Well, gobear, while I can quite easily see why you might feel that “them Christians are going by what they read in the Bible” and not adhering to an observation of objective reality, in point of fact my own experience was that, while I was “living in my head” (thanks, Tris, for that handy phrase you supplied at dinner for what I had a hard time explaining to gobear about my earlier, sterile life), that was how I operated, and I was in fact a judgmental, dogmatic sort of individual.
Then I had an experience that can be quickly if vaguely described as “God talking to me” – but for which I prefer the concept that Larry Niven originated in having his viewpoint character explain how it felt to have one of the Grogs implant information in him telepathically. Somewhat paraphrased, “He knew with a crystal clarity things that he was aware that he had not known before, yet had no sense of having learned it.”
That was how it felt to experience God’s presence within me. I knew him as a loving and powerful entity other than myself, and the knowledge of that Presence was present but the memory of having learned it was not. And the result was a burning hunger to know Him, to know more of Him, and to do His will.
I made a hairy nuisance of myself for some time thereafter, and then had the second great experience of falling in love with the young man who became my ward and in spirit my son, the pictures of whom and of whose family you’ve seen.
And this was yet another of God’s gifts to me, because in his presence to me and mine to him, we healed each other’s broken spirits and he opened me up to the experience of being an integral human whose emotions are not “something that no good man can express” but which need to be suppressed (as my parents had taught me) but someone who can use reason and emotion, empathy and compassion, anger and love for the common good.
And it was an interesting experience to be acting as a father figure to him and finding myself telling him, not what I wanted to see him do, but rather what would be best for him in the long run (and we’re not talking religious morals here, but rather the living out of his life, the sorts of life decisions young men have to make as they pass from late adolescence into adulthood). I felt very strongly that I was mentally blocked from telling him anything but the right advice, even when what I wanted personally was something quite different.
Now, what you have here is my word on what happened. I’m quite aware that it’s possible that my experiences were self-delusion (in several hours of personal conversation, I can explain the logic that leads me to believe otherwise) or the actions of some entity other than the Christian God, whether objectively real or something I invented and externalized. But that’s my testimony in a nutshell as to why I counted myself in a relationship with God, and still do, with as much metaphor scraped off and explanation substituted as I can achieve in the time to compose one long post.