An update…I just heard Jeff Foxworthy tell this joke on the Blue Collar tour.
It’s Father McGinty’s day to man the confessional. At one point, he has to go to the bathroom. It’s a #2, so he expects to be a while. He sees Timmy the altar boy and asks him to hold down the fort for twenty minutes. The priest tells the boy “Since they can’t see you, they won’t know they aren’t really talking to a priest. It’s usually just a bunch of old ladies anyway. If they confess to lying, give them three Hail Marys. If they confess to stealing something, give them five Hail Marys and tell them to return the stolen property. If they’ve had ‘wicked thoughts’, give them to say ten Hail Marys and an act of contrition.”
Father McGinty hurries away to the men’s room. Timmy sits in the confessional box, and an elderly lady enters. “Bless me father, for I have sinned,” she says “I’ve been getting fucked up the ass by my husband for several years now.”
Stunned, Timmy tells her to quietly think about what she did for several minutes, while he discreetly slips out of the box. Father McGinty has still not returned, but he sees Little Johnny, his fellow altar boy walking up the aisle. Timmy knows that Johnny has manned the confessional box in the priest’s absence before, so he rushes over to him.
“Johnny! Johnny! Tell me quick! What does Father McGinty give for getting fucked in the ass?”
Little Johnny replies: “Usually $25 bucks a pop. But he says that’s because I’m the best at it.”
I was sure the punchline to the OP was going to be…
We’re taking out a second mortagage.