You wake up and you are strapped to a chair in a room (think interrogation room from a police movie: nothing in the room but a chair, a naked lightbulb and a one-way mirror on the wall facing you). A voice tells you that you have one hour to justify your existence to the “him” (that is, convince him that you are worthy enough to live). If you have not done this appropriately, the floor will be dropped out from under you and you will fall into a tub of sharks who will then eat you.
You know the following:
The only way to escape is by being let go. There are no entrances/exits aside from the aforementioned and no one will come to save you, or ever find out how you disappeared if you are dropped into the shark tank.
The interrogator is telling the truth: you will be saved if you can convince him of your worth and you will be dropped into the shark pit if you can’t.
You have no idea what basis the interrogator will judge you on.
There is a clock counting down the time visible to you. (Because I know someone will ask, the clock is neither fast nor slow, and counts down a full hour from the time the interrogator stops speaking)
My question:
How does one try to justify their life?
Begging and pleading will likely not work but I think at some point everyone will succumb to it.
Does one mention things they will do when/if they are freed (“I will start working at the soup kitchen”)? List the things you have done to help people? Act indignant?
I can’t think of what I’d do in this situation (well, aside from cry). For every “tactic” I can think of, I can think of a reason for it to backfire just as easily.
“I don’t have to justify myself to you. If you want to kill me, then just do it.”
…'Cause I figure I’m not even good enough at rhetoric to convince someone that the sky is blue, especially when I’m under stress. That, and the whole situation would probably have kicked lingering depression into overdrive, AND I’d be pissed off.
Well, I’d probably start by telling the stranger a bit about myself, how I grew up, my education, my family and friends, and then I’d move on to a new topic. Granted, I’m not in any great disposition, niether career wise, intelligence wise, or even in the physical sense, I do have plans that I feel would be productive to the common people. I’d admit that although I have little sympathy for the masses and their lives (or lack therof), and that that’s probably where I got my morbid sense of humor from, I do care a lot about issues. Ironic eh? I would tell him my plan to install appreciation for knowledge into people. I would run an organization that would be just like a church, but not religious based. Every week, I’d write and give a speach/arguement about something, anything, educational. History, physics, philosophy, literature, psychology; every week I’ll talk about something like this, and every week, the presentation will be entertaining, funny, and interesting. At the end of the presentation, people will be given a chance to come up to the mic and dispute whatever point they feel is untrue, or just to further explain something.
I’d explain what the benefits of this would be, and I’d beg to be given the opportunity to go through with my plans. I’d acknoledge that I don’t posses the talent and education to do this in the “now”, but that I am working hard to become as smart and funny as I have to to get to this point.
There’d not be any point in even trying as I’m not noteworthy in any regard and, even if I were, I’m not masterful enough a debator to justify my need to exist.
I think I would try to go global on this, and focus my presentation (can I use powerpoint?) on why all human beings have worth and potential. I would also try to stress that different people make different types of contributions to the world, and that comparing the contributions of, say, Jonas Salk, to the quality of life of many people to the contributions of a devoted parent to the quality of life of one child is like comparing apples and oranges. Who is to say that the loving parenting of Jonas Salk’s mother didn’t directly contribute to his desire to do research? (NB I know nothing about Jonas Salk’s mother). Some actions that might seem small or insignificant now could end up having a big impact in the future, and the connection might not always be apparent immediately. Anyway, I would try to keep it broad and philosophical, because I think it would be too easy to pick apart the smaller examples of personal worth.
“I live, and life is a thousand infinite possibilities. I live, and I have the potential to do something incredible. You’ll never find out if you kill me now.”
“The pains and joys you have felt throughout your life? I have felt them. The hopes and dreams you have had? In my way I have had the same hopes and dreams. The love you have felt for another? I have loved someone equally. The dispair at injustice you have undoubtably felt? I have felt this same dispair. The doubts you feel now? I, too, have felt these same doubts. Everything that you have thought of, in some manner has also been thought by myself and countless others. We are the same creature, following the same path towards the same immutable destination.
Justify yourself to me, and you will have my answer.”
“Justify myself to you? And who made you the arbitrator of what is and is not a worthy life? In fact, by your very arrogance in doing so, you have already proven yourself to be far inferior to me. So bite me, fanboy.”
Some years ago, I was taking a walk through a meadow. At one point, a monarch butterfly fluttered under the foot that was about to hit the ground. With no time for thought, I flung myself aside and to the ground, sustaining a sprained wrist and various scrapes in the process.
When I was in college, I was a friend of my now wife. What prompted me to first ask her to date was that one day I noticed that she was looking very sad and worried. When asked why, she confided that she had found a lump in her breast and was going for a mammogram the next day. My first thought was that no matter the sadness that I might risk that she was to fantastic a person to not know better, especially if time might be limited.
These are two simple examples of the innate goodness that is a part of who I am, which should not be discarded from this earth. Especially given all of the ugliness and hate in the world.
Most likely, I’d start making fun of the whole situation, then branch out into other topics. I’m something of a wiseass anyway, and I figure my best tactic would be to amuse the guy, in the hope that he’ll let me live simply because I entertain him!
“You’re a funny guy, Sully… I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”
–John Matrix, “Commando”
In view of the OP’s specific statement that we don’t know WHAT basis is being used for judgement, I find it interesting that all the attempts so far to create a justification follow a common thread. Granted, it’s nice to see that people tend to share a warm-hearted and public-spirited idea of what justifies their lives, but still…
This reminds me of that episode of the mid-1980’s ‘Twilight Zone’ remake in which an alien comes to the UN and announces that humans are a grave disappointment and must be destroyed. The humans beg for a chance to prove themselves, and are given 24 hours. The humans use the time to develop the most comprehensive plan for world peace in history. Upon his return, the alien examines it, laughs, and says “We breed warriors”. The starships move into firing position as we fade to black.
The only course of action I can see in this case is to act like you can’t hear the voice - if you do this convincingly, your interrogator will start to wonder if there’s something wrong with his microphone, and eventually will wonder whether you are deaf, in which case he will have to test the hypothesis, potentially allowing you an opportunity to escape.
Alternatively, you could struggle, knock the chair over, and feign injury or unconsciousness with the faint hope that your interrogator will investigate, allowing you the opportunity to take him out.
Failing that, anything you can do to break or otherwise cause the light bulb to extinguish will require intervention, and if there’s any way you can do this suddenly, you might be able to see through the one-way glass if it is lit from the other side, providing you with further information to a means of escape.
If the chair is at all mobile, shuffle it to a position whereby it either can not fall into the tank, or at least could jam in a position which doesn’t let it fall. If you can fall onto your back in such a manner, you might just be positioned such that the sharks will jump to bite you, taking a chunk out of your arm, but possibly severing your binds. Once you are free, throw the chair through the glass and proceed.
Finally, if you know you’re going to die when the clock runs out, the obvious solution is to stop the clock. Find the cord and try to unplug it anyway you can.
They could start by singing this: Your bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
No seriously, I hate Timberlake. And I just copied and pasted the lyrics.
Sighhh… the things I do for a cheap laugh.
"Dude, there is a really big spider on your shoulder. No, you’ll never be able to reach it. Let me get up and I’ll smush it for you. "
Seriously, I would probably start trying to sway my captor with tales of my contributions to humanity. I hope if I ever end up in that situation, I’ll have made some.
