It’s a hell of an incentive package for the CIO, though.
I loved my last performance review.
“Well, when you took over we were $95,000 in debt. One year later, and you’ve cut that to $40,000. Cool. I wish we could pay you more. You’ll get a big bonus when we sell the shop.”
Me: Look at the salaries. You have not paid me for 9 months. I kept the lawyers off your butts by paying them something instead of paying myself. I’ll get my back salary AND the big bonus.
“O.K., that works for us. By the way, every other shop in town is off by 30% post 9/11, and doing even worse after the war, how are you doing that well?”
Me: I fired both your kids, hired one person to do the delivery and stuff I can’t do, and I don’t waste product.
“Wow. Good deal. Thanks! And thanks for getting all the stuff to the accountant so he could get the taxes done and fix this packet for prospective buyers.”
Accountant: She did the packets. I just did the taxes.
“Wow. Cool”
We have a legit, capable buyer. Woo Hoo. The NEXT performance evaluation I get will be from my pillow!!