What does Natalie’s death prove?
Wood doesn’t float.
I mentioned this one in the thread about old cars and post-millennials, but I realized it fits here, too:
Did you hear [insert state you want to make fun of] passed a law requiring all cars sold there to have the dimmer switch on the floor? They were having too many accidents caused by drivers getting their foot caught in the steering wheel.
That joke probably only worked around the time cars were transitioning from putting the high beam switch on the floor to the turn signal stalk.
Heard that from Ynnad, didn’t you?
I don’t get this. Natalie drowned and Grace was killed in a car crash.
Why, was he making jokes about Aldous Huxley? C. S. Lewis?
As alluded to before, AIDS stood for either “Another Infected D. Sucker” or “Anus Inserted Death Sentence” back when there was no cure and it was thought that only homosexuals got it. (I suppose Magic Johnson put an end to that.)
“Two in the front, two in the back, and x in the ashtray” gets recycled every so often (holocaust, space shuttle Challenger, etc.)
I think that “…O.J. is going to walk” is probably the most time-sensitive joke ever made. (I thought it was a period of days or weeks, but I looked it up and it was just a bit over 4 months. Still…)
A good friend of mine was sent home from work to change his shirt. This is a college educated electrical technician who somehow failed to realize that “liquor in the front, poker in the rear” was of questionable taste.
Princess Grace had a stroke behind the wheel of her car. A good stroke might have kept Natalie Wood from drowning.
Yeah, I know, same word, two different meanings. C’mon, work with me here.
I remember seeing this limerick in the men’s room many moons ago:
There once was a senator from Mass
Who wanted a nice piece of ass
He lucked up and found her
then fucked up and drowned her
Now she’s just food for the bass
From the National Lampoon mag:
“Senator from Chappaquiddick”
Someone posted a link above - his schtick was impersonating JFK
Aldous Huxley, C. S. Lewis, and John F. Kennedy all died on November 22, 1963.
The version I heard:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
O.J.
O.J. who?
You’re on the jury.
Whoa! Oswald was busy.
Oh, I heard of that dude. Didn’t he get fired for making a joke about hiring a “Jew and two cripples”, or something like that?
Watt famously banned the Beach Boys from performing at the National Mall on July 4,1983, declaring that they promoted drug use and attracted the wrong element. He later apologized after President Reagan and Vice-President Bush came out as fans of the band.
Woody Allen used the expression in Sleeper, in 1973.
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When microwaves first came out and everyone thought the speed with which they heated food was nothing short of miraculous, Joan Rivers made a fat joke about Liz Taylor, saying, “she’s the only person in the world who stand in front of the microwave oven and says, ‘HURRY!’”
When it was reported that Reagen would-be assassin John Hinkley Jr. was corresponding with Lennon assassin Mark David Chapman, someone remarked “Maybe Chapman can show Hinkley how to improve his aim.”
Dang. Ninja’d by 5 whole days.
That’s a joke that just keeps on giving. I first heard it about Princess Grace.