Let me tell you the story of the only time an attractive guy (as opposed to some skeevy, drooling dirtbag) that I ever noticed was checking me out.
I had a new haircut and was dressed in my best “professional” outfit, a rather flattering suit on which I have gotten a lot of compliments (from women), with a collared shirt and a camisole underneath. Not showing any cleavage or anything. I just felt like I looked pretty sharp. I was hanging out in a lobby at a conference, noodling around on my laptop to kill time. I noticed this cute guy on the other side of the room looking rather, um, intently in my direction. Like, with lust in his eyes! “Holy crap!” I thought to myself, “that guy is checking me out!” I was just framing up my best smile and blushing a tad when he elbowed his friend, pointed toward me, and said, “Have you seen the new iBooks?”
He was only impressed by my hardware, not my software.
Anyway, I don’t flirt, and I don’t really think well of people who do so (aside from with friends or people they’re actually sexually interested in). Admittedly this is in large part because I’m a seriously incompetent flirter—maybe if I was any good at it, I wouldn’t be so high and mighty. But if I want something from a man, or a woman, I’ll be pleasant and friendly. If I particularly like a man, I’ll treat him as a potential friend, not a sexual partner. And I’ve noticed a shocking correlation: if I dress provacatively, skeevy, drooling dirtbags leer at me. Og only knows if this is because I’m so fugly that only skeevy dirtbags would be interested, or if nice men keep their leering to such a subtle level that I, Oblivious Lass, never notice. So I do not dress provocatively. I can do without parading around with my titties on display, even if it means that maybe I don’t impress men.
Anyway, I only flirt when I’m (a) interested in the man in question or (b) I’m not, but it’s clearly just playing around (say, if he’s married or something) and we’re just having fun. I can’t recall ever attempting to use my looks to get anything. I’m not ugly by any stretch, but it never occurs to me that using my looks could be an option.
Though I have been told on numerous occasions that I’m pretty and have a rockin’ bod (good rack, too), I am a jeans and t-shirts gal, and the majority of my wardrobe is just not that flattering - certainly not in the “c’mon, baby” sort of way. On occasions when I do have a date, I have a helluva time trying to find something decent to wear. I’d like to correct this, but even when I have the money to upgrade my wardrobe, I am a bad shopper. I just buy more t-shirts. So I guess I don’t feel very come-hither because I’m usually dressed like I’m about to put up some drywall.
I’m much more likely to be friendly to get what I want. That is, be cheerful and treat people with respect, rather than bitching and complaining. Having worked in customer service, I am acutely aware of when to use both tactics.
I have a friend, though, who has a slim frame and DDD boobs. They are totally real, just freaky genetics. She definitely, and deliberately, uses them to her advantage, and really enjoys it when people check her out. She says it makes her feel powerful.
I don’t think I could use my looks to manipulate guys, unless by “manipulate” you mean “intimidate.” I’m sort and muscly for a girl, and I’ve been told that I hit like a guy.
I have absolutely no problem using my manipulative side to manipulate people, though - although I do try to use it for the better good (getting my dad to buy food instead of vicodin), I have occasionally slipped (getting my mom to let me use her car instead of my POS).
Well, since it’s done for no other reason than to draw attention, you could go the passive aggressive route and completely fail to notice she exists. Of course, that’s rather cruel and will probably hurt her feelings, but it’ll get the message across that not everyone lives to see her tits.
I don’t think I know HOW to consciously manipulate anyone with my looks. But I have managed to learn that heterosexual males typically enjoy checking me out. So, yes, when I’d like to have one/some of them be nicer, more attentive, or more helpful, I’ll dress to facilitate that and hope that it’s appreciated. If not, meh. It’s not like I’ve really gone out of my way to do anything different. I suppose I could bake everybody cookies or something for a similar effect, but that would be work.
And since I never, ever seem to notice when people are checking me out, I can hardly object to random bystanders looking. Quick! Appreciate the view while you can! My boobs can’t defy gravity forever!
Nope. And I imagine it would be laughable if I tried. I sit here typing in this luscious outfit: Dirty grey sweat socks, loose cotton pants that are not what you’d call flattering, and an old hospital scrub top that I acquired at least 16 years ago. And this isn’t all that different from what I wear to work.
My husband said that I could when I asked him (not that he was giving permission, just saying that it’s physically possible). I don’t think it’s ever occurred to me to do so before (well, maybe for getting out of speeding tickets, but I wouldn’t even know where to start. It would be like teenaged Monica flirting with Chandler - someone could even lose a toe!)
I agree with this. Also, if someone is weak enough that they have no alternative but to let me physically shove them out of my way, why should I be the bigger person and not take advantage of it?
So I guess I don’t feel very come-hither because I’m usually dressed like I’m about to put up some drywall.