I hope she doesn’t hurt Cuervo! He’s one of my favorite Doper cats, and has been ever since Mr Bus Guy took my suggestion of taking a picture of him next to a bottle of Cuervo.
I must immediately buy some SSSCat. I love the videos, and will have to go look at more of them. I’ve used waterguns on cats, but that method depends on me being around the cat to spray it, and this wouldn’t work around electric/electronic stuff that could be damaged by water.
There are plastic containers made especially for loaves of bread. We had to get a couple of them because one of my daughter’s cats LOVES bread and will eat it in preference to anything else.
Yeah, except for these behaviors, I really have no complaints about the twins. They’re very sweet and loving so that’s great. Unfortunately, the boy gets a little too sweet and loving by licking and biting my face in my sleep! I can get him to stop, though, so it’s not too bad.
I generally let them go most other places - they walk all over my coffee table, I have blankets set up for them on the couch and love seat, and they walk all over the bathroom sink.
Sometimes I wonder why I bought them any toys at all when the things they play with the most are the empty boxes from my Dr. Pepper 12 packs.
And just for good measure, I can tell you that the kids really do love each other (not posed!).
If you can build one, the Blender Defender is a very effective solution.
Her and her two sisters would cast a painful spell on me at midnight on a full moon, stirring a kettle of possum guts, herbs and children’s teeth.
She’d never hurt Cuervo, he is the Golden Child in this house, as for many here on the SDMB.
Disclaimer: She has only one sister, and she honestly believes I deleted that photo from anything resembling the internet. On the other hand, she did pose for it, so I call it fair game.
Oh my God this is incredible.
… and your attitudes, which need adjusting.
These are not “problems”, except inside your head.
They live in that house too, and have every right to go anywhere inside it, including up on the counters, amongst the TV wiring, inside the Christmas tree, wherever.
And they will do so, whether you like it or not. You will learn that, eventually.
This is the only accurate statement in your OP.
If you wanted dumb slavish animals that would obey you, you should’a got a dog. 
Oh, that is too damn funny. And effective, too.
I liked the compressed air keyboard cleaners myself. Give the cat a good hiss with one of them and it doesn’t take long before the lesson is learned.
Parker–my 2 year old feline overlord whom I adopted as a 5 month old stray–was OBSESSED with wires. He went through several of my phone chargers and also my computer speakers. More than once.
He didn’t mess with thicker cords; he liked thin speaker/phone charger wires. He could chew through them in seconds. And often did.
Finally I bought my last set of computer speakers and wrapped every single cord in foil. Every inch of them.
He hasn’t touched them since.
If that didn’t work I was going to try thick plastic cords that I wrapped around the wires.
As for phone chargers…nothing to be done there but make sure they’re out of reach. Currently I hide my charging phone in my Kitchenaid mixer.
To be fair though, I have forgotten to do this on occasion and he hasn’t touched it; I think he’s outgrown it to a large extent. A lot of the behavior in your OP is kitten behavior that will mellow out with age. Some of it will never go away; cats are cats and will always find a way to get into anything they’re curious about.
I like the idea of cardboard with double-stick tape; I’ve never seen a cat that can stand having anything stuck to its paws.
Okay, I’ve got this purchased and in place. Granted, I had to visit six different pet stores, all of whom had the refills but not the unit, but now I’ve got the unit! I had it turned outward from the entertainment center and the boy came about five feet away - it went off and he jumped about two feet in the air. I adjusted the sensor to point further inward and he even walked up to the entertainment center without issue. We’ll see…