Hey dijon, long time no see.
So how was the pizza? I’m sure Jesus wouldn’t dissapoint you, now would he?
Kitty
Hi, yourself. 
I had pizza tonight, but it was brought by some guy named Brian…
He not skinny and weak, he just has a swimmers build, that’s all. 
Jesus Gump. . . . I like that.
Swimmer’s build?!?
Shouldn’t that be dude who WALKS on water build?
Oh, and I really wish I had a pizza right now.
— G. Raven
[ugly crossdressed monty python woman]
He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.
[/ugly crossdressed monty python woman]
1.) Until he took up being a rabble rousing holy man, Jesus was a carpenter… ergo, his build should be decent, not the skinny emaciated wuss they put on all the velvet pictures.
2.)“And he did take of the pizza, and with it fed the masses, and lo the one pizza fed the many, and with it was given Pepsi, and it is the choice of a new generation. And many were the crusts left on the hill, such that it were more than the pizza that was given.” - Book of Tristan 32452:2645.6
3.) You missed it. “For my next trick… a leper out of a hat!” Reach into hat, pull out just hand… “…well, I’ll get the rest of him out later… and now…”
Perhaps for his next trick he could produce some tums after all that fat and grease…
Tristan, you owe me a new nose. The hot cappucino I was drinking when I read this really freakin’ hurt when it came out of my nostrils. I think there’s some ruined cartilage up there.
I met Jesus at a party last night. He must have been in drag, because he looked like this beautifully well-built Austrian girl. She said to me, “go forth and hit noth upon me, for ye shall never defile me with thy penis.”
And the word was bond.
Has anybody ever read “BattlePope”? It’s a comic where God pretty much gives up on humanity, and the devil takes over. But God appoints one regular guy to be the Battle Pope, and defend the masses.
What’s the point of this, you ask? Well, the guy’s sidekick is Jesus. He’s just this tripped-out little hippie guy who barely ever does anything. But there’s a great scene where the Pope’s about to be killed by a demon, and Jesus just busts out with this huge, flashly, deadly miracle-attack, killing the thing.
Pope: “How the Hell did you do that?”
Jesus: “I’m the Son of God, man.”
Pope: “Oh. Yeah.”
-Jester, who needs to stop reading so many comics.
You’re welcome.
wow, I finally got a goink on the board… I’m so happy!
[homer]Mmmmmm… flesh of Christ… with extra cheese…[/homer]
Padding your post count again, sweets?