Yeah, 40% (2 people) of my team are out of the office and we’re still dead. The only ‘work’ I have is a couple of people asking obvious questions (easy money) and the occasional "um, could you look at this for a minute?’ stuff helping a co-worker.
I wouldn’t dream of being on the SDMB on a regular work day.
New kitties are awesome… until they decide that your pillow right above your head is their favorite place to sleep, and they knead on your scalp. Ouch.
This situation sounds like one of my absolute worst nightmares. Holy Christ - how did you do this without vomiting copiously? I recently had to remove a dead bird from our screened-in porch that had gotten stuck there while we were away. There were maggots coming out its eyes and even after I put it in a bag, they were crawling up and down the outside somehow. After I managed to dispose of it, I promptly ran to the bathroom and barfed everything up I’d eaten over the last three days. I couldn’t eat anything white for a while afterward.
Also, my kids got into an argument yesterday about who farted. Imagine if you will a 2.5 year old and a 6 year old yelling, “No, I farted!” “No, I did!” They’re both sitting on my lap, the stench is rising around all of us and it is clear to me that both of my lovely children broke wind. And they’re arguing about it, each trying to own the fart. On the one hand, I wish they would stop arguing! On the other, it’s almost impossible to speak without laughing hysterically. I’m in a bind and all the while the air around me is just putrid and I’m trapped underneath two squirming, arguing, farty little bodies.
I think the fart incident of July the 4th far outstrips last week’s argument about whether or not my daughter’s head was attached to her neck (she said it wasn’t; my son contended that it was).
Oh, something like that bird would have had me fighting to keep things down, if you know what I mean. But somehow this was a bit different, in that they were ‘clean’ if that makes any sense. It wasn’t anything oozy or messy or stinky, which is part of why it was so hard to figure out. I mean, it was pretty gross, just having them there, but in the heat of battle, so to speak, that was the least of it. I didn’t share daughter’s amusement, in the wee hours when she got a little punchy, at ‘popping’ them. We weren’t environmentally careful about cleaning them up, so a lot of napkins were used, after the initial sweeping and drowning.
Of course, at some point the cat managed to brush against each of us, which made us jump and yell, and I’m still a bit ‘crawly’, even today.
“I’m a cat; that’s my job.”
Heh - this creates quite the mind picture, of Alice camped out with a sniper rifle…
Happy Birthday, Alice!
Not cool enough. You’ll see me there with my vintage Zune, reading Kerouac and sketching in my name-brand Moleskine… with my Palomino Blackwing 602 pencil.
With no phone. Beat that, hipsters.
You should check the laws in your state. I think if you can prove it was caused by work, you can at least get it taken care of.
I’m sure that is what happened - cute kitten with obvious medical problem alone on the street? Swipe in a heatbeat!
Brain too hot to form coherent sentence…
…can someone else pit this heat for me?
Thanks! I wasn’t fishing (I swear!) but I’ll take it! 
I got a little lady boner looking at the picture of the perfectly sharp pencils. I love office supplies…
Dear asshole:
The next time you decide to turn left from the rightmost lane, could you do it after I’ve passed by and not when the nose of my vehicle is further along than yours is? You are so lucky I was just easing along in traffic and hadn’t decided to close that gap. And I really, really did not need that shot of adrenaline.
So it seems there was another round of short, intense thunderstorms while I was at work. All the blinking clocks tell me the power was out for some of that time. Somehow during all of that the motions sensor spotlight by my front door seems to have gotten fried. No circuit breakers tripped, nothing else is dead. They’re less than $40 at Walmart, but GRRRRRR…
I didn’t mean to ignore you…and its too late for me. I was all stabbity when I learned that I couldn’t get the 4th book, I emailed Christopher Fransworth and learned that the new one will be out soon. If he dies before its published, I will hate him forever!!!
I know how much you like having a cat around, so I’m going to offer up some suggestions…Get some Nature’s Miracle and HOSE the spots. Procure a blacklight and check the results. Consider a female, they don’t have as much history of marking as males. Or, get a kitten that has been fixed before reaching sexual maturity. Considering your work hours, this might not be a good choice and you won’t know what its purrsonality will be as an adult.
I love kittens, they are cuddly and adorable and totally squeee. I have a firm rule that any cat that I adopt for the rest of my life will be an adult. I will know what I’m getting and won’t come home to find my house destroyed because of a cute little kitten with excess energy and no sense.
I was joking about sending Steve along. He’s my problem. I guess he’s going to live his life in the gooshy food cage. He seems happy and sometimes while he’s eating, I can stick my finger in the cage and touch him. Often my finger doesn’t bleed much after doing that.
Eyes water at that loving prayer. I hope Jughead has been rescued by someone like us.
FUCK this heat!!! Its so hot that the asphalt is melting, the flipping repairs in the concrete are soft and I almost dropped my bike yesterday because my front tire got into a soft rut which almost pulled the handlebars out of my hands. My idiot cat was sleeping with his butt in the water bowl and when I woke him up, he ran inside and plopped himself on my bed. My waterbed that has had the heater shut off for a couple of months so that we can stay cool…so now I have to change the sheets and run the dryer which just adds heat to my home.
Did that help?
Yes. Thank you.
I am so glad it wasn’t worse! A couple of years ago, a girl did just that to me - except I was doing about 45 (the speed limit). In the lightning fast thought that flashed through my brain I added up: low car+raised Jeep with steel bumper= I’m going to t-bone this stupid bitch, my bumper is going to go through her window and I’m going to kill her. While she was not smart enough to check to see if anyone was coming up in my lane, the oncoming lanes were clear, so I tried to go around her. She hit me in my passenger side wheel and sent me spinning.
When the Jeep stopped I did the “all body parts present and working” check and got out of the Jeep to see how bad the damage was. I was furious and about to throw up from the adrenaline. Got around to the passenger side to see that the only damage was to my rim and tire - but the Jeep had ripped the front of her car off all the way back to the radiator!
Stupid twat tried to argue with the police officer ticketing her, saying she had her turn signal on! The officer congratulated me on my driving, agreeing with me that even though she was in the wrong, it wouldn’t have made me feel any better if I had hurt her.
It’s going to be 102 degrees on Saturday. I’m moving from an un-airconditioned second floor walkup to an un-airconditioned third floor walkup.
I have no idea what this is, or where it’s coming from, but something, somewhere at the back of the row of houses on my street is producing a constant high pitched whine. It’s loud, it’s persistant, and it makes it impossible to enjoy being outside. Yesterday, after weeks of soggy evenings, we finally had a nice sunny one- so I thought I’d sit outside with a book… but I forgot the whine. As soon as you open the door, you can just hear an EeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeEeeeeeee incredibly annoying noise, my housemate can’t even have the door or window open, because the eeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEE incredibly annoying noise is clearly audible from inside the house if she does.
I can’t work out where it’s coming from, so I can’t even go round and ask them to knock it off. I suspect it’s coming from something owned by on older person, as it’s pretty high pitched, and I’d imagine anyone even closer to it would have to be unable to hear it to not go insane. That doesn’t narrow the options down much though.
It’s been going for at least 4 days now.
HA HA HA HA HA! (Points at our 12-year-old otherwise-adorable calico, who sprays as much as a tomcat at times).
I sure have been looking forward to my vacation which starts tomorrow, although it was going to be challenging…driving straight from Florida to Colorado, with maybe a few roadside naps, then a brief attempt at acclimation before strapping on some weight and walking up a couple of mountains. Yes, challenging, but I was ready to try it.
So now I have the worst summer cold ever. I’m right at the part where all your snot burns and you cough until you gag. Also, I have to get a lot of work done today.
:smack: :mad: 
And shit.
You win.