The full transcript is pretty gross. The part where Mr. Dean (I think an advocate for the kids) says, “I told you not to just be a stick in the mud, your dad asks you a question, you respond”—seriously? Is bullying them in court to love and understand their father going to foster anything but resentment?
I’m trying to understand the mocking tone towards the kids. If mom has poisoned them then they are victims too and are simply believing someone they trust. If the dad is the abuser the mom claims then the kids have a legitimate concern and shouldn’t be forced to break bread with someone who is abusive, no matter how safe the venue.
Either way the kids themselves have done nothing wrong other refuse a potentially unjust order by the judge.
Judges are hardly infallible. In the town we lived in until recently there’s been a tragedy of a father throwing his baby off a huge bridge and then jumping himself. The week before the judge denied a restraining order against the dad. The mom feared he’d hurt the baby. The judge had been with this case for awhile, knew the concerns, and still forced the mom to leave the baby with the dad for visitation. A week later baby was dead. So just because the judge has been involved doesn’t automatically make her smart or wise.
It has everything to do with blaming men when without knowing absolutely anything about the case you say things like “what kind of father would allow this to be done in his behalf” because he dared fight for his parental rights. Maybe he is an abusive monster and the mom was absolutely right in not fulfilling her side of the visitation agreement, maybe she has poisoned the kids against him and he is just trying to be a good father. Neither of us actually knows, but the fact that you immediately jumped all over the father like he is the one who personally sent his kids to jail says a whole lot of not very good things about you.
Although I know that if the choice was to let my kids be sent to jail or to back off and request mediation or therapy, I’d back off. It’s not a man thing, but perhaps the question is better stated “what kind of parent would let that happen?” Even if meant temporarily backing off until something could be worked out, yeah I’d give up visits for awhile.
He is their father. Using the word “parent” would have created the need for the awkward “his or her behalf,” so knowing the gender of the person behaving this way, I went ahead and used it. It has nothing to do with him being male.
You are completely missing the point.
Some people will only ever see how men are so oppressed even when the person everyone is condemning (well everyone except aceplace57 ) is the judge who is a woman.
Really? i even quoted what AnaMen said and you still say this?
I completely took AnaMen’s comment to not be generalized father bashing but comments about this parent who just happened to be a man.
Do enlighten me about what I really meant.
Yes, that is the freaking point. You can condemn the judge all you want since she was the one sending the kids to jail, but there is absolutely nothing other than your own inherent sexism that should make you blame the father as well. You have absolutely no way of knowing which side of that dispute is in the right and yet you immediately jump all over the dad instead of the person who you know… actually broke the visitation agreement and isn’t following court orders. It’s just hilarious how many people don’t realize they are exactly like dalej42 but for the other side.
Yeah, you’re so hung up on anyone even questioning the dad. It sounds like both parents are probably behaving badly. It has nothing to do with their genitalia. Has the mom poisoned the kids against the dad? Who knows? The judge thinks so but she’s hardly someone you believe. The kids say it’s the dad’s fault, the judge says it’s the mom’s fault.
From that you somehow got “people think everything is men’s fault” wtf where did that even come from? The main bad guy in this whole thing happens to be a woman but you keep ignoring that because someone questioned the dad’s actions.
You meant the judges actions are the dads fault because he is the one making a fuzz about getting to see his children, not the mother who is denying him that chance. If he would just suck it up and take losing his children like a man none of this would have happened. Did i get it right?
People? no AnaMen, because that is exactly what they posted. Seriously, how am i the one ignoring that the female judge is the one to blame and not the person who literally blamed the father for the judges actions?
Yeah I’m just going to go ahead and assume you’re the only one who got that out of what was said.
Once again the bad guy, oh sorry, the bad person is the judge who is a woman.
It’s like the second post, are people just skipping to the last page?
I’m not jumping on anyone. The judge is acting on the fathers behalf. If it were me and the judge was doing this presumably for my benefit I’d say “wait a minute, don’t put my kids in jail. Let’s find another way”. I’d say it to anyone who’d listen. I’d give up my visitation temporarily if need be. I’d rather that than have my little kids scared and alone in jail.
It’s not sexism. The father happens to be the parent who the judge is acting for. Everyone is wrong in this story except the kids, really. But this is something the dad could do to prevent the asinine outcome of young kids in jail.
Sure, and the mom could have done the exact same thing.
And she did, she tried to get the two younger kids to have lunch with their dad. They refused. The whole thing is a terrible situation. There’s nothing wrong with questioning the actions of both parents. It’s not sexism.
But it seems like you’re just waiting to pounce on anyone who says anything negative about men so there’s no sense continuing the conversation with you.
Obviously questioning the actions of both parents isn’t sexism, but instantly blaming the father without knowing a damn thing about the situation IS. It seems to me people are not happy when sexism is pointed out to them unless it affects women, lesson learned.