That kind of throws out her whole argument that the original offer from the jeweler isn’t good enough because of sentimentality. The new ring will remind her of nothing but the loss of her original ring.
I have to agree; this sounds like nothing more than a punitive move against the store. And then you’re faced with the time and effort of picking out a new ring, and then when all is said and done, you still don’t have what you picked out in the first place. I predict this would just cause you to hold on to your bitterness over this incident even longer.
Whereas, if you accept the replacement rings – unless you’re the types of people that never let go of anything, ever – this minor inconvenience early in your marriage will fade into memory, and in years to come it will be all but forgotten. That’s my experience, at least.
It seems we have two undisputed facts here:
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The original ring is gone forever.
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The original had sentimental value.
If that’s the case, wouldn’t you want the replacement to be EXACTLY like the original? Seems to me that getting a different replacement ring flies in the face of the idea that the original was something special.
I suppose that doesn’t preclude trying to get the store to give you a gift certificate, a pair of earrings, etc. etc., along with the replacement ring. But still, it smacks of opportunism to me.
In my life, some things (and people, and pets) that I had incredible sentimental attachment to have been lost - sometimes because life sucks and shit happens, and sometimes because someone made a mistake they shouldn’t have. It happens to us all, if we live long enough. Life goes on.
I think the suggestions upthread to “christen” the new ring via a romantic dinner/second honeymoon or something like that are the best. If you’ve been married 10 months, your first anniversary isn’t far off. I’d treat this as an opportunity to renew your vows and create beautiful memories, not as a chance to get material worth out of a store that made an honest mistake.
What if they are planning to take the cost of any extras they give you out of the paycheck of the person who made the mistake? Would you feel comfortable with that?
What does the warranty say? I would think any terms for losing a ring would be written in there or the receipt your wife received when she dropped the ring off. That would be what you’re entitled to (most likely a replacement ring of equal value). To try and get something more out of the situation is just tacky.
Edited to add: that I missed the part where you already talked about the warranty. Sorry.
Personally, I’m not remotely sentimental about jewelry – them getting me an exact duplicate of the lost ring would be just fine for me personally.
However, I’m also a student of etiquette & wedding traditions, so I know that the jewelry industry has been making bank for decades by using advertising to purposefully conflate sentiment and jewelry.
They are trying to have it both both ways – when you were buying the ring in the first place, I’m sure they assured you that you were buying an heirloom; a physical symbol of your love that would endure for all the years of your marriage… Of course, now that it’s lost (through their fault, even though it was an honest mistake) and they need to replace it, all that sentimental jive goes out the door.
I think, if they really wanted to reinforce the notion that every wedding ring is an instant heirloom, a little ‘extra’ value added to the replacement would have been a good customer service move.
But isn’t putting in a little extra also negating the idea of sentiment? If it’s really about sentiment, isn’t it a little crass to say that you can make up for sentiment with a gift certificate?
They’d have to spin it a little, “We’re so very sorry that your special ring was lost through our fault, obviously there is no monetary way to repair this loss; please accept this [item or gift certificate] as a token of our sincere apology.” If they want to continue to profit by the illusion that wedding jewelry is a great big sentimental deal beyond its actual value as jewelry, then they need to stand by that illusion.
If it were me, I’d be tempted to go in, pick up the check for the replacement value and tell them, “Hey, we believed you when you told us this was the most important piece of jewelry we’d ever buy. Now we discover that it really was just another ring after all… Thanks for cluing us in to the marketing hoax the jewelry industry has been running. We’re going to go to WalMart now to buy a plain gold wedding band, then spend the rest of this windfall on books [or computer equipment or motorcycle parts or whatever].”
Must everything but so black and white? I was referring to this case, of a ring with sentimental value, not a family heirloom, not an antique. It’s a ring. It’s not a life. Like I said, there’s no point in magnifying the loss.
I am a very sentimental person. I still have my mother’s driver’s license and glasses. She died 15 years ago. I keep a swatch of my old dog’s hair despite him dying almost ten years ago. To me they have value that can’t be replaced at any cost. I could get an old DL, a used pair of glasses, and some hair off my new dog but that won’t be the same. Neither will a gift certificate for above the cost of a ring. Nothing the store can do will bring that sentimental worth back. My suggestion was simply to take the replacement ring and attach a new value to it. It can be the story they tell their grandkids.
To show the true worth, if the couple breaks up see how fast she’ll pawn it or toss it in a drawer (or even a river!). Then the sentimental value will drop on it’s own, considerably. That’s because it’s not the ring, it’s the memory. She hasn’t lost that when she lost her ring.
When you sent the ring out for repair, you probably signed a release limiting their liability to the value of the ring and thier replacing it. I think going in to shake them down for addtitional value is wrong, they don’t owe you anything.
What I would do is thoroughly examine all the stones under a loupe, or scope if they have one and inspect carefully for inclusions. I would point out any characteristics of the stones you believe to be of a lesser quality than the originials and ask they be changed. If your ring is a stocked item, I’d ask to look at 2 or 3 and take the pick of the litter.
If your ring was certified, make sure the new one is too. I’d compare each and very statistic on the certs and make sure you were gettign equal or better, especialliy in center stone color, clarity, carat weight, and the overall carat weight.
What I WOULD ask for as a full and fair settlemt of the issue, considering their mistake:
If your ring wasn’t certified, I’d ask them to get the new one certified at their expense so you can rest assued you’re getting a similar, known quality in the new ring. If the price on this was over $1500, I’d consider that a very reasonable request.
If none of that applies, I’d ask for somehting that gives a mutual benefit. Maybe a promised substantial discont on a wrap or struds for a 1st anniversary present. They give discounts all time, and this shows them they can keep your business. I’d push for 40% off the stricker or sale price of any item in the store of your choosing, good for a year from today.
If they’re not ameanable to any of the above, I’d demand a refund of the oreiginal purchase, enjoy the fun or ring shopping again, and be happy that you’ll have a new jeweler who’ll take better care of you in the future.
I would take the identical rings(s) the jewelry store offers, and make a big deal about presenting it to your wife. Make a nice speech about how the ring is new, but your love for her hasn’t changed, and so forth and so on.
Women like that kind of stuff. With any luck, you’ll get laid out of it.
Regards,
Shodan
I’m engaged, not married, but it always make me sad, and more than a bit angry, of some married man HOPING to get sex with his wife, as a reward for “good behavior”…
I used to work for a jewelry store with the same warranty procedure as the OP describes, and we offered free cleaning like your wife had also. But we always performed an inspection of the jewelry first, before cleaning it, to prevent what happened to your wife. If there was a defect or loose stone we would just tell the person and give it back to them without cleaning it. So the store here was a little at fault, IMO.
If the OP’s store is the same one I worked in, everyone who sent out jewelry with us to be repaired did sign a waiver that described what would happen in case of loss. These stores have all kinds of policies on how to handle these kinds of situations, replacing a piece with the exact same piece when possible is pretty standard. There is also probably a statement you got with your original receipt explaining how the warranty system works and how they value and replace stones and jewelry.
If someone had a piece that was a one of a kind heirloom or needed custom work, I would suggest to them to search for a jewelry store that has an actual jeweler on site. Most mall / chain stores send their stuff out and it is possible things can get lost in transit.
I was posting mildly tongue-in-cheek, but FWIW “hoping” works at least as well as “expecting” or “insisting” or a number of other approaches.
And I think you go wrong if you think of it as a reward for good behavior. More like a response to “aren’t you sweet?”
This is part of what they mean when they say “marriage takes work”. You do stuff the other person likes, because you know they like it.
For instance, a week ago Friday I surprised my wife with a weekend in Vegas. Did I do that 'hoping" to get laid? Well, sort of - it has been my experience that women’s sexual desires are triggered by romantic gestures. That’s not to say that if I didn’t take her to Vegas, I’d never get any. It’s just that the relationship is based on the mutual understanding that both of us make an effort to keep the other person interested. You find out what the other person’s hot buttons are, and make an effort to hit them on a regular basis - in a good way.
Did the weekend in Vegas “work”? Heavens, yes - she was glowing all weekend, because I thought it all up by myself and made an effort to pamper her. Did I get laid? A whole weekend in a strange city, with no kids, the opportunity to sleep as late as we want, and the bathroom to ourselves - what do you think?
It’s a relationship, not a series of quid pro quos, but it is never a good idea to take anything for granted for too long.
But what the hell do I know - I have only been married for twenty-eight years.
Regards,
Shodan
Bolding mine
David adds new word to his dictionary…
You’re entitled to an equal replacement, nothing more. If they offer you something additional, say thank you and count your blessings.
If I were the jeweler and you got all red-assed about sentimental value, I’d create or acquire a duplicate and say ‘hey, good news, we found it’.
It’s not like you or wifey would ever know the diff.
Which should, in itself, tell you something right there.
mmm
Cat Whisperer learns new phrase…
The fact that she is thinking about changing the rings now makes me wonder if she was presented an engagement ring rather than picking her own.
If I had my ring lost, and I was given the option to get a new design, I probably would, because looking at the replacement would probably get me all pissed off at the store for losing it.
However, I am very sentimental about objects.
LOL! That’s the first thing I thought of, but it would depend on whether it had been engraved. I also thought that since the store could have done that, the fact that they didn’t showed they were acting in good faith (or it had been engraved).
Then I thought, if I was this jewelry store, I’d really want to make sure these customers were happy now. Even if they got an exact duplicate, they will not be happy with the store and would probably tell all their friends and neighbors about the store that lost their ring, which would not be a good thing for the store. So I’d certainly offer something to make them NOT want to go around telling others what a crap store it is. Just my 2 cents. Whatever.
I am so naming my next dog “Phluphi”!
I bet the store finds the original ring over the weekend.
And I bet you don’t believe them when they ring to tell you they actually DO have the original ring, no need for any recompense…