Kids pulling a cat carrier on a skateboard behind their bike. Should I investigate?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m frittering around on my computer and I hear a vague rumbling.

SkrererererererererereEREERRRERERERE!

I peek out the window and I see the two ten-year-old neighbor boys on their bicycles. One is towing, via a short length of rope, a hexagonal plastic box duct-taped to a skateboard.

I roll my eyes and mutter something to my dog about the school year not starting soon enough for me.

SkrererererererererereEREERRRERERERE!

Great, they’re doing laps around the block.

Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t that a cat carrier?

Fantastic. Now I have exactly one lap to decide whether I want to get involved in this. The mother of these two (and five other children of varying ages) is viciously over-protective of her brood.

A few weeks ago a neighbor (the sweetest little old lady) complained to her about one of her little spores smashing the asphault of the street with a golf putter, sending chunks of high-speed gravel careening into walls and parked cars. Little Old Lady was just worried that one of the kids would lose an eye to shrapnel, but Brood Mother just tore into her, telling her NOBODY TELLS HER HOW TO RAISE HER KIDS!

Same result when another neighbor complained about the “skidding contest”. The boys were revving up their scooters, picking up speed, then smashing on the brake to see who could make the longest big, black rubber skidmark – on his clean white concrete driveway.

… and I mean, maybe the cat likes to travel?

((Sigh))

Here they come again. If you never hear back from me, bury my screen name on Wounded-Knee.

2

Go outside to see if any poor creature is in there. If so, stop them immediately and call the cops. If not, go back to surfing.

3

I second that motion, UncleBill.

bella

4

Kids stopped, cops called. It’s gonna’ be a looooooong day.

5

Yes. Definately check it out. Children are notorious as delinquents. Of course they are the reason for the term juvenile delinquent. If they really have a cat in the carrier take a stop them, talk to their mother, and regardless of what the mother says report them to the local chapter of the SPCA.

6

Ok, so what happened with the cops?

7

Jeffery Dahmer liked to torture small animals, too.

You did the right thing. Let us know how it goes.

8

Okay, so I head out the door and see that three other neighbors have the same idea I do, and are waiting for the kids to head back this way. We get in front of them to make them stop, which they do – a little too fast, so the carrier smacks into the rear tire. Thump!

“She likes it” they plead.

Little Old Lady confiscates the cat carrier and shuttles it into her house. Me and the other two spill some bile at the kids and learn mom’s at work and they’re in the sound care of their sister, who I think is sixteen – and at her boyfriends. Nifty.

At that point the cops arrive and I quietly dissappear. The others know more of the story than I do, and evidently a skateboard ramp was involved at some point – I just don’t want to know.

9

M E M O R A N D U M

To: Self
From: Self
Date: August 8th, 2002
Re: Suburbia

Do not move there.

10

So…what was in the carrier, and is it…okay?

11

Well, I hope they like getting fucked up the ass in juvie hall.

12

Um, ew. I don’t think that was called for WSLer.

But yeah. Those kids are screwed up. Maybe it would be better to have them parked in front of a TV instead of messing around outside.

13

Isn’t that a bit harsh? Ten-year-old kids playing with a cat in an inappropriate manner, but not purposely torturing it or anything seems more like something that deserves enough to make them realize how stupid it is, but nothing too severe. After all, ten-year-olds can be pretty naïve about things the rest of us take for granted.

14

Hmmm, reminds me of a gag I used to play with my cat. I’d hold him under my right arm and grip his front legs with my left hand and “machine gun” my sister.

The cat didn’t like it, by the way.

15

When I was a kid we were sooooo pooooor…

(How poor were you?)

We were so poor, my parents couldn’t afford to buy me a set of bagpipes. So I threw a cat over my shoulder and bit its tail!

[sub]Actually, I like bagpipe music and cats. But I had to get the joke in.[/sub]

16

So, was Kitty okay?

My cats would go pee all over the skateboard.

:wink: