JLo dumps Ben... gobble gobble indeed

Gigli– It’s the new Ishtar!

What’s up with that article having tomorrow’s date? Is it already Thursday there?

Man, TimeZones suck.

Did you take a number at the counter?

I’ve got 007264, and they tell me it’ll be at least nine years. You might want to get your number now.

J-Lo decided not to break it up until after the wedding. She figured that if she broke it off now, she would fall behind in the race to have the most divorces.

Is that so!

Uh, yeah, sweetie. It was from before I knew you. It’s, uh, it’s an investment. Yeah, that’s it. Should be worth a few bucks on eBay.

I wouldn’t sweat it herownself. By the time his number is up is number will be up.

In a corollary to the famous Warhol axiom, in the future, everyone will be “engaged” to J. Lo for 15 minutes…

Why such criticism of Gigli? On IMDB it’s #1.

000985, myself. Inherited it from an in-law. At the current rate, I should marry her in about 8 to 10 years, tops.

Damn - I was looking forwards to her break up ballad “Taco Kisses For My Ben.”

Man! I have 8675309! It’ll be a while, but Jenny, I got your number!

I get the impression this may her (or both of their) publicists attempt to change the subject, perform damage control, and distance themselves from the film’s failure.

If they can get people to focus on a whole “did they break up or not” question rather than “top this” slams on the movie, then they can start gearing up for the next round of overhype for his next dumb flick, her next bland album, Jersey Girl, or whatever their next assault on our collective attention will be.

But I say fight it brothers and sisters! Dwell on the contempt you feel for these two human test patterns! Savour the bile you taste when you hear a Jennifer Lopez song! Keep alive the memory of the unfortunate fallen who paid money to see that awful film out of ignorance, curiosity, or self-loathing. Pity the poor film critics who drown in the torrents of venom they unleashed in the wake of this film.

Remember the Gigli!

So, did they break up? C’mon, I’m dyin’ here!

Naw, I think their relationship is most likely genuinely reeling from the failure (to put it lightly) of Gigli, amovie that was supposed to show America, and remind each other, how cute and funny and sexy they are together. Plus Ben is a complete and utter whore (and I have more than two eyewitnesses that’ll testify to that).

I really don’t understand all this vitriol.

Am I the only one that thinks it would be cool if their marriage is a success?

Whatever else might be true of Gigli, it is certainly not “a movie that was supposed to show America, and remind each other, how cute and funny and sexy they are together.” They hadn’t even met when they each agreed to do the movie. They met on the set of Gigli. It certainly was not created as a vehicle for a star couple. It may or may not be any good, and they may or may not be nice people, but the people who cast them in the film had no idea that they would fall in love and get engaged.

Wil, I have 8675308. You do know this means you get my slops…

How does one even pronounce Gigli, anyways? Is it like giggly? Or jiggly? Jijly? Gijly?

In Italian, g before i is soft. And in Italian, when there is a gl combination, the g is silent. So Gigli is pronounced JEE-lee.

Like I Pagliacci: ee pah-lee-AH-chee
Or Camille Paglia: PAH-lee-uh