There are two different “Patches?” Oh, the horror…
And let’s not forget the only thing worse than the dead teen song–the dead pet song, as exemplified by “Shannon” and “Wildfire.” (Well, “Wildfire” has a dead teen in it too.)
Wow. No one has mentioned Honey by Bobby Goldsboro yet?
Well, I thought of it, but it’s not a TEEN death song, really. It does, however, take top honors in the “Schmaltziest Piece of Crap Ever: General” category…
I know. It really doesn’t fit the OP. I thought of the Teen Death Song objection when I considered nominating Honey, but then I saw the songs in Extraneous’s list and said “what the heck! If Indiana Wants Me is on the list, then…”
Besides, how often does one get to point people to this dreck anyway? I consider it a public service. (mischievous grin)
Oh, my…I think I’d consider pointing people AWAY from this kind of dreck to be a public service, actually.
I was going to add something about the road to hell being paved with yadda, yadda, yadda, but realized that nobody who’s pointing people toward stuff like Honey can possibly have good intentions… 
And suddenly I’m craving a slab of ribs for some reason…
Do you have a cite for this? Mark Dinning’s “Teen Angel” was co-written by Dinning’s sister, recorded in 1959, and became a #1 hit. It’s the song that really kicked off the teen tragedy craze, so it couldn’t have been a parody–the fad hadn’t happened yet.
Jody Reynold’s “Endless Sleep” was earlier, having been a hit in 1958, but in that song the girlfriend doesn’t die–she’s saved from drowning at the end.
Well that wasn’t nice. I DID not need that song in my head.
And of course Ode to Billy Joe was on the radio today. I sang along. I love that one. That and Don’t Fear the Reaper. Because my taste in music sucks. Leader of the Pack just makes me laugh, but I love it 'cause I get to make vroom vroom noises.
-Lil
Of course, there’s a webpage for this.
Leader of the Pack wasn’t the only death song the Shangri-Las recorded - they also did one called Give Us Your Blessings, in which a young couple seeks the girl’s parents’ permission to marry. They don’t give their blessings, so:
When they left that night, they were crying, and nobody knows for sure
if that is why they didn’t see the sign that said “detour”
… and they both die! Fantastic!
I’ve heard both versions of “Last Kiss,” and while I’m not fond of either of them, at least Eddie Vedder sounds sort of glum when he sings it. I mean, he always sounds glum anyway, but it fits for this. The version from the 60s is oddly perky, and kind of creeps me out.
I can’t explain why it’s popular. Kitsch?
“Last Kiss” is a pretty awful song. I have no idea why we listened to (and mostly enjoyed) music of that type back then. Teenagers don’t have much of a sense of their own mortality, so maybe it just seemed “romantic”. Maybe it all got a little too real after Viet Nam and songs like that weren’t popular.
We graduated to consuming a burro in “Timothy”. Gross.
BabbaBooey
I agree that “Don’t Fear The Reaper” does lack sufficient cowbell characteristics.
As that old show business adage goes “Never question Bruce Dickinson”.
I have a heretofore unmentioned “death” song. “Tell Tommy I Miss Him” by Marilyn Michaels.
This was the follow-up to “Tell Laura I Love Her” whereby, Tommy dies in a racecar crash trying to win the money to buy Laura an engagement (or wedding ring). At the end of that song, they mention Laura is in a chapel, etc.
In ** Tell Tommy I Miss Him** , Laura is still in the chapel pouring (and singing) her heart out to her Tommy who has now departed this veil of tears. Needless to say, this song was not as big of a hit as “Tell Laura…” but still it is worth a mention here.
And speaking of the “Shangi-Las” ever hear their song “I Can Never Go Home Anymore” ? Basically, a young teen girl sings about leaving home because she loves some guy. Then she loses interest in the guy but her mother “grew so lonely that in the end… the angels took her for their friend”. Although not a dead teenager song, still worth a mention.
Speaking of the “Shangri-Las”. they also did “Remember, Walkin’ In The Sand” which was a powerfully gloomy song. (I like it quite a bit). Though no deaths occur, I’m only mentioning it because if you think of this song along with their 3 death songs, isn’t it ironic that they called themselves the “Shangri-Las”?
Um, Macie…what led you to believe that Timothy was a burro?
Nope. Timothy was a guy.
Just a few comments on things people have already mentioned:
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Run Joey Run is the single most hilariously bad song I have ever heard. I love when the girl gets shot and she gasps out one last, “Daddy please don’t, we’re gon…na… get… mar…ried…” and the angels start to sing.
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In Eddie Vedder’s cover of Last Kiss, he doesn’t sound glum. He sounds constipated.
Pearl Jam did record the song for Kosovo Relief, and they released it on the Lost Dogs rarity CD.
According to the liner notes, Eddie Vedder bought the old 45 at a garage sale and thought it would be cool to record.
“I had heard ‘Last Kiss’ a lot as a kid and never thought it was all that cool,” said guiartist Stone Gossard. They sent the track out to Fan Club members in 1998, and a Philly radio station started playing it. It became Pearl Jam’s biggest hit.
“We’ve done really weel with teenage death songs” – Ed Vedder
Sorry …
“We’ve done really well with teenage death songs” – Ed Vedder
Don’t remember enough of the words. Does it qualify?
Q
In spades, Quasi, in spades.
Don’t blame me; you brought this stinker up. It’s only fair that your memory be refreshed as to why you MUST NEVER DO SO AGAIN!
Nobody’s mentioned El Paso yet; as far as I know, the only story song in which the narrator is singing from beyond the grave.
Come to think of it, he sounds pretty good, for a corpse. Still Felina’s behavior towards him is utterly incomprehensible.
Oh, and Eddy, let’s have a bit less of the “the Lord took her away from me.” Fact is, you killed her with your piss-poor driving skills.