C’mon people, nobody here has mentioned Parking Inspector?!?
What kind of sick and twisted individuals are you, that you’d willingly subject those close to you to the shame that comes with being related to such a slight on humanity?
Damn you deceptive stop button!! :smack:
My former neighbor was a pediatric oncology nurse and said that while most of the cases were heart-breakingly sad, every once in a while there was a real success story and that made up for all the bad days. I couldn’t do the job.
I saw a episode of Discovery a couple months ago and it followed a man who dives in the sewers of some huge East Asian city working on pipes, unclogging connections, etc. I could do a lot of things before I donned a diving suit and went into the sewer.
C’mon people, nobody here has mentioned Parking Inspector?!?
he he
This was actually my career goal and part of my 10 year plan before I decided to put things on hold and join the Army. Listening to the detectives at the academy had me convinced that there was no better thing I could do with my life than investigate “Persons Crimes”-- rape, homocide, and child abuse.
Let’s see… been taught to pull teeth, just haven’t yet had the pleasure. Squishy bits? Chest wounds? Been there, done that.
Rubystreak:
Mortician or Coroner – I actually applied as a Diener for the County Coroners office, for a part-time job. Apparantly, it’s a HARD job to get into. There’s like almost a zero turnover rate. So people really must love it.
Homicide detective – Covered that.
Butcher – I agree.
Slaughterhouse worker – Yup. I’d hate my life.
Sanitation worker – Agreed.
Anyone who has to clean toilets in bus stations – LOL. Picture a kid in 1st grade saying this is what he wants to be when he grows up.
ER doctor – Been there. Well, not as a doctor… but I just can’t get enough of the ER environment. I freaking love it! It didn’t take too many intubations or chest tubes to figure out that I didn’t want to investigate Child Abuse and homocides anymore. . .
Couldn’t agree with you more!!! In college, some telemarketing company was advertising like “11 bucks an hour plus commission” in the campus paper. I couldn’t pass that up, right? I showed up, and they put me to work almost immediately. It was the shadiest bunch of bullshit I had ever seen. We were selling those damn Orlando/Carribean vacations and trying to convince the person they had WON the fucking thing.
I simply could NOT do it. After a couple hours, I actually felt dirty. After calling like a dozen or so people, I just got up and left. I could never be that dishonest to people, every freaking day of my life. It’s takes a special piece of shit to be a telemarketer.
vivalostwages:
Euthanizing animals– I’ve done dozens.
Man, I would love that job provided I was allowed to BASE jump from the tower after changing the bulb. That would kick ass.
dwc1970
Policeman– I think I covered this one already. Never swore in. I finished the academy, did two seperate internships, but I joined the Army before i was hired by an agency.
Telemarketer– I’m pretty sure I could handle the “pissing everyone” off part. It’s the out-right dirty lying to innocent people that I couldn’t handle. I just couldn’t live with myself if I did that.
Electrical lineworker– I think the ‘hazard to boredom’ ratio is too low for me. I couldn’t do something that dangerous if it was that freaking boring.
Slaughterhouse worker– Something about just not feeling like I was contributing anything to this world would make me go insane. Period. (No wonder I’m starting to go nuts)
Road construction flagger- Provided you’re talking about someone who ONLY does this, and isn’t actually a construction worker, then see above.
Lifeguard- Man, what an awesome job. C’mon, too hot?? What’s that mean??? That’s what the water’s there for. But I agree that “nobody would want to see my hairy, flabby physique.”
The person who has to put animals down at the animal shelter–I don’t know. I’m not sure if I could do this job. I’ve euthenized pleanty of animals, but there was a greater purpose involved with that. I’d hate to have to just euthenize a healthy animal simply because she didn’t have a home.
Social worker– I agree. And social workers can NEVER be right. If the remove a child, then they are evil bastards. If they don’t, then the child ends up hurt or dead and it gets all over the News… that sucks.
School teacher–Been there, done that. Well, I subbed. I actually really liked it. And it’s comforting to know that if I was ever seriously injured, there’s a decent job out there that I would enjoy doing. Teaching was a lot of fun and rewarding. It’s just not want I want to do with my life.
As for me… hmmmm.
Most Dopers will probably disagree with me, but I would have to add any job where I was couped up in a cubicle all day doing some tedious crap on a computer. Like on Office Space. God I could NEVER, EVER, EVER work in that kind of environment.
What’s a check out chick?
rjung, “check-out chick” is slang for the supermarket cash register operator. They ‘check out’ your items, and they are usually female (‘chicks’).
I paid my way through my first two years of uni as a check-out chick. It’s not that bad. Boring as hell, and you cultivate a healthy disrespect for the general public, but I didn’t find it soul destroying or repulsive (IMO).
Whoa…I just realized I glossed over the last job on earth I could do. A job so horrible scuba-gear sewer diving would be blessed relief. A job so despicable masturbating penguins and stimulating elephant prostates would seem like a day at the zoo [sic!]. A position so…degrading, that so exposes you to the inbred, half-sentient life forms that pass for human beings that one hour there makes you want to wash for a week and never go out again.
I could not work at the DMV.
No cubicles. No dress code, beyond nice, clean clothes.
No corporate offices, or anything requires a corporate mindset.
No retail.
No job that values the ability to deal with boredom more than the ability to think critically.
No job that requires dealing with the general public except on my own terms.
No job that is the same sh*t, day in and day out.
No job that mandates set office hours, or that I get up early.
No job that requires me to interact with others unless I feel like it.
Wow, I just realized that if my company goes under, I’m screwed. This self-employment thing has made me well nigh unemployable anywhere else.
Wet nurse.
Oh lord, I did do that when I was about 18, and did “lose it” several times. The lack of visitors wasn’t the worst, by FAR, thing that happened to them. Being older, there are many sanitary care issues which have to be done, lest they (especially the women) suffer yeast infections and such. THAT was heartbreaking, I can’t even describe how sad it was.
Even as a shallow 18 year old, the taking away of their basic dignity in this way was so sad, it FAR overrode any “gross out” factor that might have been present.
The one I worked in was a long term care facility, so it didn’t just have older people, but severely brain-damaged people as well.
Sigh…
I would NEVER do that again. I completely agree with the posts on children’s services and pet cruelty officers as well. I’d end up a mass murderer if I worked even a shift for those jobs. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I once took a job as a telephone collections guy. It was for some health spa and a scam. I hated telling some 19 year old girl that she should read things she signs and I’m going to ruin your credit and you’ll never buy a house.
I remember this summer when my wife died, I was in the room in ICU and the nurse was there and something happened. He said casually, “it’s going to happen any time now, Mr. Lee”, and then the line on the monitor went flat a few minutes later and he said, “It’s over Mr. Lee.” How he could have done it for as long as it must have taken for him to learn the signs is beyond me. I would have hung myself by now.
I trained as an ambulance dispatcher. It was a disaster. I have some filtering and attention problems and if I hear a lot of overlapping sounds at once I have no ability to filter them out.
It was a disaster !! I wanted it very badly, but it was a wreck. Ahh well. One cannot do everything.
Cartooniverse
People have said some pretty good ones, but the ones that really get my attention are the ones that are just so boring.
Walking through a parking garage in a nice town as a security guard. No one to talk to, nothing to read, your feet hurt at the end of every day…
Absolutely agree with geriatric or long-term care. I dropped out of nursing school (I wanted to be a midwife) because I could not handle the geriatrics rotation.
I could not be a school bus driver. Driving something that size would be hard on its own, but I couldn’t do it at ll unless there were at least two other adults on board keeping the little darlings in their seats and not beating one another up.
Every time I go to a fast food joint I thank god that I’ve never had to work at one.
FWIW I’m a nurses aide/orderly so yes, I think wiping bums is better than flipping burgers!