For the sake of disussion, let’s limit this to pre-Ministry Jesus. I’m kind of leaning towards Batman being tougher. Why? Same reason that Batman is tougher than Superman. Superman and Jesus don’t need to be particularly bright, or skillful, or anything becuase they are super/divine. Take away the whole God thing, and Jesus is just a rusticated Roman-era carpenter. What does he know about matrtial arts or combatives? Nothing.
I dunno. Jesus might be able to convince Batman to forgive the man who shot his parents.
I suspect Bats would then turn into a devout convert and would go out of his way to make people repent, with lots of yummy violence.
yeah, yeah, prepared, blah
:rolleyes: Everybody seems to have at least one halfrate superchump geek that they think can beat Batman.
It’s not that easy folks!
What about South Park Jesus? He can kick ass when he wants to.
but I’d still go with Batman.
First off, a rusticated Roman-era carpenter was probably pretty fit physically. Secondly, at the age of 12 Jesus was already amazing the elders with his knowledge. So I could make the argument that he could match wits with Batman.
Which one is prepared?
So, no hotrod then?
What, you think Jesus wasn’t God before John the Baptist dunked him in the Jordan? Sorry, but Christ Jesus is God Incarnate from the moment of His conception.
OK, now that I’ve got that out of the way…
I wish you hadn’t limited it to pre-ministry Jesus, because I’m not sure even the Dark Knight would have the cajones to trash a church lobby.
But, well…
Batman can’t turn water into wine (Jesus actually did that before His ministry started, hence his comments to his Mother “my time has not yet come” or words to that effect.). An intoxicated opponent would give a combatant a definite advantage.
However… a first century carpenter would probably be pretty buff, what with all the hand sawing, pounding nails, and, quite possibly having to cut his own trees. So I imagine Jesus was pretty built. On the other hand, pre-ministry, Jesus would, in all likelihood, be keeping His divine powers under wraps. He wasn’t really into using His Deity to prove his Divine Badness. If we extend that to also choosing not to use His omnipotence, which would include all martial arts knowledge, past, present and future, as well as being able to read Batman’s mind, thus knowing Batman’s next move even before Batman did, I think that in hand to hand combat, the fight would go to Batman.
Mind you, this is assuming that Jesus would choose not to use any of His divine powers. Remember, most of Batman’s fighting ability comes from his martial arts training and being able to anticipate his opponent’s next move. If Jesus even just brought the omnipotence into play, I think He could literally kick Batman’s ass from here to Hell and back.
I dunno.
Doesn’t Jesus deal some death as a child in one of the non-canonical Gospels? Does that count?
But then again, Jesus let a bunch of obviously inferior people whip his ass and kill him.
So I’ve gotta go with Batman on this one.
South Park Jesus (Band name?) is bad ass, but he is also dead. He was killed by Iraqis when he was rescuing Santa.
Pssh. Like anyone stays dead in comic books.
Is this thread just here to make brewster2’s head explode? Either way I am amused. Jesus just needs his own utility belt with Eucharistarangs and Mary Magdalene gets the Jesus pole.
Well, looks like I made it back in time to sneak in and post this before anyone actually read my last post and made with the merciless teasing.
Replace the word “omnipotent” with “omniscient” in that post. If Jesus decided to use his omnipotence, he could open up the whupass on the entire JLA with one hand tied behind his back.
Anyhoo, if Jesus brought his omniscience into play, he could kick Batman’s ass from here to Hell and back, just because he would be able to anticipate Batman’s every move.
The question really is, would Jesus actually choose to put up a fight?
And, hell, why would Batman even want to fight Jesus, anyway?
He’s a pretty pissed-off guy, that Batman.
Anyway, I’m picking the Dark Knight- provided he has some nails in his utility belt.
Has BATMAN ever fought a gang of lesbian Vampires. I don’t THINK so.
No; surely if he’s omnipotent he couldn’t tie one hand behind his back any more than make a rock so heavy he couldn’t lift it? 
Anyway, my money’s on Jesus, even if he doesn’t use any miracles. If anyone can out-shine batman in coming out on top despite the odds stakes it’d be him.
Wait a minute! Jesus can read minds!?!?!?!? :eek:
Oh, shit. I’m in trouble. :smack:
Jesus can fly, come back from the dead, wash away your iniquities, cleanse you of your sins, and walk on water.
Batman has a utility belt.
Jesus, being a carpenter, probably has a pretty cool utility belt, too.
Jesus: 1
Batman: 0
I think it already did.
Darn you adam, darn you to heck 
(If we saw both of them walking down the street, would that day be Halloween?)
Offhand, the one that DIDN’T wind up nailed to a cross.