A wife that good, you don’t want to eat all at once.*
This bit
is NOT a FOX reporter (possibly also moonlighting at The Onion)tampering with the original text?
They laughed at me for wearing my helmet inside the Dome.
Then the Hunger came, and they ate each other’s faces.
Well, who’s laughing now?
You stole this from an old Calvin & Hobbes strip, didn’t you?
My question is, did his mother hang it on the refrigerator?
And I am pretty sure they didn’t tip their waitress.
Regards,
Shodan
No, but Alpacas are.
[insert Zombie Alpaca Lips joke here]
He was intentionally being funny. Smith was very irreverent.
His memoirs would make for a helluva miniseries. In addition to Pocahontas/Jamestown he encountered the Countess Bathory and claimed to have been stripped naked and sold as a slave to a Turkish noblewoman. He absolutely bent the truth all kinds of different ways (among known lies he claimed to be an orphan with a hardscrabble childhood- he was born middle class and his parents lived until he was an adult), but otoh we know for a fact he had adventures in Transylvania and Poland and Virginia, so the winking “maybe he’s lying, maybe not” part could work its way in nicely.
There was a NatGeo documentary about a possible murder victim uncovered at Jamestown. Either way, the remains were the first known white GSW fatality in English North America. The death tolls for the first 15 years of Virginia were way higher than Andersonville and probably higher than many concentration camps: starvation, dehydration (they were drinking brackish water that made the victims thirsty, so they’d drink more, and get thirstier), murder, fights with Indians, fights with each other, snakebites, heat strokes, drowning, and then in 1622 an extremely well coordinated massacre that killed hundreds in one day. It’s amazing the colony wasn’t just abandoned long before then.
Ewwwww, that’s gross. You should warm me up first like a civilized man.
No, but . . . something involving fudge is.
Which Smith totally misunderstood, by the way. His impending “execution” from which Pocahontas “saved” him was a standard adoption-ritual; that someone should interrupt at some point was simply part of the ritual. “Your life is spared, you’re one of us now!”
If he didn’t make most of it up, which is also possible. While they knew each other in Virginia, he didn’t mention her in his writings at all until after she became famous in London when there’s the elaborate story and showtunes about a wolf singing to new corn moons.
Well, I always serve a traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner to my family…I suppose this year the menu will be a little different.
Anybody know where I can buy a nice, plump, juicy Butterball human?
They usually flock at Wal-Mart.
Prepared as in “ready”, or prepared as in “diced”?
With space travel powered people will take on a whole new meaning.
2 movies, and they were Uruguayan.
Alive was my favorite book when I was in the fourth grade.
In Charles Mann’s 1493, he claims that in Smith’s memoirs as a whole there are something like four different stories of his life being saved by a love-struck beautiful maiden. He also talks a great deal about the early colony: it’s a great read.
From your link:
We’d probably all do the same if we were in that situation. 80% of the first settlers died that year. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
From the cite in the OP:
Hence, “necrocannibals”. I think digging up graves to eat the contents is going yet one more step. YMMV.
I’d go for ‘die fishing’ as a worst-case scenario. I mean, tree bark, hello? I haven’t seen stories of the natives in this area resorting to cannibalism at the same time.