I was making a box of macaroni & cheese and realized I was out of milk. Now, normally it’s ok without milk but a little tart and chunky, so I thought, what the hell, add just a dash of French Vanilla Coffeemate instead. Hey, it’s the same food group, right?
BIG MISTAKE. Yecchhh!!!
Only took two bites and I still can’t get that taste out of my mouth. The worst part is, I think I may have done this before, and forgotten. Hope I remember this time.
So what’s your most revolting food screwup?
My younger kid takes a lot of supplements and early on we were trying to figure out how to get fish oil into him.
Mr P made chocolate fudge cake and added the oil to it. It was absolutely amazingly revolting.
You gotta get the microwavable kind of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. You just add water! It’s foolproof!
One time, I was making mac & cheese and discovered I was out of milk AND butter!
I used a dollop of mayonnaise, instead. Not too bad.
Remember way back in the 80’s when microwave cakes were new and kind of exotic? My mom made one and I don’t know what she did to it but it came out like an 8x8 salt block. Worst cake ever! I’d never tasted anything so salty. However our pet lamb (Patrick O’Furniture – we’re a sick family) devoured it and came back for more. 20 years later we still talk about the Sheep Cake.
Back in the '70’s there were these stunningly awful cakes you could buy where everything was there for you - the box even converted to the pan you used. All you had to add was 1 teaspoon of vinegar and 1 cup of water.
You can guess what my 9 year old sister and 7 year old me did. Yep - with the mistaken switch to 1 teaspoon of water and 1 cup of vinegar, we converted the stunningly awful to the astringently atrocious. Our mom couldn’t stop laughing for about a week.
Back in the 60’s when “Fluff” was popular (to make a “Fluffer Nutter”), I was convinced that Fluff was mayonnaise.
For you younger ones, Fluff was/is? a spreadable form of MARSHMALLOW!
A Fluffer Nutter was a Fluff and Peanut Butter sandwich
A peanut butter and mayo sandwich was not exactly tasty!
Trying Kraft (or any other brand) Mac and Cheese, even properly made.
:rolleyes:
A helpful hint: Campbell’s Tomato Soup is not a good substitute for tomato paste.
Careful, there are a couple PB & Mayo lovers here on the Dope, that might be offended.
No, not me, that’s disgusting! 
I once made a volcano cake. Misread teaspoons as tablespoons when adding the baking soda. The cake bubbled over the edge of the pan during most of the cooking process, like a volcano. Thankfully, I had a baking sheet under the pan otherwise that would have been an even bigger mess. However, it was actually edible and rather tasty - but that’s probably because it was made with a bunch of Milky Way bars.
KGS, milk and non-dairy creamer aren’t quite in the same food group, hence why it’s “non-dairy”. Although flavored non-dairy creamer does make a good substitute for milk when making pancakes or French Toast. (Actually, with pancakes I think I still use some milk, I usually do this when I don’t have enough milk for the recipe so add the creamer to the milk I have. The results are quite tasty. However, I am not certain if it could completely replace the milk.)
My wife once tried to make a cookie pie when we were first married…it wound up being more like a very sweet doormat.
I once made a pan of scalloped potatoes with too much flour. Way too much flour. They came out like a concrete patio block.
I was making Hungarian Poppyseed Cookies. The recipe called for 1/4 c lemon juice and 1 Tablespoon poppyseeds. I used 1 cup poppyseeds. Baked into very thin greasy wafers with millions of tiny shiny black “bugs”. Disgusting.
Since I don’t drink milk, I just use a bit more I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. It actually tastes better!
Wow. I don’t even know what would possess anyone to think that Vanilla would go unnoticed in Mac & Cheese (or fish oil in chocolate cake for that matter.)
My worst faux pas occurred this past Thanksgiving. I was visiting some American friends in Budapest and we were throwing together the traditional dinner. I was basically in charge of everything, and started the pumpkin pie the day before. I went to the market, bought several kilograms of fresh pumpkin (more like butternut squash), roasted it for a couple hours, let it cool, scooped the flesh out, added all the other ingredients, spiced it up and tasted it. It was fine, just needed a little more sugar. I had already used up a lot of the brown sugar, and I thought plain crystal sugar would do the trick. So I asked my host where the sugar was and she pointed me to the cupboard. I grab a handful of the sugar (in a tupperware container) and toss it into the mix. I taste. Aw, shit. I look at the sugar a little more closely. It’s salt. She kept the salt in between two containers of sugar: one powdered sugar, and one white sugar. Dammit.
Three hours down the drain, back to the market, repeat. It came out fine the second time. (I know, nowhere near the horror stories here, but I felt like such an idiot for making that basic mistake.)
I was showing my friend how to make lattes and let her pack the grounds in the pot of the espresso maker. She wanted to add mint flavoring to the resulting latte, so I got the mint syrup. Neither of us had realized that she had accidentally used the hazelnut coffee.
Mint and hazelnut coffee, for your information, do not mix. At all. :smack:
I was in college and in the military. I survived for quite some time on food that gastrophiles would consider inedible. Hell, most vertebrates probably would have considered much of my diet inedible.
Having said that, packaged mac and cheese is horrid. I’ve tried several brands, and I found the cardboard boxes more appetizing. Hot Pockets, frozen burritoes, and other barely-food stuffs that could be nuked or cooked in a toaster oven were far preferable to prepared mac & cheese.
I stand by my statement.
I’ve got this great artichoke dip recipe (two cans artichoke hearts, one cup parmesan cheese, one cup mayo and bake til brown) that’s insanely delicious but really high in fat. So I thought I’d try a lo-cal version. I bought fat free parmesan cheese and fat free mayo. :rolleyes: Man, that fat free stuff is like plastic. Nothing browned and I guess you need the fat to meld the flavors. It was horrible…
For a while I was on a Protien and Fiber supplement kick while getting into shape. As a result I tried some strange combos to try and squeeze extra helthy stuff into normal foods. One successful attempt was the invention of the SchlägerWhey. A wonderful Happy hour mix of Whey Protien shake and GoldSchläger.
However, one bad descision was the addition of Metamusil to Frosted Cheerios. I figured, hey, the Fiber crap disolves in liquids, and the dissolved frosting has to make it more palatable. Um, no. Not sure what chemical reaction occured there, but it was quite similar to half-way set concrete.