Great big fucking hairy elephant dicks, with festering boils and genital warts!
I made dinner on Wednesday. Yummy! Tuna steak, grilled, on garlic toast, with mushroom and cream sauce. As part of the preparation, I had to crush one (count 'em, one) clove of garlic and apply to the bread. Now, not quite comprehending the ramifications of my actions (yes I have swallowed a dictionary), I decided to use my fingers to spread the garlic over the bread. Dinner was prepared, cooked and consumed, no problemo.
Cut to today, three fucking days later, and my fingers STILL stink of fucking GARLIC! Is this a special EVIL genetically modified garlic that you can never wash off? I’ve had six, yes SIX, fucking showers between perparing that meal and now, and the bastard smell is still there. Fucking cocksucker!
(this is my first pit thread ever, feel free to rate-my-rant, comments will be taken under advisement)
“No, no, put ICE on the gum, and then hit it with a hammer!” “No, spread peanut butter in her hair!” “Crunchy or creamy?” “I don’t remember… try both!” “You fools, you’re supposed to rub vinegar into the mix!” “Ew… my hair’s starting to attract flies!”
I know that they sell a stainless steel thing that you can wash with your hands that will take the smell off. I don’t know if it works any better than anything else, but it is small and compact and can be kept near the sink. Just for reference, they sell it at kitchen stores, such as Bed Bath, and Beyond. I can see spending the few dollars just for the convenience of having it around. Also works on onion and other cooking smells.
I mixed bicarb of soda with vinager in a stainless steel bowl - that was an interesting event in itself!
I don’t care what you say, there’s something sinister about garlic. Something that smells that pungeant doens’t belong on God’s green earth. On the other hand, it tastes nice, so I guess it evens out.
austen: Garlic press aquired, thanks for the tip.
Hey, I may be ocd, but I’m not having any weaklings (well not at the moment, anyway).
