Jobs you wouldn't want to have

This isn’t the same thing as asking what’s the worst job you have ever had (this has been done). This thread is for jobs you’d never want to take in the first place.

Disregarding pay and/or other benefits (though you may factor these aspects in if they support your reasoning), what are the jobs that you would never want to do just because of what the job itself entails? I think many of us would agree that telemarketing would be a terrible job because of all the verbal abuse (to which I am a contributor) that they must put up with every day. Even without the verbal abuse, the task of having to make dozens and dozens of calls and rejections before finally making a sale would take its toll on me pretty quickly. I’d also hate to being doing something that I know pisses a lot of people off, especially when getting called at dinnertime.

I don’t think I’d make much of a repo man. A friend of mine does this and he gets a lot of satisfaction from towing away some “deadbeat’s” car. I have too much of a heart and I’d hate to think of how greatly this would inconvenience the owner. I know what this is like from the recipient’s side since it happened to my sister. She and her husband are hardly deadbeats, but yet because her husband got screwed over royally by his former business partner (key word “former”) by embezzling all the company’s funds and skipping town, they got stuck holding the bag and were eventually forced into bankrupcy. Sometimes there’s more to the story, but of course the repo man won’t know this or care. The guy who took my sister’s car came into her place of work and embarrassed her by being a total jerk while explaining to her what he was doing. Add to this the danger involved in getting shot by the guy whose car you’re taking away.

Because of the constant danger and constant exposure to the absolute worst of the dregs in our society, I’d never want to be a police officer.

I wouldn’t want to be a prison guard for the reasons given in TGWATY’s thread (my hat goes off to him for having done this difficult but necessary job in our society, hence the inspiration for this very thread).

I could never be a bill collector. This ranks up there with telemarketing, only instead of harrassing people to buy something you have to harrass them to pay up, and you have to be aggressive, and agressiveness isn’t one of my strong suits.

Just about any job that required me to work outdoors in the heat of the summer would not appeal to me. I hate being out in the sun.

I could never work on an assembly line, or do any type of work that involved the same repetitive tasks over and over, every day. I’d crack from boredom.

I wouldn’t want to work construction. I enjoy that type of work, like carpentry for instance, but on my own time (like on a warm, sunny day). I’d hate to have to do it when it’s freezing cold or blistering hot.

I could never be a politician.

Being a hospital orderly is definitely out of the question. Shaving pubes, cleaning up vomit, and dumping bedpans is almost as bad as being a politician.

Which reminds me that worst of all would be having a job as a janitor in a place that has peep shows. :stuck_out_tongue:

One day I woke up and realized that going to work one more time was more than I could stand. So I said, “Fuck this,” and quit. Best decision I’ve ever made.

So, in answer to your question, any job.

Alaskan crab fisherman, undersea welder, and convenience store clerk. They have a really high risk of fatality/injury and involve unpleasant environments.

Of course, for the first two you get paid the kind of money that compensates for it.

Anything that required me to keep close track of details and involved lots of paperwork would do me in, which would knock out tons of jobs, frankly. I could handle (although I wouldn’t want to) things like being a hospital orderly, but lock me in a room with bits of paper and I would wither.

[Margaret Cho] Hi, I’m Gwen. I’m here to wash your vagina.[/Margaret Cho]

Kleenex janitor at a triple X movie theater.

I mean at a normal theater, picking sticky crap off the floor is bad, but at a triple X

Crack whore. No, wait. Assistant crack whore.

Also, I kinda gotta pity whoever cleans the men’s rooms at football stadiums and the like. I’ve never been in one, but if you’re revolting and disgusting in my bathroom as a guest

And the waitstaff at family-owned ethnic restaurants always look like they desperately want to move to another continent far, far away from Mom.

I don’t think I could be a goat felcher. Despite what everyone keeps telling me.

I saw a picture once of a woman sniffing someone’s armpit. The article said that lots of people are official sniffers; they test the effectiveness of deodorants, mouthwash, etc. I don’t think I’d like that job.

I recently learned that a friend had taken a job so foul and disgusting, that I had never dreamt such a job existed. He has no attachment to it whatsoever, but only does the work because he knows he can quit, travel the country, come home, and still be hired back.

He picks up dog poop for homeowners.

Drives around in a truck getting high, wishing he were somewhere else.
He says cold mornings are the easiest, with the little wafts of steam…

He has been sad because his boss (and what kind of little Napoleon would THAT be?) is trying to get a contract to clean goose poop from an industrial park.


Pathologist…I mean cutting up bits and pieces does not look enjoyable, never mind the autopsies.

SDMB moderator.

chicken sexer. Guess where you get to put your finger to determine the gender of the newly hatched chicks?

In that case, let me add “chicken” to my list.

anal sack expression technician–a friend of mine took her dog to the groomers and the services of one “anal sack expression technician” was on her bill. An A.S.E.T. is the person who squeezes all the gunk out of the dog’s anal sacks when they’re getting groomed. As they say, it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. Just not me!:eek:

Being the guy who’s job it is to change the lightbulbs on the top of radio antennas and tall buildings.

I was just thinking of this today. There’s a guy who stands outside the credit union for hours, as “security”. He doesn’t have any weapons, so if someone tries to take him out as a precaution during the robbery, he’s woefully unprepared. But the other problem is the boredom. What do you do for the decades while that branch isn’t robbed? I think I can almost see his brains leaking out his ears as he stands there and tries to make a newspaper last.

Tunnel Walker in Tidewater Virginia walking back and forth in the tunnels all day to report stalled cars or other emergencies through air so thick with exhaust fumes …

Slaughterhouse employee. shudder Just the thought of looking at dead and soon-to-be-dead animals–much less killing them myself–makes me want to puke. And it isn’t as if I’m vegetarian or anything…but I’m sure I would be, after about an hour.

I’d also really hate to be that nurse in triache who has to take down your name and listen to you while you bitch about why you need to see the doctor more than anyone else, and why the hell is it taking so long…blah blah blah…dealing with sick people every day has got to be draining. (Not to mention, how often do they catch something from these people?)

Finally, I’d never want to be that guy working construction who has to wave the orange flag at traffic to indicate that it’s their turn to go. I just know that he either dies of boredom, or gets killed by some random moronic driver.

Either way, he’s so screwed.