Ladies: would you be flattered or skeeved out?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So here’s the scenario:

A few weeks back, I was out running some errands, doggie sitting beside me in the truck.

Suddenly, I realize that I’m starving! It’s like 2:30PM and so far I have literally eaten nothing that day… ahead is a Wendy’s.

I rarely eat fast food, but as I said I was starving and wasn’t going to be home any time soon. So I pulled into Wendy’s and ordered a burger. I got the “pull ahead to the first window” response and obediently pulled ahead.

The girl who came to take my money was absolutely stunning. Maybe 19-20 years old, possibly of Indian heritage as she had the most beautiful features, honey-peanut butter skin… and a smile that killed a bit of my heart. Holy crap!

Now, I’m fully ensconced in middle age, and while not completely repulsive, I 'm no one’s idea of an attractive guy.

So, she turns away with my cash to get my change and the window slides closed. I turn to the dog and say, “Holy shit doggie! Did you see her? She’s CUUUTE!” expecting that there is no way she will hear this.

When she returned with the change, however, her smile was… different somehow, and I suspect that she did overheard me.

I took my change and my food and left red-faced.

So since then I’ve been wondering: (assuming she heard me) did I skeeve the poor girl out, or was she flattered? Or something different?

(to be clear: I;m just curious. Not going back to hit on her or anything… I’m old enough to sneer at her father for being a young punk!)

Poll to follow in a min.

2

Nah, screw the poll… just tell me what you think. Did I skeeve her out?

3

Since she knew you were not talking to her, and also since it sounds like you used respectful and not demeaning language, I think just flattered and not skeeved out. The skeevy part comes from when a guy is trying to hit on you or trying to embarrass you or trying to make his friends laugh by saying something dirty to you. You were doing none of those things – just honestly commenting that she was cute. And you were doing it without the expectation of anything in return. I think it’s a win-win. You probably made her day because it was an honest compliment with no strings attached. :slight_smile:

4

All of this, but as someone who worked at a drive-through window as a young woman, an unexpected compliment (even honest and respectful) when you’re just trying to do your job can be very disconcerting. It’s the change of perspective, from viewing yourself as an employee to viewing yourself as an attractive woman, maybe even a sex object (given a very different sort of comment than the OP’s, obviously), and it can lead to a sort of temporary mistrust of the public. You start to wonder if everyone’s just staring at your tits, if anyone’s actually nice for nice’s sake…and then you get over yourself and go back to your job. But that immediate upset might explain the look on her face. The long-term effect is what tesseract described.

5

I would be inclined to say skeeved, considering the age difference.

6

Option 3: Saw you having a conversation with your dog. Categorised as ‘slightly odd: smile, serve & move along quickly’.

7

No way! Good is good. You weren’t being pervy, just appreciative (while talking to your dog. You could have been picking your nose. Loudly.)

But I might not be the one to ask. I’m a senior and once leaned out the car window at a red light to tell a really good-looking young guy in a convertable that he was…well, really good-looking. Could be a model. He grinned ear to ear and said Thanks!

Random Acts of Awe count in some of the best of ways.

8

I point out cute chicks to Blackjack all the time, and they always smile if they hear me. And I am hideous looking. Absolutely repulsive. I should wear a bag on my head.

9

:smack:

10

Paper? Or plastic?

11

A 19 yr old would probably not appreciate a comment about her looks by a middle aged man, especially a stranger while she’s at work.

Skeeved Out.

12

Thanks for the feedback so far… I’m really hoping I didn’t ruin this girl’s day. My CDO doesn’t like the idea.

13

OK, no idea what happened up there in post #9.

14

NM…my browser is wigging out on me.

15

My students are typically this age. To hear them talk, 40? That’s,like, really gross old, omg!

16

I wouldn’t go skeeved out so much, but I wouldn’t say flattered either. Possibly just… caught a bit off-guard.

That you didn’t carry it on and you finished the transaction and left without hassling her further should hopefully move it from the potentially weird and skeevy to the “kind of amusing and funny” category, but I really think she probably was just caught a bit on the back foot.

17

It’s not skeevy, just offensive.

Think how the girl must have thought when your dog replied. “ruff”

18

So, judging by the replies so far I either skeeved her out or made her day.

Argh. Gonna have to learn to keep my mouth shut!

(for what it’s worth, the dog thought she was cute, too…)

19

I’d worry that he was going to say something to me, so I’d have acted differently, like she did, in hopes that he wouldn’t start hitting on me. After he left, if he hadn’t done anything yucky, I’d have been fine about it, probably flattered.

20

I vote for “put her on her guard”. If she overheard you she may have been expecting your next move to be hitting on her, hence the altered expression. Once you were safely gone and it was clear you weren’t going to do anything overtly skeevy, she may well have been flattered by the comment.

ETA: Which is what Ferret Herder just said. <shakes fist at FH>