Don’t let this blind tasteless person do your make-up! Also, if you are not skilled at it, don’t do it yourself either.
My suggestion would be to make a trip to the swankest department store in your area and let the salespeople at the cosmetics counters compete for your wedding make-up. The folks at Prescriptives are particularly good at doing natural looking make-up (at least in my town). You will get a chance to preview the effects for free and can either practice at home with their instructions or pay a good one to do it on your wedding day.
Yes - many of the make-up staff selling luxury make-up brands in department stores have the full neon-orange clay mask and lurid fluorescent coral lipstick, thick mascaraed eye-lash thing going.
Another good makeup brand is Aveda for the natural look. Its pricey. Estee Lauder bought them out several years ago, but I haven’t noticed the brand in department stores yet - just salons.
I don’t think you need “different” makeup for photos. You want to look good for both the photos and the guests!
I don’t wear makeup usually. But when I do I use a pressed powder as a foundation (it feels lighter on my skin), a little blush, a neutral shadow, mascara, eyeliner and lipstick. It is really easy to do yourself with just a little practice - and the right colors! I try to go for colors that look natural - powder that matches my skin (the idea is to even out your natural tone), liner and mascara in brown. Blush in a color thats close to the shade I actually blush. Lipstick isn’t supposed to look “natural” but should look classy (I do best with brown-pinks).
(Another option is to have a Mary Kay party - your girlfriends all get together and give each other makeovers. Hate their products, though. Or you could just have a “spa” party. Invite the girlfriends over to play with makeup. You may be surprised at how much time your friends who “never wear makeup” spent in the bathroom when they were fifteen.)
In my experience, wearing a little extra eye makeup, particularly in the outer corners of your eyes, and a lip stain or tint gives you a more defined look in photos, and doesn’t look freaky weird in person.
And I also wore a lot more make-up in my teenage years than I do now. Seems the older I get, the less I wear. If it adds more than 3 minutes to my morning routine, I don’t do it. I have much better skin now, at 37, then I did at 17, that’s for damn sure. I actually have great skin now - I can’t remember the last time I broke out, and almost no wrinkles, partially since I can’t really get much sun exposure due to sun-induced puking migraines.
I just got married a few months ago, and I had this same problem, as I never wear makeup. I was also told that I needed some makeup for the photos. I tried going to the swanky department stores and wasn’t very pleased with the result (they are trying to SELL the stuff, after all) I asked my cousin and my sister in law, who have similar coloring to help me and they put on a little lipstick and mascara. I think I looked purty.
Note: do not do this at the rehearsal dinner, when the “makeup artists” have imbibed mass quantities of wine. Also, if you’re getting married outside…wear some sunscreen. You can tell what point in the wedding the photo was taken by the increasing red tone of my face!
Lots of good advice here; thanks, everyone. I think my next move is to try the make-up counter people - see what they can do for me. I think the trick is to keep telling myself that we are having a big, fun dinner party, not “The Most Special Day of My Life” (said with resounding echo).