Mermbership is open to those very lucky few of us out there who have been Robbed While Delivering a Pizza. That’s right kids, it’s the official I Was Robbed While Delivering a Pizza Organization. Prestigious membership benefits include but are not limited too:
[li]a laminated personalized membership card complete with statistics such as average delivery time and frequency of robberies.[/li][li]A padded nylon pepper spray can holder for improved grip and response time, if the need should arise[/li][li]and even a Mack 10, which comes in an assortment of colors and can even be monogramed at your request. It fits easily into your pizza bag.[/li][li]…and much, much more!!![/li][/ul]
I’ve been robbed three times in one month! And I only work two nights a week.
Of course there will be many other groups formed as off shoots of the I Was Robbed While Delivering a Pizza Organization, such as the I Got Shot For a Six Pack of Beer and No More Than $30 Club.
Hopefully, together, we can end this plague of schoolyard bullying that manifested on the playground and has now moved in to the real world.
I urge you, bust a cap in the ass of petty theft.
*Originally posted by steeljaw *
[li]and even a Mack 10, which comes in an assortment of colors and can even be monogramed at your request. It fits easily into your pizza bag.[/li][/QUOTE]
Hell of an idea, any bullets would go right through the pizza bag!
Might have trouble explaining what happened to the pizza though.
Were you really robbed?? Where at, if you don’t mind me asking. Ack! I used to be a pizza delivery guy and was always paranoid about that. Was it in your car, or was it a staged phony delivery to get you to a location suitable for robbery?
Your post made me laugh, but in all seriousness, that sucks. Sorry it happened. Hubby used to deliver pizzas and there were just certain neighborhoods that he wouldn’t deliver to.
I was really robbed. All three times in apartment complexes at night. The company instituted a no delivery after dark policy to these places, but… I guess they forgot to tell the people who take the phone orders. They keep placing orders and the managers keep making the drivers take the pizza and I guess my self preservation instincts aren’t up to par, so I keep taking them. I don’t want to miss the coveted ten dollar tip or naked chick answering the door. I was always robbed on the way to the apartment. Never ever lost any money though. My managers keep saying I’m not responsible for lost money. They could at least thank me. The perpetrators aren’t too smart though either. Never take more than the pizza. Never do anything. If I ever felt any real danger I would hand over all the money I had. I’m getting used to the routine though. Go to work. Get robbed. Go home.
You should (re)read the first chapter of Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. Might make you smile.
As long as you’ve got a wonderful new club, why don’t you pound some nails into it, so’s it has spikes?
Then, use your wonderful new club (with nails) to pound on the troublemakers.
Um, am I the only one who thinks that it’s really easy to catch people who phone up for a pizza, and then rob the pizza guy.
I speak from experience, having worked at the Hut for 3 and a half years. I always stayed in the restaurant though, and left delivery to my brother and other chumps.
I suggest sticking pins into the map you’ve got in the back indicating where you’ve been robbed.