Well, not the REAL Paul McCartney…
Of course!!
Yes, I was indeed around and paying attention; but in 2010, for the life of me I couldn’t think of any prominent Dans in Washington, past or present.
Just goes to prove the premise of the OP, I suppose…
How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change it, and two to argue about whether the new one is as good as the old.
How many Doctor Who fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - they just sit around wishing it would come back on
What is the World’s thinnest strip of beach?
Bobby Sands
This one is updatable, though, since it seems like no-one ever likes the VP.
EX: “Dick, I’m not feelin’ well.”
“Joe, I’m not feeling well.”
What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes?
Sammy Davis Jr. and Moyshe Dayan
You know, he’s just Biden’ his time.
Good point. Al would have worked. Sarah definitely would have worked. And Joe could have worked twice!
Listen to Burns and Allen or Jack Benny radio shows, lots of topical humour that doesn’t make sense.
Geroge) But Gracie I like dark meat
Gracie) Sorry George all the turkeys sold now-a-days have only white meat
George) How is that possible
Gracie) If they moved up Thanksgiving a week, you’d turn white too.
------>
Ray Noble) When Gracie get’s elected president, she can give you a job. Ask her to be Secretary of State
George) What would I know about that?
Ray) Well you look like Hull to me. (Cordell Hull was Secretary of State in the 30s)
Well, if sick jokes about celebrity deaths fit the category:
What kind of wood doesn’t float?
Natalie Wood
I feel dirty now.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and Fred Flintstone have in common?
A: They both look out their window and see Rubble.
Why is there no nitrogen in Ireland?
Because nitrogen is never found in a free state.
(That quip was only relevant from 1922 to '37, and I was born in 1959, but my elementary school library had some ancient volumes, including the joke book where I first encountered that pun.)
Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer escaped?
He was last seen headed to Waco with a 40-gallon drum of barbeque sauce.
Did you hear what Jeffrey Dahmer said to Lorena Bobbit?
“You gonna eat that?”
Let’s say we skip the jokes and just do punch lines?
- “Chicken Kiev.”
- “Boys’ Pants Half Off”
- “Astronauts in your tuna.”
- “See you later honey, I’m going out for a slice.”
- “Riding the Staten Island ferry costs an arm and a leg now.”
- “John Elway is playing the slow, white Bronco.”
What does McDonalds and the USA have in common?
They’re both run by a clown named Ronald.
OK, I’ll bite on a couple:
2. Why does Michael Jackson hang out at K-Mart
6. What famous athlete is in the OJ Simpson movie
3. has something to do with Challenger explosion
This one doesn’t work as well in print, but [del]is[/del] used to be fun aloud:
Q: What does Michael Jackson love best about twenty eight year olds?
A: There are twenty of them!
I don’t get it.
The date of Thanksgiving has been somewhat … variable.
But why would that cause someone to turn white?
From 2003:
What’s the difference between George Bush, Saddam Hussein, and Ariel Sharon?
Bush wants to finish off* Bavli*, Saddam wants to finish off Yerushalmi, and Sharon wants to finish off Shas.
(Okay, I know I gotta explain this one. The Bavli is the Babylonian Talmud, the Yerushalmi is the Jerusalem Talmud, and Shas is the combined term for Talmud and Mishna, and also an Israeli party).