In the news is the story of 50-year-old Col. Kassem Saleh, a U.S. soldier who apparently has wooed up to 50 women he met through internet dating services. “The New York Times reported Wednesday that the women, who compiled a list of more than 50 women to whom 50-year-old Col. Kassem Saleh proposed, want the colonel punished.” Saleh is married, btw. Some of the women want the Army or civil authorities to send him to jail, though it’s unclear what the charge would be.
It doesn’t look like he took these women for money or anything like that – at least I haven’t read it. They want him sent to jail for proposing while he had no intention of getting married.
So far, what I’ve read indicates these women were not in the military – he hadn’t even met some of them personally – so he wasn’t preying on women under his command. Would a breach-of-contract suit be possible for proposing while married?
Part of me says this guy is a world-class jerk and surely there must be some sort of military rule he violated. And obviously the military shouldn’t condone this behavior.
But another part of me says, what if we started enforcing laws against everyone who hurt a lover’s feelings? And for our soldiers, what happens if we start rating them based on behavior outside their jobs?
Because he’s in the military, this adds another dimension to the case. If a company said it was going to punish a man for this behavior, it might be on the losing end of a lawsuit that says his bosses have no authority to enforce their morality on his time. The military is a different organization, though.
Where do we draw the line in military cases, and civilian cases? Do we prosecute women who get engaged, accept large amounts of gifts, and break off the engagement?
One thing that interests me about this case is the reaction of one woman:
Reading between the lines, it’s not just the jilting. It’s the image. She really wants everyone to know she’s a bright, intellectual professional woman. Apparently if this happens to someone lesser than her, it’s okay.