New Florida state motto: Come to Florida, where your vote counts. Again, and again, and again…
LAPD’s motto: “To protect and to serve.” They’re changing it to “We’ll treat you like a King.”
What are the scariest five words in Washington these days? “Dan, I don’t feel well.”
NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts.
On The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson once did a sketch where they were “retiring the Dolly Parton Jokes”, which they did in a skit where they threw out every Boob Joke they could. At the start of the skit they went to the Grave of Retired Jokes, where Carson read a few that had seen their day, like Euell Gibbons jokes and Tiny Tim jokes. Sadly, I can’t recall any of those jokes. All I can remember are the Dolly Parton gags.
And I really do think they stopped making those Dolly Parton gags after that. Maybe Parton said she wouldn’t appear on the show anymore if they kept doing it.
How do they know that Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the beach.
What do we need for a Beatles reunion?
Three more bullets.
What did the doctor find during Brooke Shields’ Pap test?
Michael Jackson’s other glove.
What’s wrong with the Clinton campaign?
Too much sex, too much Gore.
She used to be a social studies teacher, but now she’s history.
That was Vic Morrow, with a helicopter, in the bushes.
Here lies Vic Morrow…
Here lies Vic Morrow…
Here lies Vic Morrow…
May he rest in pieces.
Billy Mays died right after Michael Jackson?
I guess if the OxyCotin doesn’t kill you, the OxyClean will.
This just in. Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
Guess who just stopped smoking?
David Koresh.
I’m sure I’m about to feel like an idiot, but I don’t get this one. Can someone please explain?
Clinton to Quayle?
No, Bush (41) to Quayle. As in, “Uh-oh, Bush may die and Quayle may become President.”
The one I’m not sure I get is tdn’s in #8. Is the idea that one keeps finding new places where Vic Morrow lies, since he’s all in pieces?
Bush to Quayle.
In case you weren’t around or paying attention in those days, VP Dan Quayle was considered something of a joke. Compared to him, Sarah Palin was taken very seriously.
Yep.
In this thread, someone uses the old “didn’t know Paul was in a band before Wings” joke. But it’s a joke that really doesn’t make sense anymore, even as a joke, since I’m sure you’d be hard-pressed to find even the most pop-culture history challenged kid who doesn’t know who The Beatles were, while I’m sure you wouldn’t have to try very hard to find many, many young people who have no idea who Wings were.
Granted, even when the joke made sense, back in the 70s, I know it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously (it being a joke and all), but at least then, pretty much everyone would have known who Wings were.
Paul McCartney was in Wings?