This thread is so weird to me. I believe what all of you are saying, but it is just so completely foreign to me. Wanting to be pregnant? Craving it? Whoo. What a concept (no pun intended 
). I do actually consider myself lucky to have somehow been exempted from the whole wanting to reproduce thing (I don’t even think babies are cute - they look deformed to me).
I was 20. It was like someone has flicked a switch - from “never given it much thought” to “must have babies NOW”.
It wasn’t the right time for kids, though, and I knew that - I could barely look after myself. But I’m 32 now, happily married and settled, so hopefully it will happen for us soon.
Hey, it’s weird for us too When the baby lust hits, your life takes a sudden change in direction, and it’s almost like you had nothing to do with the decision. I tried to explain it once to a friend who was more like you, and it sounded kinda insane, even to my ears.
Life would certainly have been simpler for me without the whole baby making drama, but hey, seems that wasn’t the path my uterus wanted me to take.
I wonder if my uterus is broken…
I’ve always wanted children. The big insistent ticking of my clock started around 12 years ago, when my best friend at the time had one and was expecting her second. It’s still ticking now even though my body could never handle a pregnancy and probably, if I’m honest, caring for a child in the newly mobile -> first grade years is probably beyond me now, too. And there is the added wrinkle that my partner has absolutely no desire to have or parent children, and couldn’t get me pregnant even if the desire were there, being as we’re both women.
We’re talking about living together in the near future, which reflects my reality but maybe not my aspirations. *Accepting *that this is my reality, that I’m not going to have kids (and adoption seems unlikely due to the above-mentioned health issues) is probably as scary to me as the idea of getting pregnant is to some of the women who’ve already posted in this thread. The magnitude of my disapproval of this turn of events is unspeakable.
That’s how my “blips” were. Ordinarily I’d be doing what I was doing, just minding my own business, and suddenly – WHAM! I’d suddenly find myself gazing at babies, wondering about them, wondering how I’d be as a mother, wondering what it would feel like being pregnant, wishing that my friends had infants so I could hold it and make silly faces and squee…
And hormones. Hoo boy, hormones. There’s a huge truth to the adage that women don’t hit their sexual stride until their 30s, let me tell you. Looking back on it now, that sudden baby lust had a lot to do with it. At one point it dawned on me that it would full-tilt hit me only at certain times of the month. I think I was nearing 40 when I finally theorized that baby lust is your hormones’ way of telling you “Procreate now before it’s too late!”
I had more or less accepted that we weren’t having kids. I have minor fertility issues, my husband has major issues (genetic disease), our finances were a mess, and I was 150 pounds overweight. He was lukewarm about the whole idea, and once I’d made the decision that I’d rather have him than a baby, I settled into acceptance.
Then one day we were laying in bed and the conversation turned to kids and suddenly he’s strongly in favor of the idea “someday”. I point out that we have a lot of work to do if we are going to do this, and that if we decide to do it it will be at least 2 years, if not three, before we actually have a baby, and I am not getting any younger (I was about to turn 33 at the time). He goes “Oh, okay then. Let’s do this”.
That’s when my switch flipped. I basically rolled out of bed and got on the exercise bike. Fourteen months later I was only 15 pounds over weight and in fighting form, we were totally out of debt and close to $20K in the baby account and we’re experts on infant and child development. I really do want to be pregnant, but more than that I WANT A BABY. We talk about babies all the time. My rational mind is a little taken aback by all this.
The best thing is that his switch flipped, too. If we are successful, he is going to stay home and hopefully eventually home school, so we have so much to talk about. We aren’t foolish enough to make “plans”, but it sure is cool to basically figure out our paradigm together.
A failed IVF cycle took away a good chunk of the baby account, and that was rough emotionally. We are moving on to donor sperm, which obviates the need for the IVF, so hopefully things will go better this time.
I’ve always imagined having kids. When I was 18, I was on the beach, watching some kids playing, and biology took over. I suddenly had an intense desire to have kids, and it was almost purely physical. My BODY wanted to do it. Fortunately, I had no trouble reining in the urge until I was married. I had my kids at 33 and 35.
I always wanted kids but I remember hitting a sudden patch of panic when, at nearly-29 and with three years of completely unsuccessful trying behind us, nothing was happening. The massive surge of anxiety I got when I realised that 30-and-still-childless was a distinct possibility was all-consuming for a while. Once I got to 29-and-a-half and it was mathematically impossible to become a parent (to a full-term baby) by 30, it quietened down a lot.
I had my daughter at 31, and at 34 I’m expecting #2.
I wish all of you ladies with clocks a’ tickin’ good luck. Even if it takes longer than you think to get pregnant, it can happen. A woman I worked with was 50 - 50! - married 30 years, never had any kids, assumed she was infertile. Husband, dogs, RV, trips to Vegas, blah blah, and she conceived out of the clear blue sky at age 50. Had a healthy girl. A year later - again, she conceived and had another healthy girl! She said it’s exhausting, a real upheaval in their lives, but they’re all loving it!
That’s an amazing story! I’m turning thirty next month, and no serious SO in sight. Starting to wonder at what point in the story I need to head to the bank and get some stuff done on my own.
I’m another one who was AMAZED by the switch flipping, even as it happened it felt completely insane and irrational. One day the urge wasn’t there, the next day it was, in FULL FORCE. And I was already old, too, in terms of prime child-bearing years, 31 or 32, so it wasn’t even a particularly effective switch as far as human reproduction goes. I had always liked children before, and had maybe a “oh sure, it would probably be nice if it happened, why not?” attitude, but NOTHING compared to the urge once it arrived, it’s hard for me to even compare the two, they’re so different.
We did end up having a lot of trouble in this area, but I’m pregnant now – 30 weeks and a completely uneventful pregnancy so far – after a bad run of miscarriages.
I didn’t feel any ticking at all by age 25 or so, but happened to get pregnant that year. Mt partner was the one making googlie-eyes at babies and pining like a puppy dog, not me. 
Since we’d been together 7 yrs AND I was very OK with the proposition (just hadn’t been feeling any buring urge) AND he was so excited he couldn’t stand it, we had a baby. (who is now an adult and in college and one of my best friends:D)
7 years later we had another one (also a wonderful being I feel honored to know and whose birth I will never regret)
But I could have gone through life w/o ever having procreated, yeah. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I spent about 15 years with other peoples’ kids as a preschool teacher and got my “fix” that way. Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE my kids and they have brought me more joy than any other single factor in my life to date, but could I have been happy w/o them? Never having HAD them? Sure. Absolutely.
(just today I was in line behind a baby at the grovery store and, as always, had to make goo-goo eyes/smile at him…he smiled back and made my day. Yeah, babies are way cool, awesome people, imo, but I am content to interact with them in other ways than as a mother. )
Casting yet another vote for switched overnight. Until my late twenties, I was sure I didn’t want kids. Getting pregnant ranked up there with the worst things that could happen to me. In my late twenties, my feelings moved more towards neutral. If an accident happened, it would be okay. I think that change had everything to do with finishing my grad degree and getting my finances in order. I finally, at 28, felt like a responsible adult.
In just the past few months, I’m definitely starting to want a child. I’m 34, so I know the biological clock is ticking down. More than that, I think it’s because I’m in a relationship with a man with whom I can envision parenting. Previously, I only saw me in the picture, either because I was single or because the man of the moment wasn’t exactly responsible.
The real kicker is that my current SO has had a vasectomy, so it isn’t going to happen without a very obvious commitment to the idea. I’m light-years farther than when I was in my 20s, but I’m not ready to pursue it to that degree. But I wouldn’t be surprised if that changed too.
OMG, don’t say that. Please don’t There is no f’ing away I’d become a mother at my age. With all due respect to my mother, I know what it’s like having an “older” mother. I’ll never put my child through that. :shudder:
My husband, OTOH, would be thrilled.
If you send your kid to a private school, there would be other mothers there who were 45 when their kid was born. Dunno about 50, but certainly 45. Public schools seems like the cutoff is 35.
Mine started age 16-17. Before that I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids. After the ‘switch flipped’ I had a burning desire to be pregnant and have a baby ASAP.
Luckily I was a very cautious and intelligent teenager, and I wasn’t sexually active until I was 19, and ended up in a LTR with a very responsible man before I was 20 (we’re still together). Otherwise I would definitely have been one of those teenagers who got pregnant on purpose, consequences be damned.
Now I’m 25, no kids yet because the time isn’t yet right, but I still want to get pregnant so bad it hurts. We’re not ‘trying’ in the least and we never have accidents with our contraceptive method, but the week before every period I am hoping my PMS symptoms are pregnancy symptoms (this has been true the entire time I’ve been sexually active). It’s almost a mental illness with me. It’s gives me pangs to see pregnant women and babies. I know it’s ridiculous but it doesn’t seem to be something I have any control over.
There are older and younger mothers who send their kids to either, there are many factors involved. In my current neighborhood most of the kids go to the local Catholic schools, but a majority of parents are under 35 with their oldest child 16-12 because they are observant Catholics who married and started having kids very young. At my public high school (which happens to be in a fairly wealthy suburb with an extremely high professional population and a very good public school system) I had several close friends whose parents were in their 40s when they were born, for a variety of reasons.
Another friend of mine is turning 49 and her daughter is two years old. She is poor as dirt so the kid will be going to public school. She got married for the first time at age 44 and was lucky enough to be able to concieve with no assistance.
I’m 34 and it’s never ticked, and I’m another who, if it did tick, would bludgeon it to death. I knew I didn’t want kids when I ws 17, and the only time I have ever wavered even a little was when everyone thought the world of my sister-in-law just because she had made two kids. I mean, it went overnight from “we don’t like her much” to “let’s shower gifts and money on her, she is the bestest thing that ever existed!” But I know it was just a phase of jealousy, unbecoming, and I soon got over it. Besides, they soon enough went back to not liking her much, and I know they love me. I’d rather be loved on my own merits than simply producing a kid - plus, she did the job, so the parents can have grandkids and not be all wistful.
The difference between throwing a bullet and firing it?
Maybe this explains why people harass childfree women as much as they do; they can’t comprehend that some of us just never have that switch flipped, and it was such a life-altering force of nature for them.
I was thinking the same thing too. There must be quite a lot of people out there that have procreated that didn’t feel the urge until bam there it was one day. And now they’re assuming you’ll get it too someday :rolleyes: I really don’t understand why they can’t just mind their own business. Is that really so hard? (I know, stupid question…)