Jesus of.....Seaworld?

IIRC, he just said he’d be back. Not that he’d come back as a human. :smiley:

But the pup was female. Would the “Son of God” come back as a female shark?

What are you, sexist as well as speciest? :smiley:

I saw that story this morning, and what I want to know is:
**Can Shark-baby Jesus Save Denver From Plague Monkeys? **
Can she?

Noooooo! First Steve Irwin, now our savior!!! I bet Mel Gibson’s already working on his next movie.

Shark Jesus Quotes:
“Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime; teach a man to BE a fish, feed him plankton.”
“Turn the other gill.”
“Let he who is without barnacles cast the first stone.”

It was a Hammerhead, you see? A HAMMERHEAD! Jesus was a carpenter, and they use HAMMERS! It’s a sign! The oceans are rising! It’s the End Times! And this time, IT’S PERSONAL!

“And there were in that same country sheepsheads, abiding in the kelp, keeping watch over their fry by night. And lo, the angelfish of the Lord came upon them…”

–And that’s what Chondrichthyes is all about, Charlie Brown.

I think it would be more fitting if the baby shark would be Jerry Falwell’s first reincarnation. In a long series of rebirths, he will spring forth as a small prey animal to be ripped asunder within moments or hours.

Really, more suitable on so many levels.

Is anyone else catching onto the fact that stingrays are pure evil?

That’s why we have to change their name from “Stingrays” to “1920’s Style Death Rays”. Won’t someone think of the children?

There’s a video link in the middle of the article: “Watch why researchers say this is not a good sign”. I can’t be bothered to download whatever video plugin they want me to download to watch it (especially since I could swear I already have at least two or three video player-type thingies on this computer), but I think it’s funnier just going by the title alone anyway:

Researcher: Are you people crazy?!? The sharks are reproducing without even having to have any male sharks!!! We can’t even keep them from forming an unstoppable Shark [del]Army[/del] Navy by keeping the males and females in separate tanks. Next thing, they’ll grow lungs, and opposable thumbs, and frickin’ laser beams! Thank God for the stingrays! I’m moving to Kansas!

'Course I just noticed that this damned shark was born in Nebraska. I guess we’re just completely screwed, huh?

Gives new meaning to “The Body of Christ”.

What wine goes with that?

Sharks in the Heartland
(SOAP 2)

We could still end up, with the great big fishes.

Priest and cannibals, prehistoric animals,
everybody happy as the dead come home.
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis,
no one move a muscle as the dead come home.

– Shriekback

Sangre Del Virge

Probably something from the Greg Norman Estates.

If you’re really interested in knowing why it’s not that great for the species:

Because the offspring is getting it’s genetic material from only one parent, it is less able to adapt to problems in its environment. And this will only become worse in successive generations from this type of birth.

It’s a good short-term strategy by a species to maintain population levels, but is a genetic dead-end in the long run.

We now return to our joking and such already in progress.

There’s no mention of what happened three days after it was killed? I thought that would be noteworthy, too.

Wasn’t He supposed to come back as a lion?

I hear a bunch of the sharks in the tank are now swimming around talking in tongues with flames above their heads…