Quick, very pertinent question.
Our hot water is off throughout the apartment building, and will likely remain so for the weekend. The manager of the building says that the company that maintains the boiler doesn’t work weekends.
So are we legally entitled to rent a hotel room so we can shower, and deduct the cost from our next rent payment?
This is in Los Angeles, if that matters.
Tenant’s rights will likely vary from state to state.
I had the same exact problem with my landlord, where in the dea dof winter the heat did NOT work, and the hot water lasted all of 2 minutes, turning morning showers into living nightmares.
Here in Jersey City, NJ you first have to write a letter to the landlord explaining the problem (use delivery confirmation). If he does not fix it in a reasonable amount of time, or if it’s an emergency situation (And the law is usually specific on what is and what is not), you can go ahead and have the problem fixed and deduct the amoutn from the rent.
Of course in our case, the landlord got pissed and insisited we pay for half the plumber’s feee. We caved in, I don’t know why.
But like I said, laws vary from place to place, do a google search for tenant’s rights in your area. And also IANAL. 
Good luck.
Is it impossible to shower without the hot water?
Laws vary by locality. Many require that the landlord see that certain basic services are provided (i.e., heat, hot water, sewage), and if those services are out, tenants may not have to pay rent.
I’m not aware of any laws that would basically automatically award damages (as in payment for a hotel room) if those services are not available. Check your local laws or a lawyer.
Technically, the aparment is uninhabitable, according to California law. California Civil Code Section 1941.1 says that “A dwelling may be considered uninhabitable (unlivable) if it substantially lacks any of the following:
… Plumbing facilities in good working order, including hot and cold running water, connected to a sewage disposal system. …”
Key word there is “substantially” - the LA Housing department may not be interested if you’re in cold water for just a weekend. But, it’s certainly worth calling them, and for now, just tell the landlord that California law says the place is uninhabitible due to not having hot water.
See more at http://www.dca.ca.gov/legal/landlordbook/problems.htm
And a plumbing / boiler company that doesn’t work on weekends? Pure bull. Your landlord just doesn’t want to pay for weekend service.
Practical rather than legal advice here, as I’m unqualified to comment on the latter with regards to your locale:
If you decide not to head for the hotel, what you do is bring a moderately large pot of water to impressive hotness on the stovetop — as hot as you would ever conceive of applying to your skins via washrag + maybe 30% more.
Then you take the largest pot you’ve got, and you fill it with tap-temperature (i.e., cold) water.
a) immerse washrag in cold water. Wring out.
b) immerse moist-cold washrag in hot water. Wring out over tub or sink (not over hot water pot).
c) apply soap to hot washrag.
d) apply soapy hot washrag to bod.
e) immerse hot soapy moderately-unclean washrag in cold water. Rinse out soap completely, wring out.
f) immerse moist-cold-rinsed-soapless washrag in hot water. Wring out over tub or sink (not over hot water pot).
…and (in this case case literally) lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.
If your landlord is truly trying to be helpful rather than just being a prick, you may want to consider just eating the cost or staying in the place, i.e., be reasonable and do what you would do if you were a homeowner. If the owner’s being a jerk, then go to town on his butt. I know this is outside the scope of GQ, but consider that the vast majority of the country doesn’t go running to a hotel whenever they lose hot water for a couple of days. Maybe because it’s their own money, but I’d suspect that it’s just because it’s not as comfortable. Do you really want to stay in a hotel for three days rather than in your own apartment? Why? Just for water for a shower? Or is there some other motivation? What type of hotel would you charge the owner for? The penthouse at the Four Seasons, or a cheap, single room at the Motel 6? Which is reasonable vs. unreasonable? I’m not trying to attack here, but rather to encourage you to ask yourself these questions.
For what it’s worth, I’m currently a renter, too, and we just went through a worse problem – no water at all. There’s water rationing here, so we only have city water for 8 hours per day. The cistern fills up during this time, and an electric pump keeps pressure in the house at a perfect level. But when water is off for the entire weekend, the 450 liter cistern empties without your knowledge, and the pump burns out trying in vain to maintain pressure. So day 1, the management company looks at the pump. Day 2 the owner’s engineer comes to take the pump. At the end of day 3, the rebuilt pump is installed (with a water level cuttoff for the cistern this time!). It really sucked having to take a whore-bath, but all in all, it was still a lot better than going to a hotel for three days – and even then, the hotel would have been free of cost to me.
A couple months ago, I had no hot water for about a week (no thanks to my landlord), and I can tell you the answer is yes.
Balthisar, your post does put things in perspective. Have you always had water rationing in your city, or is this something new?
I did end up showering in cold water yesterday. The only problem, besides the cold, was that there was barely enough water pressure to wash effectively, since the missing hot water constitutes a good portion of the outflowing pressure. Mrs. Spectre skipped, but she was OK; women are less–shall we say–aromatic than men.
By now it should be fixed.
Spectre of Pithecanthropus, I’m not in my home city, but all of the natives tell me that water rationing is relatively new here. Don’t know why it should be new; this is the middle of the Sonoran desert and there aren’t a whole lot of natural water sources. Maybe the fact that my monthly water usage – no different than in the USA, really – only cost less than $4 doesn’t lend to the idea of conservation too much. I had to bring back a USA low-flow shower head, because I couldn’t stand the torrents that came out of the original shower head.
The cistern should normally be good enough. Apparently, though, the fact that the water people are on strike means that when the water is off, there’s a possibility that it won’t be turned back on! That’s why our cistern ran dry.
I – being from a state where water conservation is regarded as left-wing, tree-hugging nonsense – have a totally new perspective of drought conditions. Actually, that’s not entirely true; we do have distribution and infrastructure issues in SE Michigan, but that’s Detroit’s fault; not for a lack of water.