Jupiter Ascending OPEN SPOILERS discussion thread

I saw this movie last week and watched it again last night (I am a sucker for anything with spaceships in it. Downton Abbey would be better with spaceships, for example).

I’m sort of surprised at just how low it scored with the critics - sure, the plot is sort of goofy and flat, but that can be said of a lot of movies that tried a lot less hard than this one.

It has been said that the Wachowskis have lifted bits from Twilight and other places - and maybe that’s true, but it’s not as if Twilight was particularly original, so maybe what we’re really seeing here is a pick-n-mix bag of tropes.

[li]The design of the spaceships (especially that they were not all one piece), the portals, the androids, some of the weapons and even the flying rollerskates[/li][li]Little touches like the crop circle. Goofy, but cute, and I like that they didn’t feel the need to hammer it home like they did with some of the other stuff.[/li][/ul]

[li]The continual bad-guy-switcheroo. It’s not bad to have a twist where we have to review who are the good and bad guys, but it’s bad to do it this often, and as limply as this.[/li][li]The planet Jupiter. Beautifully rendered for the distance views, but horribly misproportioned up close. Jupiter’s Red Spot is bigger than the Earth. If you were flying into it, you would see nothing but red spot when you got anywhere close - all the way to the horizon, which would be flatter. They made Jupiter look smaller than the Earth.[/li][/ul]

Lukewarm about:
[li]“We’re the reason you have legends about vampires”. Didn’t we do this already in one of the never-should-have-existed Matrix sequels?[/li][li]The premise that they need to farm humans for immortality juice. Makes very little sense, given the level of technology elsewhere on display.[/li][li]The repeated use of Will The Good Guy Arrive In Time? Once is good; twice is already getting tiresome - after that, it’s just predictable.[/li][/ul]

Actually, having written all that, maybe I can now see why the critics slammed it. I didn’t list many things I liked, that were important, did I?

My problem with it is that the planets seeded with human life, intended to be harvested at a future point, produce genetic copies of existing people in the galactic society SO OFTEN they even have a bureaucratic system set up to deal with it to the point of negating inheritance even.

Not only that all the characters, even the villain grew up in a culture where the genetic copy is treated as if it was the original person. The protagonist pretty much has “I’m not your mother!” as a catch phrase.

Knowing all this, they are still cool with harvesting planets without doing checking to see if any second comings are present?!

Yeah, also , didn’t they already do all that in Cloud Atlas?

They might have seen this as a feature rather than a bug. After all, the heirs were pretty unhappy when their mother’s duplicate appeared and they were forced to restore her property to her. They tried to kill her to avoid doing so. So they probably would have figured that killing off any theoretical genetic duplicates would have just been a bonus when they harvested a planet’s population.

I also saw it last night and I thought that while the production was top notch, the movie pretty much sucked. It felt like a TV show and the entire movie was season 1 crammed into 2 hours.

I look forward to Sense8 from JMS and the Wachowski Brothers, but this was a disappointment. This should have been the Netflix TV show.

I can’t wait for the RiffTrax to come out. :slight_smile:

The more I think about it, the more sense this makes. The movie was quite segmented, and because it was covered in a short time, each of the episode-segments was only touched upon quite lightly. The wedding should have been a half hour episode; the near-abdication too, and so on.

9.95 on the visuals. (Not including those of the divine Miss Kunis.)
0.05 on everything else.

You could run out of paper writing down the borrowed bits.

Channing Tatum’s entire performance: “Don’t forget next line. Don’t forget next line…”

The Honest Trailer did not speak highly of it.