There is the expression that one turns white as a sheet when scared (as turkeys might be when informed that their execution has been moved up a week).
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
“You’re in my son”
“This film has been modified from its original version: It has been formatted to fit your screen.”
But why would Geroge Burns turn white?
I guess she means, “If they moved Thanksgiving up and you were a turkey, you’d turn white too”. Or something.
What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left?
“You feed the kids, I’ll feed the fishes.”
What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken
Yes, in very poor taste, I know.
snicker
Yes, that’s exactly what she means. “Put yourself in the turkey’s shoes, and you’ll see why they’re white.”
Old one, from a long since obscure event (25 years ago):
What was Leon Klinghoffer’s last bar order?
2 shots and a splash.
Did you see the new Karen Carpenter album? Her picture’s on the side.
Do you know why Michael Jackson’s pants are so small? They’re not his.
How did (TV news reporter) Jessica Savitch die? Interviewing Natalie Wood.
What do you get if you cross a turkey and a chicken? A Quayle.
Nancy Reagan is proof that you can be too rich and too thin. - by Wendy Wasserstein
What do you call a dog wings?
Linda McCartney
Why didn’t Superman save John Denver?
Cause he’s in a wheelchair
Ah, what the hell, a few more:
What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite toothpaste? Aim.
What was the last thing Budd Dwyer’s wife said to him? “Don’t go shooting your mouth off.”
What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite food? Open-face sandwiches.
Was that supposed to be “a dog with wings”? Because I can’t make it make sense any other way.
I still don’t get it.
Was this related to something in the news where the date of Thanksgiving had changed? Because I would imagine that a turkey would be “white as a sheet” around Thanksgiving even if the date of Thanksgiving did not change.
P.S. Maybe the joke was made on the show in 1939; a quick Google search tells me that president Roosevelt changed the date of Thanksgiving that year to bolster the economy.
What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used?
A stroke
Incidentally, Robert Wagner did a commercial for Viagra when it first came out. I used to say, when I saw it, “Hi I’m Robert Wagner, and I haven’t had any wood since Natalie.”
When I was a kid I had a joke book that had the following joke:
What do you call a white man surrounded by 10 black men?
Quarterback.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 black men?
Warden.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 6,000,000 black men?
The Prime Minister of Rhodesia.
I definitely did not understand that joke at all, and it would not be until many years later that I did. I had never even heard of that country’s existence, prior to seeing that joke.
Yeah. A dog WITH wings. I even previewed it.:smack:
I’m guessing this was not the typical corny joke book written for children?
I need to hear another Bud Dwyer joke like I need a hole in the head…