Just damn good writing

So we have writing that makes you cry and writing that makes you moan. What about the writing that just makes you say, “Damn, that’s good,” examples where someone took an idea in their head and turned it into words so that when they came together you received their idea perfectly?

One of my favorite bits of prose is in the Terry Pratchett novel, Soul Music. Rock and roll is being born in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he describes the effect it has on people: (paraphrased because I don’t have the book, if anyone does, please post the accurate quote if you can)

"The guitar screamed like an angel that just found out why it was on the wrong side. It was music that made you pull all the switches and through all the levers and stick your finger in the light socket of the Universe just to see what happened. It made you want to ascend to heaven on stairs of fire.

It was Music with Rocks in It, running free…"

I get the ‘my god that was a good book’ feeling after reading On the Road and The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac. Kerouacs style is beautiful.
peace,
JB

Ender’s Game… Great great writing.

Darkangel.

Anything by Douglas Adams, especially in the first two Hitchhiker’s Guide books.

Cormac McCarthy.

Even translated, Milan Kundera.

Stephen Brust, esp. Phoenix Guards and Five Hundred Years After

I agree about Orson Scott Card.

Roger Zelasny (RIP) - ‘Rose For Ecclesiastes’ still gets me.

Zelazny. “The Doors of His Face, the Lamps of His Mouth” from the same collection. “Eye of Cat”. The man was amazing.

Seamus Heany, the translation of “Beowulf”. This has to be read to be believed.

Gaiman, American Gods. Just about anything, actually.

For sheer technical proficiency, Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice.

George Orwell is an author that can hit you in the gut with a single line, setting it up with the entire book. I remember my hair standing on end, literally — it was an amazing physical feeling. Animal Farm — “In his trotter he carried a whip.” 1984 – “He loved Big Brother.”

A piece of good writing that will always stick in my mind is one of the chapter endings from Ed McBain’s Downtown. In the space of four sentences, the hero

  • loses $200.

  • gets wrongfully accused of murder.

  • escapes from the back of a Chinese restaurant.

  • picks up a beautiful woman.

This is what action novel writing was meant to be. I worship those four sentences.

I was going to come in and mention Orwell. Damn, I was beaten!

Orwell has such simple writing, at first glance, but I’ll be damned to see anyone replicate it successfully.

A.S. Byatt - there are bits of Posession, and bits of her various short stories, which live permanently in my mind.

Chaim Potok - simple and understated.

Drusilla Modjeska - manages to say things that should be obvious in a way that makes them exciting and significant.

Carl Hiaasen. He’s been compared to Mark Twain for the power of his satires, but he’s also a damned good descriptive writer. I still cherish the passage (in IIRC “Double Whammy”) where the Florida governor describes some group (his opponents? organised crime?) as “not fit to suck the scum off a septic tank”. That phrase still makes me laugh.

Ed Bunker. Especially “Little Boy Blue”. He uses such simple, effective phrases. I read LBB and then wondered if he’d ever had to resort to using an adjective or an adverb throughout the entire book!

Paul Watkins. His first novel was nominated for Britain’s Booker prize, but that was 10+ years ago and his books tend to have a plot and action, and aren’t all about politically-correct angst-filled nothingness, so he’s not likely to get nominated again. (Is my bias showing? :D)

Ursula Le Guin. “A Wizard of Earthsea” has been my favourite novel ever since I read it in my adolescence.

Ray Bradbury. His prose sparkles to me.

Non-fiction? I always feel this way when reading P.J. O’Rourke. I know what you mean, as an amateur writer I read O’Rourke with a mixture of admiration and envy. He is very good at making tangled concepts clear, and an absolute master of the similie.

Some writers who do it for me:

Lawrence Durrell. Some of the descriptive passages from (for example) The Alexandria Quartet are stunningly beautiful. He rides a fine line with perfect balance, “vivid” prose never once tipping over into “purple”.

John Gardner (no, not the thriller writer!). Mellow, but very complex; a thoughtful writer who makes you think yourself, and one with a superlative command of mood. I think I’ve mentioned somewhere before that, if someone held a gun to my head and made me choose just one favourite book, Nickel Mountain might well be it.

E.R. Eddison. He wrote heroic fantasy in a deliberately archaic style, it should suck… but Eddison’s stately prose practically sings on the page.

Dorothy Parker. Acknowledged supreme mistress of the killer one-liner, she could keep it up at short story length, producing a number of perfectly formed masterpieces - some funny, some sad, some both at once.

Nabokov. Even more impressive when you consider that English was his third language. There’s a passage describing English professor Roy Thayer about three-fourths of the way through Pnin that I re-read frequently just for grins. Nabokov regularly pulls off feats of prose style that nobody else would even attempt.

Patrick O’Brian and George MacDonald Fraser probably don’t get the credit they deserve as pure writers, given that their best-known works are historical fiction, a genre that doesn’t get much respect generally.

Many of my favorite prose stylists are satirists or humorists; it’s nearly impossible to write effective satire without a superb facility with the language. You see it in Swift, Twain, Bierce, Waugh, Tom Sharpe. But you also see it writers of humorous prose without the satirical edge, Wodehouse being very nearly the Platonic ideal.

dylan thomas. i’ve read “under milkwood” four times, and still find phrases that make me gasp when i hit them.

believe it or not, i love clive barker’s writing style. he comes up with the strangest, most amazing ideas, gives them names that he makes up and that describe them perfectly, and then goes on to describe his creations in such a way that you can actually see it.

i second carl hiaasen.

i just finished reading “the virgin suicides” by jeffrey eugenides(probably spelled wrong), and was struck by the way he can turn a phrase. at one point, he describes one of the sisters lying by the pool and “sweating ambrosia”.

Salman Rushdie, esp. Midnight’s Children. The guy takes a metaphor and just runs with it. A master of symbolism, and he really knows how to turn a phrase. An English undergrad’s wet dream. Also, his cameo is the only thing that makes me glad I saw Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Anything by Tim Sandlin, particularly his trilogy that starts with “Skipped Parts”.

Christopher Moore and Carl Hiaasen.

Jay McInerny’s “Bright Lights, Big City”

Passages of Huxley’s “Brave New World”: “Her skin had the posthumous quality of white marble.”

I’ll also second Potok. I have a first edition of “My Name is Asher Lev” my wife picked up for me on a business trip to England, and it’s one of my prized possessions, since that book always makes my top 10 list of 20th Century favorites.

This is one you may never have seen before. It being untitled, and obscure, I figured that it would be better for me to post it for your reading pleasure.

I am listening to my favorite song right now. Louis Armstrong’s “What a
Wonderful World.” I have come to the realization that this world is only
wonderful if you make it that way yourself. Fate, The Benevolent hand of
God, Destiny, whatever you want to call it, is only good for giving one the
chance to make it wonderful. The ability to make your life wonderful comes
from effort and outlook.

I was at a “Personal Care Home” this past Sunday, doing some freelance
work for Doug, a close friend of mine, who works as a maintenance man
there. Good money, easy job; just the way I like it. We had quite a
morning, being the witness to a pretty bad accident, and I was questioning
existence in general. We watched as a car veered off of a curve and
struck a utility pole. I began to think, “What is the point of trying
anymore? Even if I do achieve my goals, and get everything that I need,
what is to say that something will not just ‘happen’ and take it all away
from me? What if a horrible circumstance pops up, and everything I worked
for just disappears?” Needless to say, my mind was rife with negativity.

Doug and I were busy laying new cable in a raceway that ran down a main
hallway. It is mindless work, and my mind wandered and sank deeper into
negativity. I just wanted to give up. I wanted to let life take me where
it would, and stop trying to make myself happy.

“Hey Jay, remember ‘Slim’? The Race car driver?” Doug asked me.

How could I forget Slim? When I was a child, there was a small dirt oval
racetrack nearby. Like most small tracks in small towns, it had its share
of local celebrities. Everyone knew who the best drivers were, and people
flocked to the track to see them race each Saturday. Each year, my father
and I would go to the races every Saturday to see our small-town heroes
fight to see who the best driver was. It is one of the few memories of my
father that I still have.

The track sponsored a fan club for the kids each year. The club was free
to join, and at each intermission, they drew a name from the list of
members, and the winner got to ride a lap with the driver of their choice.
At the end of the season, all the children whose name had not been drawn
during the season, was allowed to line up on the infield for to go for a
lap with their favorite driver. It was a consolation prize, so to speak,
and it also ensured a large turn out for the last race of the season.

The first year that I joined the club, my name was not drawn during the
normal season, and so walked myself down to the infield at the intermission
of the final race of the season. I lined up for my favorite driver. It
was the number two car of Jonny Deuce. Deuce was a track favorite, and,
therefore, all the kids wanted to ride with him. I looked around, and
realized that I was the last in line for him.

I was a bit hard-headed and hopeful, so I stayed in the line. Time
passed, laps went by, and soon, the time ran out, along with my chance for
a lap. Or so I thought. It seemed that Mr. Deuce didn’t want to give any
more rides to the children, he thought the fuel he was using wasn’t worth
it. The other drivers were done with their rides, and had all gone into
the pits. The disappointed children (there were three of us) began our
walk back to the grandstand. I thought that this was just how life was. I
wait, and disappoint rears its ugly head, again. Yes, I was cynical as a
child, too.

Out of the pits came a car. It was the number six car. The driver was
known only as 'Slim" to the fan club members. He was a bit of a celebrity,
but not as big as Deuce. However, what he lacked celebrity-wise, he made
up for with his heart. He drove out in front of us three ‘leftovers’ and
offered a ride. The other two children turned him down. They wanted Deuce,
and were not going to settle for a second-rate driver. On the other hand,
I just wanted to be in one of these cars. I wanted to know what it felt
like to take a lap around the track. I happily accepted.

The lap came and went. I was somewhat reserved as a child, and as much as
I wanted to ask him for his autograph, I just didn’t have the guts. This
man was famous to me. He was bigger than life. I just figured that maybe
I would have the chance to get his autograph at some other time.

The next few years passed, and I grew up. Things changed, and the
opportunity to get this wonderful man’s autograph never came up again. I
had forgotten about it completely until Doug brought his name up.

“Yeah, I remember Slim. Why?” I replied to him

“Watch your toes, here he comes…”

I turned around to see this man in a wheelchair speeding up the hallway,
making car sounds. It was Slim, all right, but I didn’t remember him
having wheels.

I asked Doug what had happened to him. It seems that a few years ago, he
made a mistake. One night, after a race, he was apparently still in race
mode on the way home. On a dark country road, he lost control at around
100 miles per hour, and plowed into a tree. He had just a lap belt in his
car (it was a restored GTO, built before shoulder harnesses) and his head
hit the steering wheel. He was paralyzed from the waist down, and he lost
a lot of his motor skills. He still had his intelligence, though, and, by
the way he was moving up and down the hallways making engine sounds, his
imagination, too.

One simple mistake. One bad judgment call. He had lost everything in a
split second. I started feeling how unforgiving this world was. This man
was not even forty, and here he was, in a “personal care home”

We finished the cabling, and decided to take a break. The Wheeled One
found us, and started talking to Doug. They were discussing the NASCAR
race that Slim had just finished watching. I sat and listened in, sipping
from my can of Ski.

When the conversation began to thin, Doug decided it was time to go back
to work. I am not sure what it was that made me say something, but I did.

“So, you’re Slim! The guy who used to race at the speedway, right?”

“You are…?” was his reply.

“Jay.” I stuck out my hand for a shake.

He shook my hand the best he could. He seemed genuinely happy to meet
someone who knew who he was. We sat and talked about the old days. He was
full of stories. Funny ones, sad ones, and just plain ones with no point,
whatsoever. I listened and soaked in his memories. He was glad to share
them.

It was time to get back to work, and Slim could tell by Doug’s impatience.
He looked at me as though he still had something left to say. He did, and
he said it.

“Jay, you seem uncomfortable.”

“Disillusioned, actually, Slim.” I told him. “But, I’ll get over it.”

“Unhappy.” He said. “Jay, happiness comes from within. Everyone has the
power to make themselves happy, no matter the situation.”

“But what about you? You had it all taken away in a split second…” I
stopped because I realized that I probably sounded rude.

“I love racing. Always have. When I was young, I told my parents that I
needed my own wheels, so I could race all day and all night. This wasn’t
exactly what I meant, but I sure got them. My own wheels. I race all day,
up and down these hallways. Some of the more spirited guys race me,
sometimes. We see who can run over the most nurses. I made it my own
paradise.”

“You gonna sit all day, or are you gonna earn your check?” Doug interrupted.

“Slim, I have to get back to work, It was nice meeting you”

He shook my hand, and I began to walk away. A lone thought went through
my head, and I turned around.

“It is a long story, and I am a little embarrassed to ask, but can I have
your autograph?”

It is barely legible, and in pencil, but I believe that it is the most
valuable autograph in my collection.

I gotta go again with Barbara Kingsolver:

“Pain reaches the heart with electrical speed, but truth moves to the heart as slowly as a glacier.”

S. J. Perelman. One of the funniest writers of the 20th Century. As deft at turning a wry phrase as anyone on the planet. I used to think Woody Allen was the funniest writer around. Then I read Perelman and realized that Woody wanted to be Sid when he grew up.

Also, among contemporary humor writers, Dave Barry just makes me laugh out loud. Not only his newspaper column, but his humor books, and also his first novel, Big Trouble. In it, he creates people and events that have no business being together, but he puts them together and makes the reader believe it. He can say all sorts of absurd things, but still make them plausible. And that’s the mark of a real humorist.