If you’re walking around with your wallet open and bills falling out, then you shouldn’t be surprised if people do help themselves.
And what about when I’m walking around with my wallet zipped up, wrapped up, and put away, but people try to help themselves?
Like I said, I’m understanding: if I’m falling out for the world to see, by all means take a look. Only dumb bitches that are looking to be insulted (there, I said it. And no, no one in this thread has made this particular claim to the extreme I’m talking about) complain about men staring at their chests while the girls are bouncing in the sunlight. So yeah, I get it: I’m showing the good, take a peak. It’s cool.
When I’m in my sweat pants, tired, and dragging my feet through the cold medicine section (completely covered, mind you), use your judgement, k? When the goods are under wraps, I clearly don’t want to get harassed. Don’t whistle. Don’t stare at me*. For the love of GOD, don’t try to touch me (or you will pull back a nub, so help me). I’ll excuse stupid behavior quite a bit more when I’m in whore mode, but not when I’m clearly not putting myself out there.
*Again: there is a difference between a casual look or glance or even a second look and flat out staring.
True, but I think we should differentiate between “using your looks to manipulate people” and “walking around naked”. They’re not actually the same thing. It doesn’t take any skill to flash your tits, and so I’m not sure that “manipulation” is the correct term to apply.
I’m actually a pretty conservative dresser. I’m about 20 lbs heavier than I’d like. I’m not a tit flasher. I’m a smiler, and a gazer, and an eyelash flutterer. My method could as correctly be called using my charm to manipulate people, although I’m pretty sure the charm would fall considerably flatter if I were less pretty.
Sure you can, if they expect you to solve those problems to *their * benefit and not yours. It’s *your * brain. It doesn’t exist for their use.
If I’m walking around with my tits hanging out and some guy looks, more power to him.
However, if I’m using a pretty smile, some fluttering eyelashes and a head toss, he has no business looking at my rack.
Or do you only notice attractive women when their tits are hanging out?
There’s that, and, as I got closer to 30, I found that I wanted to be taken seriously. That’s hard to do in a mini skirt, knee high boots and plunging neck line. I wasn’t insulted by being ogled, but I was insulted that people thought that my looks were all I had to offer. Dressing more professionally still got me looked at (by an entirely different set of men, too), but it also got my opinions listened to. It may not be fair, but it seems to be the way it works.
Ah, I see. If a girl flirts with him, he’s not allowed to look at the rest of you to see if he’s interested. Got it. Though, its sure gonna make it tough to determine whether he’s attracted to all those girls flirting with him. But, then again, you aren’t actually interested anyway, as its just a lie to manipulate him…
Not at all, but if a girl starts flirting with me, my first reaction is that she is interested in me, not that she is trying to take advantage of me to get something. Therefore, my next reaction is to give a quick look to see if I’m even interested enough to flirt back. This involveds looking at her face and body. If that is offensive, its her own fault.
I think we got a bit off topic with the boobies hanging out thing, but let me ask:
Do you still buy suits that are cut to flatter your figure? When you meet new clients/bosses/whatever, do you smile and act friendly? I’m not being snarky in any way, shape, or form- I’m just curious if you really think you don’t flirt at all? I mean, everyone does it. Or maybe I’m just misreading and you’re agreeing, just saying that you can class up the flirting and still get more respect?
You’d be amazed at how many of them disagree. 
If you’re going to flirt with someone, they’re probably going to look. How on earth do you expect them to know that your smiling, fluttering your eyelashes and tossing your hair at them means “don’t look anywhere but my face”? They’re guys. If you do the “look at me” thing, they’re going to oblige you.
thank you thank you thank you
You have no idea how many women don’t get that concept!
(bolding mine)
I’d say the goods are working!
Oh, definitely the latter. It’s not a snarky question at all. I still like to be looked at; who doesn’t? But I like knowing that my opinions carry weight even more. As I said, it’s terribly unfair and shallow, because I’m still the same me expressing the same opinions, but those opinions get more serious consideration if they’re wearing a well cut suit than if they’re wearing a belly shirt and low rise jeans that show off my tat.
Looking is one thing. Covertly checking out the rack is cool too - I mean, it’s fabulous, I know that guys can’t help themselves.
BUT - If I’m in the home depot asking Mr. Saw Guy questions about saws and I’m being friendly, and smiling and he’s staring at my tits, I’m gonna be pissed.
And for the record - I flirt with everybody - guys and girls. It doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them or have them leering at me. It means that I’m a flirt.
Ah. See, you didn’t explain what you meant by “look.” There’s the patented “Eye Bouncetm” and there’s having a conversation with your tits.
You know, reading through this I can’t really think of many times when I have needed to. I guess that makes me lucky. I think that, if you are a pretty girl, men expect you to use that. If, instead, you show that you are educated and competent (but not bitchy, please), men will be shocked into compliance (not only hot but SMART!) Obviously, attractive people are at an advantage in society–I think that is well established by various studies, though I don’t feel like looking for them right now. I don’t think playing up your looks within reason is manipulation, just a smart move.
I think you are overstating the issue. Most attractive women don’t bitch about men looking at them, especially when they are dressed provocatively, unless the men are being obviously stalker-like. I’ve never heard woman say she was “never” treated with respect. Maybe it’s a regional thing. 
If a girl starts flirting with me, my first reaction is that she wants something from me. Not that something, but something.
Okay, as an offshoot of this, I have a question for those who have answered ‘yes’.
I get uncomfortable when people do this. My friend’s SO, whenever we all get together, wears as low a cut top as possible and constantly, pretty blatantly, draws attention to her chest. Now, my friend encourages this, and others in the group get a chuckle out of it. I don’t want to appear a wet blanket, but … Well … She’s a wee bit over-the-top about it.
The other problem is, I know for a fact that I’m, for lack of a better term, much more sexually ‘conservative’ than most. I’m not offended by other’s sexuality, but it does make me a bit … Well … Uncomfortable. Is there a good way to say ‘Hey, could you -stop- showing us your cleavage’ without sounding like a complete prude / wet blanket? And would those of you who answered ‘yes’ to the OP feel offended if someone asked you to stop / called you on it?
ArrMatey!, I honestly don’t know how you could approach her about it. If you aren’t particularly close to her, why don’t you talk to her SO (who you seem to be closer with?) and mention that it makes you a bit uncomfortable? I’m not a touchy or sensitive person, so it wouldn’t bother me-- but I don’t know this woman and perhaps it will deflate (haha!) her ego (after all, we don’t know if she’s showing of the tits because she thinks she rules and is controlling people. . . or if she does it because she has absolutely no self esteem and thinks her boobs are her entire worth).
I’ve had people say things to me. For one, my friends ALWAYS joke about it, but it’s never anything serious (at least. . .I don’t think so?). Once at a debate tournament, I had a female judge ask me to stay and she just told me that she felt I was showing off so much that it might distract my male competitors. For what it’s worth, that day, I wasn’t doing it intentionally-- I had two button up shirts that looked exactly alike, but one was too small in the chest. When I left my house to go out of town that weekend, I grabbed the wrong shirt, so the buttons gaped open at my chest.
But yeah, I’m not offended. I’m also not that girl who gets offended when you point out that her thong is sticking 8 inches above her jeans (I hate that girl). It just depends on the person, I 'spose.
I had a feeling the real problem was just that I’m too arrogant and naive!! 
I had the same reaction.
Never did get flirting, so I couldn’t do that kind of thing even if I had the looks to do it.
I once considered using my lack of good looks (and that of others) to get something. One summer when I was in college, the air conditioner in the physics building was broken, and the maintenance guys were taking their sweet time to get it fixed. I considered leading a sit-in of naked physicists in the maintenance guys’ office to get them to hurry up.
Occasionally. I did it a lot more when I was younger. Now it seems less appropriate.
Now mostly I use my cuteness to get out of things, etc. I will always be cute rather than beautiful, so why not? But even that I don’t do very often.