Unless the situation is untolerable, or your spouse can comfortably support you, find another job before you quit the one you have.
I think it’s been established that he can support her, plus she’s fairly far along in a pregnancy and the job will soon be gone anyway.
Or am I being whooshed? This is a well-discussed topic but I don’t want to assume everyone is up to snuff on Mouse_Maven’s lab woes.
There’s no harm in listening to what he has to say and THEN walking out the door. You are in the driver’s seat here and can do what you feel is right.
I’m assuming your resignation was formally tendered? Then you should be all set unless YOU decide there’s something New and Interesting there.
…Dr. Boss might be in the lab Wednesday or Thursday to meet with us…
Might be? MIGHT be??? Mouse it sounds like, at best he’s just going to spit out some platitudes about how the lab will be okay, it’s just going through a transitional phase etc. If he was concerned one little bit about your resignation, he would have said something. He would have scheduled a meeting with you. Instead, he had to be cornered at home and prodded and prodded to maybe show up some time this week.
The junior researcher told you he might show up. That’s a pantload. If it was a real meeting, he would have more officially informed staff via memo or email, and not just told a researcher to tell everyone else.
Does he even know you’ve resigned? In your shoes, I would be tempted to ask if you need to attend this meeting at all, given your imminent departure.
I would not under any circumstances wait until the lab folds completely and catches you by surprise. You’ve already tendered your resignation to HR, I’d stick with that. As you’ve described it, your lab is crumbling. It is not worth the stress. You need to have a better work-life balance than what those losers can offer you.
Abandon ship! It’s thoroughly 100% justified.
While I agree that you probably should run like the wind, I would not blow off the meeting.
Go to the meeting. If asked why you are leaving, answer honestly and completely. However keep your emotions out of your answer.
If asked to stay, and if you say yes, it had better damn well be accompanied by a demand for a large raise. Say 33-50% more than you are making now.
Results of the meeting Dude’s a jackass.