Batman Vs. Superman

Ok so today my friends and I got into a pretty heated debate about which one of these caped crusaders would win if the two were ever to get in a fight. Personally I say Batman because hes got just about everything in that crazy utility belt of his, so Im willing to bet he’s carrying some kyptonite. Also, Batman is such a pimp and hes rich. But Ill leave the final verdict to you guys.

There was a great FoxTrot comic about this. I’m not sure which one of my books its in, so I’m not gonna look for it and scan it in now.

It’s been done, actually. In Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Batman comes out of retirement in a time when superheroes have vanished under government repression–only Superman, who works for the government now, and Green Arrow, a would-be revolutionary of sorts, are still around. When Batman takes to the streets again, Superman is sent in to stop him, leading to this
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Then the carefully timed dose of a drug allows Batman to fake his own death, only to return later at the head of a band of vigilantes.

Also, in the current continuity (which could change at any minute) Superman gave Batman a kryptonite ring which ol’ Bats is to use in case Supes goes totally mental and has to be taken out. Unfortunately, President Lex Luthor (yes, I said PRESIDENT) has it and Batman wants it back REAL bad.

Superman would waste Batman. Pure logic says so…I mean, even if Batman pulled out some Kryptonite, if Superman saw it coming (big green glow) he could quickly use super breath and blow it down the street…or just use his eye heat-vision things (it’s been a while since I’ve tuned into Superman stuff, so I don’t know if he even still does that, heh) and roast Batman from across the road.

However, if I were a criminal I’d rather run into Superman than Batman. I mean, Superman is just a happy guy who’ll carry you off to jail. Batman is creepy as hell, runs around in the shadows, appears out of nowhere with cool lighting coincidently placed to create the eeriest effects…Batman’s got the whole “Hello, now you’re going to die.” fear thing going for him that Superman just doesn’t have.

Superman would probably win in a fight (throw a building at Batman and see what “Bat-Building-Deflector” he pulls out of his belt), but Batman is cooler.

  • Tsugumo (I’ll have to go find that Frank Miller book…sounds good)

I would say that Batman would win. Batman is a wuss in comparison to Superman, but he uses his brain a lot more than superman. And his clever mind could easily defeat stuper…err superman’s naive, not so clever mind.

SUPERMAN of course!

Every adult knows that Superman is so strong that if he runs round and round and round and round the world he actually makes it spin backwards and then time goes backwards and Lois can be revived and saved from whatever it was that killed her (an anvil falling from the sky?).

Now can Batman do that? I don’t THINK so…

Time to throw out the big dogs.
First, let’s get all the facts out.

THE FACTS.

Batman

Hangs around in a big creepy house with a young kid in tights.
To busy with being rich and fighting crime to get women.
Is in a town full of idiots that would not link a billion dollar Batman plane with a billionaire.
Is a tool that comes whenever his light goes off. What if he’s taking a shit or something?
Is way bitter about his parents.
Likes creeping up on people.
Rarely has a date but get’s it on with Batgirl.
His friend (the commish) can’t tell that Batgirl is his daughter through half a mask.
Is not as strong as Supes.
All the gadgets in the world could save his ass form being crushed to death by Superman.
His headquaters is littered with guano.
Can beat up regular people.
Is smart.
If he wanted to know something about you he would in about 30 seconds.
His computer runs Windows ME and always crashes at crucial moments.
Agile.
1 bullet, 1 good shot, dead.
All his villians are unoriginal moronic bastards. Christ! If the riddler didn’t want to get caught he should stop leaving clues… dumbass.
Smells. :smiley: Had to add this one.
My Assessment:

He’s good on John Q. Lawbreaker and has a lot of homoerotica lingering about him.

Superman

Super-strong.
Super-fast.
Can impersonate any voice.
Can see microscopic.
Is in love with the dumbest girl in the comics, I mean, Jesus! If I were to put on tights, put on some glasses and do a little squiggel at the front of my head, my friends would know who I am.
Not only beats up regular people but the occassioanl robot and super villian mastermind.
Uses the reflection on Luther’s head to fix his hair.
Can save the world day after day but does not have the cohones to ask Lois out.
Encounters interplanetery villians and kicks their ass.
Would be a horrible real estate agent… "Now this fortress comes complete with ice furniture, no heating and frostbite, asking price is $500,000,000.
Kryptonite makes him go bye-bye.
Could avoid being killed if he wore that protective suit all the time.
Bad dresser.

My Assessment:

He can kick ass here or there, he can kick ass anywhere, he can kick ass, he is superman. Kicks major ass all over the place basically.

Pin these two together and you get:

Batman Puree with a hint of Robin.

You got your strongest man alive that can corner Batman and crush him. If he tries to run away, he can fly and see through walls. No contest. Batman can run and hide but not forever, eventually, Superman would win.

So there!

I’ve gotta side with **Balance **here, 'cuz I too have read Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. An excellent read, though <spoiler> Alfred dies and Greyson Mannor is destroyed.[sub]What’s that? Not enough spoiler space? Tough.[/sub]

Come on… Just because some dude with a complex about his parents is smart doesn’t mean he can beat the man of steel. I thought about posting everything that Mercutio said, but figure another list of facts would be pointless.

Superman in the first second of round 1.

batman is smarter and cooler. iffen anyone could beat superman (doubtful, we are after all talking about the man of steel), it’d be batman. mebbe he’d trick him into a cage built of kryptonite or some such. ooooohhhhh, howzabout the hulk vs superman! now that’d be a battle royal. could the hulk take superman? what say you, dopers?

i mean, in my fighting experience, whoever gets the maddest will usually win, and nobody gets madder than the hulk.

Here’s a previous thread in which their relative merits are discussed. I believe there’s a little sub-discussion about who would win in a fight. (Note that the first part of it was in the UBB days, so some of the posts are out of order.)

It breaks down like this: if he has time to plan, Batman wins. If Superman just up and decides to pulp Batman, Superman wins.

And if you haven’t even read The Dark Knight Returns, you are unqualified to weigh in on this debate. Christ. Kids these days.

Only Sherlock Holmes in literature has a more keen mind than The Batman. If Superman finds out that he would have to deal with the Joker about 400 times, Superman would go crazy long before then. Batamn will goad Supes into doing something stupid, and will take full advantage. Notice that when Batman was out of action, Doomsday came out to wreak havoc. Coincidence?

I remember a Superfriends episode where the Green Lantern defeated Superman. I can’t recall the details, though.

Superman vs. the Hulk has been done, too, essvee. It was in the lamentable Marvel vs. DC crossover (in which Batman and Captain America save the day, more-or-less). Supes won, but it was closer than you might expect–even though the Hulk wasn’t mad (Banner is in control these days). They went toe-to-toe, and it took everything Supes had to knock him out. The Wolverine vs. Lobo fight was more entertaining.

I generally refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Superfriends, OneChance, but I would point out that any of the GLs ought to be able to simulate kryptonite (which is green, after all). If one of 'em took a dislike to Supes, he should have an easy time of it–the only yellow on Superman’s costume is the background on the “S”.

I have read Batman: The Dark Knight Returns so, according to Lux Fiat, I’m ok.

I thought the results of the fight between Supes and Bats were stupid. It made for a great comic, but c’mon.

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Batman using some sort of sonic cannon against Superman? That’s weak. It would have annoyed him a bit, but that is it.

Batman enlisting the aid of Green Arrow? Weak once again. Superman would hear him or notice the kryptonite arrow in time to move. Then he’d rip GA’s other arm off and beat him with it. Plus, I think this discussion would involve the two going one on one. Outsiders (pun intended) are not allowed.

The only chance Batman would have would be if he could come up with kryptonite. Without it, he has NO chance. And, you gotta think, Superman would keep a very close eye on where all the green stuff goes. So, unless Batman could pull some kryptonite out of his Bat-ass, Superman would pound him into the ground like a tent peg.

Superman would win, simply because he vastly overwhelms Batman in terms of powers and abilities. If Batman knew he was being hunted by Supes, he might be able to stay hidden for a while (“Okay, here’s my emergency bat-map of lead-lined caves”), but it’d still be Supes when they finally faced off.

To echo Tsugumo, however, I’d rather face Superman than Batman any day. Superman, at worst, will give you a disapproving look when he hauls you off to jail. Batman might decide to skip the criminal justice system and do something far worse to you – something that will give you screaming nightmares for years to come.

You don’t dare tug on Batman’s cape. Superman, though, is too nice to object.

In all seriousness, this is one of the best books I have ever read. By best I mean that it was extremely memorable for me, evoked significant emotion, was well scripted …

An amazing illustrated novel … I think I am going to go read it again.

See, the problem with Superman is that he is so powerful that he could stomp the crap out of anyone he wanted to. That’s why they have to give him this rigid moral code so that he constantly handicaps himself. Would an unrestrained Supes hav any trouble with the Hulk? Hell no! A casual toss sunward and no more Bruce Banner. The same goes for Bats. Most everyone assumes Superman is still playing by the rules, and Batman isn’t, which is certainly in character, but if these two are trying to do each other in, there’s just no contest. Superman could kick back on the moon and pick off almost anyone, superhero, villain, or Joe Schmoe, with his heat vision.

On the other hand, if Bruce Wayne was planning on assassinating the Man of Steel, he could definitely do it. I mean, we all know Batman’s just barely on our side of the good/evil line anyway…