Of course I am simplifying a bit. I personally know a few traders and they are making big money, but they spent years working in the back office, then a couple years as assistant traders before becomming full traders. All of them have advanced degrees. They deal mostly with derivatives and from what I understand it requires a great deal of complex modeling. Most of the want ads I saw wanted a PhD is math or similar discipline. The “giant balls” comment was made by one of my trader acquaintences. It still strkes me as a profession requiring a certain amount of confidence (but not recklessness).
Pretty much with any profession, to earn the “big money” requires a lot of hard work, talent and luck. There are very few shortcuts.
You described yourself as a bum. I think that means you may already be qualified to work as a salesman. I have worked closely with salesmen in a number of jobs. They can make very good money – $100K plus salaries in firms where nobody else makes over $30K, excpet the very top managers.
Sales takes exactly the same skills that asking strangers for spare change on the street does. You just dress better, ask specific people for the money and ask on behalf of a third party rather than yourself.