I know there’s plenty of these “parts” that have become standard over the years, used either to prank or send someone on a wild goose chase (left-handed smokeshifter, shore line, etc.) Anyone have any favorites they’ve used or heard, or related stories?
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Back in the day when I worked retail, anytime we had just a little too much of a particular product to fit on the display we would send a newbie to find the shelf stretcher.
If you have a pilot friend you can gift him a bottle of Prop Wash.
In Boy Scouts we sent people for the OP’s left-handed smoke shifter (which would have come in handy, if it actually existed), or for a skyhook.
Our biggest success came at a jamboree when we sent someone for a bacon stretcher. His mother was among the “civilians” visiting, and she was taken in, as well, and came up with a solution. She suggested we place the bacon between two of the aluminum plates in our mess kits to keep the bacon from curling up and shrinking.
I haven’t heard of Kuhneutson Valves, but the Flux Capacitor is from the Back to the Future movies, and thus in a different category than these “wild goose chase” devices – it’s a fictional device, like an Interociter or a Sphinx Valve. Something nonexistent that was invented for a story.
I always liked sending green baby airmen out to Operations for 250 yards of flight line.
Don’t forget they’ll need to find and submit the ID10T paperwork before they can requisition those items from supply.
Metric adjustable wrench.
I have a vague memory of a commercial from some years back that referenced a “fuhnortnerod”, but I can’t seem to find any reference to it…possibly because I’m horribly misremembering the name…does it ring any bells?
I need you to run down to the store room and grab a Seventh Fetzer Valve and some 60 Weight Ball Bearings. Oh, and while you’re there, grab a fifty pound tub of Muffler Packing Grease.
“Sphinx Valve” appears to be a real thing. It’s apparently used in plumbing.
https://www.google.com/search?q=Sphinx+Valve
I had one of my guys go out for a rubber file. It’s used to remove excess silicone from antennas where it joins the fuselage without damaging the paint… Also, when my Dad ( a Comm Tech)was in the military he had one guy go out for a pair of fallopian tubes(they worked on high power surface to air radio sets, which used power tubes). After being circuited around the base all day from section to section, the MIR nurse had him come in and she gave him a quick anatomy lesson…
See if you can get a new veeblefetzer for the potrzebie.
There are actually smoke sifters, aka spark arrestors. And there are really bacon stretchers aka a Bacon Press…
From a military orientation
- box of grid squares
- chemlight batteries
- various items related to inflation of the tank road wheels (compressor, pressure gauge, etc)
- military bearing grease
- glow plugs for the turbine
- can of squelch from commo
- ignition keys for the HMMWV
- can of track tension
- box of reticles
- NVG fluid
- left handed/metric tools that were ambidextrous (metric hammer, left handed screwdriver, etc)
Not a thing to retrieve but similarly pointless - checking the armor on the tank for hollow spots with a hammer
Made up item but the hunt ends quick - send them to a specific NCO for a specific radio, with the nomenclature using paygrade along the lines of PRC-E6. “First Sergeant, where do I find the Prick E8s?”
In IT: “I see what your problem is. You need a left-handed keyboard.”
You know those do exist right? And yes one-handed keyboards also exist.
Back in my early days of electronics manufacturing a UART Analyzer was the go-to for new techs.
I have heard of people being sent for a bucket of steam, but I’m not sure if anyone ever did; it sounds implausible to me.
Muffler bearings! Granddad would look under the hood of a car and say the muffler bearing was the problem, especially the right front muffler bearing.
I’ve heard the IT guys tell people they have a PEBCAK problem with their computer…
Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard
I can tell the problem with your car from here. The bypass hose to the Metzler valve is bad.
Also your hub cap gaskets are leaking.