First of all, I recommend you get Voicemail at home, or an answering machine that allows you to screen the calls. If you don’t actually speak to her, then you’re not responsible for any commitment she makes for you.
I’ve informed my family that I make the charoses and arrive on time. That’s my part of the seder. I don’t suppose you could slip a couple valium tablets in a bottle of Mogan David Concord Grape and work on getting your mom in the passover spirit a couple days early?
Or show up at seder late, explain “I’m stuffed. I was so hungry I stopped at Wendy’s and had a bacon cheeseburger. Boy, it was yummy!”
Is there a blessing for the soft margarine you put on the matzo to make it palatable? There should be.
To a common tune for Shir HaMa’alot (the psalm introducing the grace after meals):
Sheer exhaustion
Is what Pesach brings!
Matzah, matzah balls,
And there’s all the cleaning!
(Attrib. Scuba_Mom, who probably got it from somewhere else.)
Any major holiday brings out the best and the worst in family relations. Everybody’s under high stress with getting ready for the holiday, plus whatever else is going on, plus their routine psychoses. Which reminds me, I need to get started on my Passover cleaning.
Eva, I suggest you find your own way to enjoy the holidays and your own style. Try to separate your mother’s issues from the festival, and make your own joy. Keep in mind that we have the heritage of the festivals for rejoicing and gladness.
The blessing over bread takes precedence over all other foods, so no separate blessing is needed. But if you insist, the proper blessing (IIRC) is she-hakol niyeh bid’varo, and is recited after saying motzi.
Margarine is evil. At Chez Robin, the spread of choice is butter. (I know, not kosher with meat.) I can also count on no hands the number of boxes of matzo I’ve ever finished. They should make half boxes. Maybe I’ll e-mail Manischiewitz.
MsRobyn, don’t you like matzo brei? My favorite recipe:
1 sheet matzo and 1 egg per person
Cinnamon sugar and/or brown sugar to taste (some people like maple syrup)
Run matzo under lukewarm tap water for a few seconds. Crumble it into a bowl with your fingers. Beat in eggs and mix thoroughly. Let stand for a couple of minutes to soften. Fry in butter, stirring frequently. Sprinkle on cinnamon sugar or brown sugar to taste.
Yummy, and completely OK for Passover breakfast carbos! I used to beg Mom to make this form me when I was a kid, even when it wasn’t Passover, but I haven’t made it in a long time. Maybe I’ll buy some matzo, just for the hell of it…
Well, I’m not Jewish, but why don’t you tell your mom what you’ve told us? Especially the part about calling you to drop everything and go to the store for her.
Won’t a simple, “Sorry, Mom, I’m up to my elbows in flour and grape leaves. I’ll see you at 3.” (or whatever time she told you to come over) do?
I think you need to start saying, “No” more often. My pet saying, A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Ah, **ivylass, ** you underestimate my mom’s persistence. If all Jewish mothers have her persistence gene, then it’s no wonder the Jewish people have survived all the hardhships we’ve been through. Believe me, I’ve had innumerable discussions/arguments with her over the years on these points. I do say no, frequently, but it seems to have no lasting effects.
That’s precisely what I’ve been doing…I’m now trying to figure out how not to go to what promises to be the Seder from Hell. Maybe I’ll tell Mom I’m playing Elijah this year, so I’ll be invisible. I really can’t take time off work right now, and the way things are scheduled, I’ll have time to go to the Seder, but only if I don’t sleep for 3 days…Mom is remarkably unsympathetic to my attempts to balance work and family, saying she always manages to find time for holidays (which is untrue anyway), but then maybe that has something to do with why she’s been fired from her last 2 jobs (well, maybe in combination with her aforementioned organizational skills).
Sometimes I swear I must have been swapped at the hospital, if only we didn’t look so much alike…
Eva Luna I liked you till I realized you’re one of those freaks that puts sugar on their matzo brei.
The correct way to do it is with a lot of salt and pepper.
(Note: I find that those raised on the salt/pepper variation find the sugar/cinnamon variation too revolting to contemplate, and vice versa)
I also do it a little differently, with more egg to matzo. And I break the matzo into large pieces in a bowl, run warm tap water over it, let it sit a second, then take handfuls and squeeze the water out. Mix with eggs, etc.
To the OP, the year I had Thanksgiving at MY place was the least stressful thanksgiving has ever been. I’ve also had Passover with friends on my living room floor, and it was a lot of fun. Consider remaking Passover into what YOU want it to be, instead of being shoehorned into someone else’s plans.