Used to say to the Err Apparent, hey, you party, you get offered a ride home from somebody who has had a few but is perfectly fine, call a cab. I’ll pay for it. I’m all done making babies, you’re it. I can get more money.
Kayla obviously can’t handle the responsibilities of owning a cell phone.
Get her a bowling ball instead.
I think if that happened at my house, I would take it as a sign and cancel the DirecTV, saving myself about $75/month. I think I’d be happy for a while without the big screen hanging on the wall. I pay for programming because I already had a TV, which I bought because I was on a 2 year contract with Comcast, etc. The kids would moan for a while, but they’d get over it.
“Sweetie, this never would have happened if you weren’t so fat in the first place.”
But seriously, it’s just stuff.
Hey! Now that’s thinking like a litigious American.
Kaylasdad99, have you thought about suing the TV manufacturer for the tv you got for free and got smashed when a cell phone went hurdling into it?
Dude, you are evil 
We have two stock phrases whenever our 2-yr old grandaughter stays with us and breaks something.
“That is why we can never have anything nice.”
“That, young lady, is coming out of your college fund.”
Both of which go straight over her head but gramma and I chuckle. Hey, no flesh or blood spilt, then it’s just stuff.
“Children respond inadequately to veiled threats and sardonic humor.”
- Fran Leibovitz, Metropolitan Life
Ta.
But to tell you the truth, I thought I was set for life with Best. Daddy. EVER. points when she was eleven, and I got Joey Fatone to call her up at home. I REALLY COULD have been satisfied standing pat with those ones.
Oh wow!! I hope you got pictures of her face when she answered the phone!!!
Couldn’t. I handed the phone to Joey and told him which speed dial number to use. kaylasmom is blind and doesn’t take photographs. I was at a rehearsal space in Hollywood, getting trained up to be on a reality show.
So, I just have to content myself with memories of the hug I got when I came home.
What the WHAT?!?
If it was a Nokia, it’s fine.
It was The Singing Office. See this thread.
My team didn’t win, (although the episode did bear a resemblance to a specific episode of The Simpsons. And the show was not picked up for a second season (most of TLC’s programming that summer turned out to be non-stop episodes of Jon and Kate Plus Eight).
Also, two days before they taped our segment was my last day at that job. The day after our performance, I went to work for the USPS, making more than double my former hourly wage.
I’m more wondering how one is “trained” to be “real”.
For certain values of “real”, Zebra.
“Heyyy… this is Joey Fatone!”
“My dad’s not here.”
“No… this is Kayla, right? I’m calling for you!”
“Who is this again?”
“Joey Fatone! From 'N Sync!”
“…”
“The FAT one, okay?”
“Ohhhh! AIEEEEEEE!!!”
I’m completely mystified by the OP. How can you not hate someone who broke a 59" TV and risked breaking a cell phone? Why is this beast still alive? You need to call animal control immediately!
Don’t ask? You must be kidding. I have to ask! How do you melt a hole in the waterbed in the middle of the night?
I hope the answer doesn’t involve friction.