Chavardz’s linky-link doesn’t work anymore. Or maybe, just not for me…
I forget which W.C. Fields movie this was:
“Do you have any last requests?”
“Yes, I should like to see Paris before I die. Philladelphia will do!”
MM you seem to be under some delusion that a small filet of sea bass does not require the entire sea bass to die.
It’s not like they can catch one, cut out a bit for you, then release it.
---- News Announcement on TV ----
Le Cordon Bleu - Alcatraz
I am pleased to announce the opening of Alcatraz, San Francisco, United States, part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, as the latest addition to our Le Cordon Bleu schools.
Tradition, Innovation, Excellence. These words are more than the Le Cordon Bleu motto, they are our mission, our vision, and the foundation of the curriculum at every Le Cordon Bleu International Institute.
We understand the long history and tradition of execution and the importance of the Last Meal. This is where Le Cordon Bleu - Alcatraz excels. Our innovative courses produce fare from Fugu Rubripes to dessert such as “Death By Chocolate”.
We have chef and volunteer openings that are to die for. So please hurry and apply before current openings are filled.
A shot of Alcatraz from the air. Passing by, you see chefs and inmates waving from the grounds as you hear…
Hey, you’re young and swingin’,
No time to think about tomorrow
But there ain’t no way to deny it
Some day, you’re gonna buy it.
Le Cordon Bleu, Le Cordon Bleu
The chef with the plot, the chef with the plan!
Le Cordon Bleu, Le Cordon Bleu,
It’s scruptuous meal you can die for?
You bet!
[sub]With apologies to Le Cordon Bleu and WKRP In Cincinatti[/sub]
Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
Hmm… Last meal would probably have to be a nice steak nearly raw(who cares about getting sick), a nice glass of bacon grease, then for the second course 1lb. of unpopped popcorn to see what would happen(well, I wouldn’t see but everyone else would), maybe a lil gasoline for fun, then finish everything off with a durian smoothie. As for the durian, I’ve heard they smell like week old dog vomit but their taste is wonderful, and I wouldn’t wouldn’t have to worry about having bad breath for very long :-p
lovelyluka, it doesn’t work for me either. Conspiracy, anyone?
Thank God for google.
www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm+finalmeals.htm&hl=en&ie=UTF-8]Google Cache
Oh, so Aquarius_guy gets to turn him self in a bomb of reaking death and pop corn, but I can’t get a grilled slice of tastey sea life?
Yeah, thats justice all right.
All I can say is, it’s a damn good thing they don’t grant last meal requests to convicted cannibals.
Why not? Think about it. You could have the liver of the guy the executed last week.
Fava beans apparently are subject to availability:dubious:
Anybody else think there must have been more to this story?
Warden: Are you ready Johnny?
Johnny: I just want to say goodbye to my Mom.
Warden: Of course.
Johnny: Goodbye, Mom, I just wanted to say I love you and I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused.
Mother: That’s all very nice. But what’s this I hear about you refusing your last meal.
Johnny: I guess I wasn’t very hungry.
Mother: Hungry, shmungry. You should eat something.
Johnny: But Mom I’m going to be dead in less than an hour.
Mother: So? No reason to die on an empty stomach.
Johnny: It’s just that the thought of dying kind of killed my appetite.
Mother: Listen to Mr Martyr. You’d think you were going to be electrocuted or hung. But no, you’re going to die by lethal injection. One shot and it’ll all be over. Not like when I carried you around for nine months and went through twenty hours of labor. But you were always such a baby about needles. I remember what I had to go through when you got your measles shot.
Johnny: For God’s sake, Mom, I said I was sorry.
Mother: A person in your position shouldn’t be sassing the Lord, young man. And you should be sorry. Do you know the difficulty you’ve caused me with this little murder spree of yours? I wasn’t able to face my bridge club for weeks after the trial.
Johnny: All right, all right, if I eat something will it make you happy?
Mother: I’m happy when you’re happy, son. How about it Warden? Can my Johnny still get something to eat? Nothing special, I know it’s kind of last minute.
Warden: Of course we can arrange something. What would you like Johnny?
Johnny: I don’t know. How about pizza?
Warden: I’m sorry Johnny, but we don’t have any pizza here at the prison.
Mother: You see? This is what happens when you wait until the last minute to do things.
Johnny: What about some fried chicken?
Mother: You’re not going to eat something greasy for your last meal are you? How about a nice salad?
Johnny: Mom, it’s my last meal. Let me have a little say in it.
Mother: Fine. Who am I to interfere? Just your mother, that’s all.
Johnny: Let’s get this over with. What are they serving for lunch in the mess hall.
Warden: Hamburgers.
Johnny: That’ll work. One hamburger. Is that okay with you Mom?
Mother: Don’t ask me. It’s your last meal.
Johnny: Okay, okay. Warden, one hamburger. To go.
Warden: You want fries with that?
Johnny: No just the burger.
Warden: Here you go. Are you ready now?
Johnny: More than you can imagine.
Warden: I understand.
Mother: Don’t think I don’t know what you two are talking about.
Johnny: Let it go Mom.
So roast unicorn basted in dragon’s blood is out, huh?
Perhaps MM’s executioners could bludgeon him to death with a whole sea bass? Then strap it to him, have a fish fry and serve the other death row prisoner’s a tasty meal.
Well yes in principle that would be wonderfull, sea bass for all and what not. However, most people don’t wind up on death row for bing notorious self-sacraficing Maytars.
I want MY Sea bass first and foremost. THe rest of the Green mile can kiss my hairy monkey ass!
Little Nemo,
ONE OF THE BEST POSTS IN THIS ENTIRE THREAD!
I do believe you owe me a new monitor, keyboard, modem, speakers, tablet, mouse…
Hmmmm…for my last meal I think I’d want a bottle of Jack Daniels and Vicodin.
If he doesn’t give you the sea bass, fling poo at him until he acquiesces.
Sea bass, pah. What about manta ray? Served 1920s style, of course.
I think that’s the point. We may be killing them, but we’re doing it humanely (as far as possible). It’s meant to show that we’re better than them.
Little Nemo, that was genius. Send it in to SNL, or whatever the current equivalent is!
Little Nemo slayed me.
SciFiSam You are gentleman and a scholar! The brutal murder with the class and dignity to request Sea bass is surely deserving of such a platitude before he’s shot full of enough poison to kill Iggy Pop.
Hmmm, I’ve had sea bass… If I recall, it looked and tasted like unflavored gelatin… Not something I’d choose as a last meal.