I want to understand something about females that is currently confusing me.
On Friday (same bar, but before the freak legion told me they wanted to see me kiss my friend), I saw a girl that I’ve been acquainted with over the past few years. By acquainted, I mean I know her through other friends, and only really see her with them. We don’t hang out at all by ourselves (at least, not yet).
She recently got a boob job. This was the first thing she told me Friday night. The next thing she told me-“They’re really hard. Go ahead. Touch one.”
I, being the reserved gentleman I am, demur.
She insists. “Just touch one right here.” She points to an area still fully on her breast, but above the nipple-on the top, I guess. So I do, and to her credit, it was pretty hard.
She’s very proud of them-talked about them a lot that night. She assured me she was going to show them to me, just as soon as the swelling and bruises went away.
Man, Friday was a weird night.
Anyway, my question is this. I can’t normally get a woman to show me her breasts unless there is money, a g-string, and a seedy club involved. This one, who I don’t know very well, is asking me to touch apparaise them. I’ve noticed other women with this same behavior after a breast augmentation. Why is this? I understand they’re excited, but it’s a little different than driving around a new car to show it off, isn’t it? It’s still a part of your body, and most women don’t normally uncover them for near strangers to see. What’s the deal, ladies?
Then he said, “That is that.”
And then he was gone.
-Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*
