I just read someone’s blog (on prosecuting Roger Clemens–here’s the link, it’s pretty good)– and the author, a Reformed Jew, apparently, happened to mention that he would include Jesus Christ among his ideal dinner guests, a common enough selection, but it raised some issues for me:
language barrier: no one, outside of Texas, thinks that Jesus could speak English, and I doubt most of us can speak Aramaic
and 2), an even bigger drawback–it’s possible that Jesus didn’t really exist. Unlike almost any other ideal dinner guest you could choose, it’s entirely possible (to my mind) that you could write his name (or His Name) as your ideal dinner guest and the answer would come back to you “No such historical person with this name (or description)”–
So (the reason I’ve put this in GD–Mods, move as you will) let’s assume you could have as many ideal dinner guests as you would like, but with the following stipulations: you must name them all at once, with a full description (so you don’t get Abraham Lincoln, the dentist), as many as you like but all on one list, AND if even one of them comes up “No such person, sorry” the entire list gets cancelled.
Would anyone put Jesus on their list? Personally, assuming the language thing could be worked around, I’d love to have Jesus over for dinner, I’d love to shoot the shit with him, ask him loads of questions, but there is no fucking way I’d gamble getting such a fantastic gift as having a limitless series of fascinating dinner guests on anyone who may not have existed, so, sorry, JC is right out. Is there a Christian so dead certain that Jesus walked this earth that they would choose Jesus under the (improbable) circumstances I have described?
I think you’re right; that would be too great a risk. Unfortunately, though, it would also make me reluctant to choose other potentially interesting personages like Socrates or Plato. And what about Shakespeare? Hmm…where do you draw the line? I suppose the safe thing to do would be only to choose people from the past century or two.
I don’t know. I might roll the dice on Willy S., if I could devise a 99% sure description. I’d want to omit anything I thought slightly questionable or dubious–I’d eliminate “born April 23rd” for sure, and maybe omit “Author of HAMLET,” though if he didn’t write that one, I’m not sure I have much to say to him. But Shakespeare was mentioned in historical records, and I may just want to go with “playwright and poet, resident of London, Born under Queen Elizabeth, died under King James, buried in Westminster Abbey” stuff like that–how many such William Shakespeares could there be? Socrates (less so, Plato, I think) are mentioned in historical records, are they not? It might be fun to see how we would write up these descriptions, striving for historical certainty, rather than anyh other standard.
I’m not a Christian, yet I’d choose him under your rules. (I wouldn’t choose him, actually; I’ve got choices that interest me more.) I’m convinced, beyond a reasonable doubt, that the person on whom the Christian religion is based did walk the earth.
Did he change water into wine; divide fishes and loaves to feed the multitude; walk the earth after he was executed? Those are all entirely different questions.
No, I am not. I am not a Christian, and while I think it more likely than not that Jesus existed, I’m not “dead certain”. I would expect the vast majority of those who call themselves a Christian would be.
Didn’t the Master tackle this subject in one of his aritcles? I believe that his conclusion was that Jesus did exist. He ended it with he could’t determine if Jesus was the son of God, but he was sure he was someone’s son. To busy to search for the article, but I am sure someone on here has read it.
Seriously? You can suspend belief over bringing the long-dead back to life, or transporting people through time (and then expecting them to be comfortable at your 21st century dinner table), but you can’t imagine that the language barrier problem might be solvable?
Another interesting thought is how you would frame the description so it was factual. Remember, one wrong assertion and it goes into “BZZZZZT! Sorry, no such personage found. GAME OVER” grouping, and you get zero dinner guests.
That wasn’t my major consideration, just a passing thought that wouldn’t apply to most of the people I’d want to invite. I think I could understand Abe Lincoln just fine, and he me. Even Willie S. would be able to communicate with me.
I think I’d rather swing and miss on a chance to see the real Jesus than not try at all. No matter what he’d be like, it would be a trip just to look at him, going, “holy fuck, that’s JESUS. That’s THE fucking JESUS.” Even if you invite him and find out he never existed, that’s still a mind blower and a world changer.
