I sure could have, but I was really just too surprised by the whole situation. It did not fit in with my normal “walk into business, ask for products, pay for products, then leave” schema that I’ve been following ever since I’ve been here. And the normal reaction to a bumbling foreigner coming in that happens to be able to communicate with them is one of relief and happiness. So I was so taken aback by the “you can’t eat them” that I really didn’t even know what to say…
I hadn’t considered this, and I think you may be right about that. Plus I’m estimating he is about 30 years older than me, that may play a factor in his choice of language to use.
But the fact that I could read the 和菓子sign outside should have indicated that I’m at least familiar enough with the concept to know what I’m getting into. However, I guess if you live in this small neighborhood and don’t leave very often, it might not occur to you that it takes quite a bit of studying to get to the point where someone not from here can even read such a sign!
As an aside, even my coworkers were confused that Kita (north) Shinagawa is south of Shinagawa station (they weren’t aware that Shinagawa station is not in Shinagawa, even though that is the station they commute to work via every day).
It doesn’t strike me as unreasonable for him to think you blundered in based on some items you saw in the window, since you immediately began by saying you noticed items in the window.
Ah, that’s not how it went down. I used the actual word when I first started talking to him and explained that I haven’t eaten ‘wagashi’ before. So I at least knew what they were…
I’ve had this happen to me as well, but can’t condemn it too harshly as I’ve done the same myself. When I was working as an junior high school English teacher I occasionally was unable to understand students who spoke to me in perfectly intelligible English. I was not expecting to be addressed in English, and my brain therefore tried to match what they were saying with Japanese.
If he doesn’t want to do buisness with foreigners, do you think he would decline all sales with you?
I suppose you could go back to the shop, and see if he’ll let you buy something else. Walk in, pick up something off one of the shelves (like a candle), and pull out your wallet.
If he won’t sell you the candle, then I think that would clinch it: he doesn’t like strangers.
Unless you are 5, then he’s a late middle-age to older man. He owns his shop, and has for forever. He makes enough money to pay the bills and will never be rich or poor. He’s in a position where he doesn’t worry about the $5 your sale will give him.
Sorry. It doesn’t even register on his radar. You get used to that. Not everyone is interested in the world outside their neighborhood.
I’m by no means a Japanese culture expert, but is it possible that those candies were fake? The type for display? Or maybe some sort of special “decorative item” as in “you COULD eat these, but nobody does…”?
Haha, that’s exactly what I was thinking as I did it. I came across that phrase several years ago and it has stuck in my head. I only use the power when appropriate, however.
Oh, no. They were definitely real candies. I’m going to get some from a different store (they were all closed yesterday for the new year). I might hate them and vomit, but I want to be able to tell that for myself.
In my experience, the Chinese treat foreigners a helluva lot better than the Japanese do. Call it a generalization if you want, but I’d never been treated as coldly in China as I had been in Japan.
I think the OP’s amused irritation in this instance must be the tip of the iceburg for a whole bunch of seething culture-shock-fuelled anger. You’ve dedicated months or years to learning this language and now that you’re actually there, you realize that for the (majority?) of Japanese people it doesn’t make a lick of difference: you are, now and forever, the gaijin in their eyes. They’ll be oh, so polite to you in most instances; but it takes a case like the one in the OP’s scenario to show you that politeness is all it is; and all you’re ever gonna get.
Remember that even sven lives waaaay out in the sticks, doesn’t she? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of Far East. You know . . . morons.
Have you learned enough Chinese yet to know that they’re saying “laowAi” and not “laowEi?”
Anyway, that’s part and parcel of living in China. I’ve been here 7 years and it still happens, even with the kids I’ve been teaching for years. Get used to it because they’re not gonna change, you’re gonna have to.
My wife comes from farm stock, born not in the hospital but in her home with a mid-wife, not a doctor, there for her mother. We went to visit her farm this past summer and the people were very VERY polite me. Practically bending over backwards to smooth the way for me. I got a couple of the usual annoying questions, but there wasn’t a “moron” among the bunch as far as I could tell.
I don’t want to hijack, but, frankly, after all these years I’ve come to be of the opinion that many foreigners who claim to feel frustrated with living in China have brought it on themselves since, rather than trying to fit in, they try to change the behavior of the people around them. Notice what she said: “they called me ‘laowai!’ I expect more from them.” Like what? You are a laowai, get used to it or go home. This is something we long-termers in China have already come to grips with long ago.
I was being tongue in cheek, but still curious–in what part of China do you live? I’ve only been to mainland China on a couple of brief visits, but I’ve had vastly different experiences in different parts of the country.
Laowai by the way is an honorific compared to the more blunt waiguoren. Laowai is used a lot more than 25 years ago.
I’ve very rarely had cultural issues like the OP in China. Even educated shanghaiese are amazed my Amerasian kids speak native Mandarin. When living in Tokyo, I was made absolutely not welcome in a few small restaurants and bars. However the worst was trying to rent an apartment and I had multiple agents refuse to let me in the front door.
I don’t think it’s exactly that. That would be similar to me expecting everyone back in the U.S. to like and care about me, and I know that will never happen. I just ran into a situation where I wasn’t sure if I was misinterpreting something. I’ll accept that some people just don’t want to deal with me. I think it’s their loss, but whatever. 99.9% of people I’ve interacted with in Japan have been very friendly and helpful.
And yes, I grew up in a very rural place back in the U.S. I’m very familiar with xenophobic attitudes that people can have in such places just because they have never dealt with people outside of their area. I think it’s stupid if someone assumes that there aren’t people in the Americas or Europe that have similar attitudes that we’re attributing to Asians. Some of the things I’ve even heard from my own family’s mouths make me cringe.
I used the actual word when I first started talking to him and explained that I haven’t eaten ‘wagashi’ before. So I at least knew what they were…