When I was in Boy Scouts, it was always specifically a green left-handed smoke-shifter. See, there were multiple brands of them, and the red ones were lousy quality.
Latex paint thinner
My mother taught me, practically from the cradle, when ANYTHING goes wrong on a car, it’s always the Canuten Valve. (Spelling determined by which brand you use)
She’d mix up a serious talk with her favorite “double talk” words: retifortis and ranaframs.
You always have to be careful with those, they break so easily!
~VOW
Quite a few years back, doper Triskadekimus regaled folks at a get-together about pranking a newly-minted lieutenant by insisting they couldn’t do something with a part because they were out of azimuth. I cannot possibly do the tale justice.
A friend of ours, who is really into cars, suggests that if you think you’re being bullshitted by a car salesman (I know, that’s a duplicative term), you start talking about muffler bearings and see if he jumps in to sound knowledgeable about. Platinum-plated muffler bearings are supposed to be the absolute best 
.
Or PICNIC. I’ve actually entered that in call logs more than once.
Problem in chair, not in computer.