I’m a woman who wears men’s clothes nearly all the time. I am, however, rarely mistaken for a man, and I’ve never had anyone look at me twice when using the women’s room.
If I walk into a women’s room and see a man who is not holding a mop and dressed in a janitor’s uniform, I will immediately assume he is a predator; or I’ve made a mistake. I hate, hate, hate multi-user unisex bathrooms and will boycott any business that has only multi-user unisex bathrooms. If it’s just one bathroom, and one person at a time uses it that’s ok, although I will probably blame men for the mess (sorry guys!).
As for Semaj Bogan’s particular case, when a transgendered person stops trying to “pass”, I don’t really consider them transgendered anymore (if you think I’m wrong here, feel free to open a pit thread, please don’t hijack this one). I’d be bothered if a man who looks like a man, and is dressed like a man is using the women’s room. So yes, he’s hurting his case.
If there are stalls, I’m okay with unisex bathrooms. I’ve used men’s rooms a few times when I absolutely had to pee and could not wait – though I’ll admit I’ve only done that if there were a few other women with me. If the bathroom was explicitly unisex, though, fine.
As for transgendered people…ehh, what’s the fuss?
Hear, hear!
I just found out that here in Spain, the law requires separate washrooms for men and women in the workplace, even in places with only two people, if they happen to be different genders. I can see the point when you have showers or people changing clothes… but otherwise, why? And, really, with only two people, they could always take turns 
After giving the feedback here a little more thought, as Bricker and several others have pointed it out: it is a both a security issue and an impractical policy.
From the story:
On it’s face, that sounds like a well intentioned - but flawed - decision.
In trying to open a (bathroom) door to individual & trans-gendered rights, Semaj Bogan might be inadvertently letting in a whole host of undesirable characters. A fairly common theme running throughout the posts in this thread is; men are pigs & slobs. I totally concede that point (even some college boys aren’t all that great with their aim, rabbitH20). But on top of poor hygiene, some men (a lot more often than women) can be dangerous & predatory. Just run a google search on ‘secret bathroom videos’ if you don’t wanna take my word for it. You wouldn’t be too hard pressed to find men a whole lot sleazier than George Michael, cruising public restrooms. In some places, there are T-rooms, where someone has gone through the laborious task of boring a 6" diameter hole in the stall dividers. Is it alarmist to point out there are freaks, perverts, rapists and child molesters amongst us?
No matter how you slice it, when the bar is lowered to the point that ‘people are allowed to define their own gender’ and can use either restroom they wish - not only does Semaj Bogan (who by all outward appearances seems completely harmless) get to use the ladies facilities - so do heterosexual perverts who want to misrepresent themselves and sit in a stall all day stroking themselves while listening to the sounds of their favorite fetish. Because Semaj Bogan chooses to wear men’s clothing and has ceased reassignment therapy, there’s an automatic expectation that the general public should just accept another person’s inner thoughts - not their outward appearance - when selecting which bathroom they use. Sorry, but unless co-ed facilities were the norm, I would not feel comfortable with either my 9 or 7 year old daughters using a public bathroom unattended. And speaking of co-ed; though gender neutral facilities may be on their way, I can’t see too many females from older generations (or parents of young children) being all to thrilled with the prospect.
It’s akin to the ‘homeless people shall not be barred from public libraries’ policy from a few years ago. From a distance, it sounds like fair-minded public policy; until you’re the person trying to do some research and sitting 4 feet away is a person who stinks of ammonia and MD20/20 wine…then it starts to smell like a wrong headed one.
Um, I’m a woman and identify as such and right now the only article of clothing I have on which was not purchased in a men’s department is my bra which is not visible. Am I hurting anyone’s cause?
As for the OP. I am in the “If there are stalls on the doors what’s the big deal?” camp. I seek out “family” rest rooms because I am a single mom of a son who is too young to go unescorted into some larger facilities but when none is available he comes with me to the ladies’.
I think I misunderstood. If this is a man who used to take female hormones, but still has male anatomy and dresses like a man, then he should be using the MEN’s room. I don’t even see why it’s up for debate.
Now, if it’s a man who identifies as a woman, and dresses like one, that’s different. It would be mean to expect this person to use a men’s restroom.
I don’t mind unisex bathrooms - provided they are labeled as unisex and have private stalls.
I do mind walking into the women’s room and finding men in there. (or boys older than about eight whose Mom’s won’t let them grow up - although they’ll get a pass if the location is particularly skanky and haven’t noticibly hit puberty yet.)
Its an expectations thing.
Having now read the article, I am in agreement with Indygrrl. I was picturing someone with some visible feminine traits, but Bogan’s outward appearance in that photo is completely male (just how long was this person on hormones anyway?) so it seems unfair to expect natal women to know that this person identifies as a woman.
Even if voice and mannerisms/body language were feminine, those indicators probably would not be apparent to someone who is walking into the restroom or is already inside when Bogan walks in.
OTOH, if this was a matter of someone with a masculine face trying hard to appear female, then their identity and intentions would be clear.
After two years in college dorms and many summers of hostelling, I’m pretty much inured to anything. That said, I can understand why people would be uncomfortable with it, especially older women, and I wouldn’t want to force unisex facilities on anybody.
Are you people insane? Guy bathrooms are… are guy bathrooms. No woman should ever dare to use a men’s bathroom. Really. Also, wouldn’t there exist the inconvenience, for guys, of having to pee with a woman, like, right there? I’m sorry, I may sound ultra-conservative on this respect, but it’s truly the way nature intended things to be. Women go to the bathroom with all their friends (why I will never know) and this would be a great bother in your utopic unisex bathrooms, as well.
Yeah, I’m a guy, and here’s what I say: They’re not men’s bathrooms. They’re penis bathrooms and if you have one, you go in. You don’t, you use the one next to it. Simple as that.
Hell, I’m a guy and** I ** prefer using women’s bathrooms when I can get away with it. Why any woman would share with us I’ve no idea; we’re pigs.
Ugh, this whole gender thing just wierds me out. The whole idea is so tenuous and mutable (you can be a woman if you wear a dress or have a pretty face, but if you feel like wearing a dress will get you beat up, you can’t be a woman) that it seems like we should just scrap the whole thing instead of continuing this whole masquarade. I can’t figure out why we all have to wear our gender like some big permanent performance of “man” and “woman” instead of just getting on with our lives.
I posted this question and article in the Tranny Channel I hang out in and most of the girls said that they prefered unisex bathrooms. They said that they thought it was silly of Semaj Bogan to demand to go into the bathroom in guy mode. Personally, I think something is strange with this individual. He identifies as a girl but doesn’t take hormones or want to get the surgery and dresses in male clothes? Not a transsexual, IMHO. I know some transgendered individuals who don’t plan on getting the surgery, but they all dress in feminine clothing and/or take hormones. The fact that he doesn’t do any of that leaves me to believe he is a very confused individual.
A lot of people are defined by their gender. I don’t see it as a performance at all. I am a woman, I act and dress like a woman. I don’t see it as a big deal or something I have to get over to get on with my life. Being a woman is a huge part of my life, as gender is to most people.
Not everybody wants to go to the bathroom with people of the opposite sex, why should they have to if it makes them uncomfortable?
As a guy, I know that no one asked for my opinion, but here it is anyway.
I positively dread the thought of unisex bathrooms. I don’t mind if somebody transexual wants to use my bathroom, but I won’t tolerate women. Part of it frankly does come back to hygeine, etc. Women, before you say that you might accept unisex bathrooms, you should know the horrific smells we’re capable of producing. They would embarass me to death if I knew a woman was in the stall next door, but I’m okay with guys or people that want to or are becoming guys being next-door.
So, I say no unisex bathrooms.
This unsolicited opinion is now over.
This is an interesting question. I’ve had times when I’ve worn buzzcuts and dressed in suits and ties. I’m female and not transgendered (more transvestite really) but I know I make other women uncomfortable because I do look quite masculine. During those times I’ve made it a point to say “hi” or something (female voice cue plus unthreatening intent) or to have a female friend go with me so I can chat with them (friend cue). It helps to keep my unintended bathroom mates from going into shock.
The latter is what Bogan should be doing if ze really does feel more comfortable in a women’s room. I don’t think ze’s doing hirself or the TG community any favors by passing as a man but insisting on using women’s facilities unattended. OTOH it sometimes doesn’t take much gender deviation to get your ass kicked out there, and I’d rather shock someone (and then immediately try to put them at ease) than risk getting REALLY hurt.
I went to a gay club in Atlanta that had the restrooms labeled “Men” and “Everybody Else”. There were all kinds of folks in that little bathroom. Men, women, gay (in various stages of love-making at times), drag queens…anyone who had to go was finding a spot. Once I got used to it, I was no longer self-conscious. It took a few drinks to get to that point. It’s all a matter of conditioning. Other cultures think we’re strange.
Instead of a switch to multi-user unisex bathrooms, why not make the switch to single-user unisex bathrooms, little 6’x6’ rooms with one toilet and one sink? That way, nobody’s gender has to be questioned by others, because there will be nobody else in the bathroom at the time. It might be a little more complicated construction-wise to set up multiple small bathrooms instead of two big ones, but lots of people (such as myself, and probably most transexuals, as well as the parents of small kids who send their kids into the bathroom alone) would feel more comfortable with them, and that might outweigh the cost.
I don’t have a problem with sharing the bathroom with transexuals any more than I do sharing the bathroom with other non-trans women. However, I do mind sharing the bathroom with other women a lot. Single-user rooms would be so much safer and bypass any gender identity issues. You could even rig the rooms such that a light would turn on whenever someone was inside, like bathrooms in planes, so no woman would have to be creeped out by a guy banging on the bathroom door to see if she was done.
If you think your concept through to its conclusion, it’s far too impractical. Expecting / requiring institutions that offer public bathroom facilities to devote 36 [/] to individual bathrooms would be cost prohibitive (construction, tile, plumbing, etc.) and require a huge amount of increased floor space (read: real estate). People here have already complained about waiting on line at concerts and sporting events. Single-user bathrooms are akin to individual garage facilities in parking lots.
…On top of the fact the Local 987 Union of Organized Bathroom Attendants would scream holy hell 