A few weeks ago I asked for a critique of a job wanted post that I was going to put up on Craigslist. Apparently it was pretty awful. So I took peoples advice and came up with something that should be a lot better. What is your opinion of me posting this? (This is in Oregon)
Do you need someone to replace bad computer hardware or install new hardware? Do you need someone to troubleshoot software? I have experience and am A+ certified.
Do you need a network technician to assist engineers working with LAN or WAN networks? I have an Associate’s degree in network technology and I have my CCNA certification.
I love working with computers, networking equipment, and other computer peripherals. I am a very fast learner, take direction well, and love solving problems. So if you need an entry level IT person then I am perfect for the job. Just reply to this post and I will E-mail you my resume and cover-letter.
I live in Dallas but am willing to work as far as Portland or the Portland metro area. Thank you for your time and consideration.
So, is that positive enough? Do I do a good job of selling myself?
I’m confused. You have CCNA but are advertising yourself as an entry level IT person. If you are truly entry level (perhaps you got CCNA at a bootcamp), then sure. If you have more experience, I’d probably play that up and let the company decide what level you are.
The college courses I took for the Associate’s degree were part of the Cisco Academe and prepared me for the CCNA exam. But I’ve never held a networking job.
In that case, have you considered applying for desktop support positions at medium to large companies and then trying to ease your way into infrastructure via your education and enthusiasm? Also, unless Dallas and Portland aren’t the cities in Texas and Oregon (which is definitely possible, as there are many of each), respectively, that seems like an odd combination. Perhaps a simple, “I am willing to relocate” would suffice.
In that case, I’d probably not even mention that you live in Dallas, as I’m assuming most of the jobs that you’re going to find are in Portland. No need to have someone decide not to interview you simply because they think you might not like the commute. I have two people that work for me that have commutes of an hour or more, and I keep wondering when they’ll give up. One has been with me for years, so apparently it’s a non-issue for some.
I agree there’s no need to mention where you live. It’s like saying, “It’s painful for me to sit in a chair but I’m willing to if the job requires it!”
It’s also saying, “I’ll probably be late sometimes when the roads are icy or there’s a traffic problem.”
OK. I thought that knowing where I live would be helpful. Not only that, they’re going to find out anyway sooner or later. But if you guys think it will hurt me, then:
Do you need someone to replace bad computer hardware or install new hardware? Do you need someone to troubleshoot software? I have experience and am A+ certified.
Do you need a network technician to assist engineers working with LAN or WAN networks? I have an Associate’s degree in network technology and I have my CCNA certification.
I love working with computers, networking equipment, and other computer peripherals. I am a very fast learner, take direction well, and love solving problems. So if you need an entry level IT person then I am perfect for the job. Just reply to this post and I will E-mail you my resume and cover-letter.
Do you need someone to replace bad computer hardware or install new hardware? Do you need someone to troubleshoot software? I have experience and am A+ certified.
Do you need a network technician to assist engineers working with LAN or WAN networks? I have an Associate’s degree in network technology and I have my CCNA certification.
I love working with computers, networking equipment, and other computer peripherals. I am a very fast learner, take direction well, and enjoy solving problems. So if you need an entry level IT person then I am perfect for the job. Just reply to this post and I will E-mail you my resume and cover-letter.
I’ve been withholding comment because while I’m not comfortable with its style, for all I know that style could be wonderful and effective. I don’t have experience with or relevant knowledge of said style, and don’t know if my opinion is likely to be of any help.
That said, I’ve decided to share my opinion, for what it’s worth.
The “Do you need…” approach turns me off. It seems unnecessary, overeager, and too damned cute. The prospective employer knows what he needs (or what he thinks he needs), and nothing is accomplished by your asking the question. “If you need…” is a slight improvement, but again states what I would think is already in the mind of most employers, and thus likely a waste of words. (Now, if someone didn’t really grasp what they needed until they saw it spelled out by you, that’s a different story.) I’m inclined to think “I can do this, that, etc.” is a more professional sounding way to present yourself.
Saying “I am perfect for the job” strikes me as braggadocious. Saying “I believe I could do an excellent job of this, that, etc.” sets better with me – less boastful, more aimed at the employer’s needs.
“Just reply to this post…” comes across as too folksy (= not professional in tone, perhaps suggesting a lack of capacity to perform professionally). My suggestion is “Respond to this post to request cover letter and resume.”
I am A+ certified and have experience troubleshooting PC hardware and software problems.
I have an Associate’s degree in network technology and I have my CCNA certification.
I love working with computers, networking equipment, and other computer peripherals. I am a very fast learner, take direction well, and enjoy solving problems. So if you need an entry level IT person then I am perfect for the job. Respond to this post for my resume and cover-letter.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I left the “if you need” because it’s just letting them know that I’m available if that’s what they need. I also left the “I am perfect for the job.” part because you have to distinguish yourself. Employers don’t want someone who is just OK, or good. They want someone who is perfect for the job. Now of course just saying I am doesn’t make me so, but it shows that I am confident in my abilities.
