James T. Kirk takes over for John F. Kennedy: what happens?

Suggested by my original misreading of this thread title:Kirk takes over for Kennedy.

A standard-issue spatial anomaly throws James T. Kirk and his redoubtable exec/soul mate, PunyHumansCan’tSayMyFirstName Spock, back in time to 1961. The anomaly is a QLSB type–which is to say, a Quantum Leap type. Kirk is obliged to impersonate John F. Kennedy, and Spock, LBJ. Bones and Scotty alternate playing Al. None of them know the exact details of what they must do to put history on the desired track–only that they can’t leap back to the Enterprise till they do.

How do the 60s play out differently? I mean, we assume that Jim decides to stay at home during all of November '63, but how else? Is he too much of a mensch to cheat on Jackie with Marilyn, or does he decide to take one for for the team? How does he handle the Cuban missile crisis? The civil rights movement? Hell, DOES he go to Dallas on the fateful day?

Wait, you’re actually asking if Captain Kirk would not sleep with a woman if he got the chance?

I am just trying to imagine the Kennedy accent with Kirk’s speech patterns.

Kirk goes to Dallas, Spock takes out Oswald with the Vulcan nerve pinch, but Kirk still gets shot–by a Klingon on the grassy knoll. Kirk pretends to die, so he can investigate the Klingon presence. Spock/LBJ determines the logical course of action is to follow the known path of history until a point of diversion is recognized. Kirk uncovers evidence of a Russian-Klingon Alliance that would prevent the Federation from ever forming…

The Cuban Missile Crisis actually gets scarier .:eek::eek:

Ich… bin ein, Berliner.

“Scotty, on my mark, pivot at Warp 2 and fire all nuclear missiles.”

launch

explosions

“They’re moving away, towards Capitalism, Sir. Badly damaged.”

cue music by Alexander Courage

Kirk would go to Dallas, but he’d ride in a stretch Chrysler Cordoba (yeah they were two doors, hadn’t been invented yet, work with me here), complete with rich Corinthian leather. The first shot misses but the air bag erroneously fires and the chauffeur jams the brakes. Kirk is jolted by the sudden stop and his nose is broken when Texas Governor Uhura’s legs cross.

Then they can’t get the car to start again and they’re looking under the hood when second shot comes. It’s a direct hit and Kirk dies. Luckily they have a big sunglass case and put him in it and rush it to Cape Canaveral (soon to be renamed “Cape Kirk”), launching it to another planet for burial while the Secret Service scours the area, interrogating everyone, relentlessly searching for some jumper cables.

Well, if he was in a Cordoba, you just know Khan (Ricardo Montalban) was involved. The Cordoba was only available because in the future, Khan had teleported it through a wormhole (from New Jersey in 1979 all the way to Texas in 1963).

Note: even in the future, nobody really knows exactly what “Corinthian Leather” is. Jerry’s Kids? All fixed and happy. Cancer? Cured. AIDS? No problem. Corinthian Leather? Still do not have a clue. The Texans just figure it came from Corinth, Texas.

Well as it turns out, before dying Kirk had transferred his katra to Uhura who has developed carpal tunnel syndrome from all the “turning Japanese.” Despite Kirk’s katra’s protests, they all go to retrieve the body from the sunglass case, and reunite his parts. He’s pissed off and doesn’t talk to anybody for the rest of the day.

Kirk does a combat roll then double axe handle gut punches Fidel Castro. Somehow, Kirk’s shirt gets ripped across the chest in the process.

The Cuban thing would be a breeze if the Enterprise was in orbit with ship’s phasers set on stun. Castro and Khrushchev would be in tears.

[slight hijack]Look up “The Kennedy Enterprise” by David Gerrold, a short story in which JFK becomes an actor instead of a politician, and ends up starring in an SF series by Gene Roddenberry called “Star Track”.[/slight hijack]

"Dear Mr Chairman:

We have a device called…Corbomite…"

He would have scored even more women than JFK.