LAN

If. one. more. person. refers. to. the. LAN. as “The Internet” I. Will. Fdisk. Their. PC.

If.one.more.person.uses.periods.instead.of.spaces.between.words.I.will.S.their.bicycle.

I.can’t.log.into.Novell.the.internet.must.be.down.

Whats an internet?

If you don’t need to leave the computer intact, use a baseball bat instead: accomplish wanton destruction of property (and work out the frustration of dealing with (l)users) and an effective fdisk at the same time. (Assuming that you can smack the HD enough to ruin it.)
What me, violent?


<< Now accepting applications for my cult-like following. >>

Just take away their solitaire, that’ll piss 'em off more than anything.

[Homer]
Ohhh, so they have the internet on computers now?
[/Homer]

My personal favorite: “I can’t print.”

A close second: “Is the server down? I can’t get on the innernet.”

  1. What the hell does the file server have to do with internet connectivity?

  2. The innernet? As opposed to the outernet?

Yes, the internet is down. They’re cleaning it today.

I am relatively certain that it has something to do with lying to the tech person or installing illegal software.

Pezpunk…I don’t have a bicycle, so there!