late night dating site musings

So after two years I decided to try dating again. Been too long, and my fore arm getting too strong. I’m in a much better place and gong places

So I set up a dating profile, it’s suitably, and reflectively chill, ironic, satirical, and possibly even funny. Then never get around to messaging anyone. Eh lot of trouble, being a hermit is so much easier.

Yet for some reason I still browse I have no idea why. Every profile I find a reason not to message them. Wonder off, come back a few weeks later and do the same again. Lather, rinse, repeat. I end up messaging a few people. One no response, one that peters out, one that messages, then disappears for a week then messages me back (not impressed; I didn’t respond).
Well l I check the who viewed my profile page. Top of the list, some chick. For some reason she looks different than the rest. Extremely average, a tad over weight but different, hard to place, but eye catching. She didn’t have all this trashy stuff people around here seem to like, and her pic wasn’t a myspace angle. Just her with a nice hair cut looking slightly awkward at the camera. It had a certain charming sincerity, that’s what’s different.

I figure this is a good omen. I don’t like fake people. So I click her picture, and her profile seems like her picture. Sincere, plus she has a lot of the same interests. So a little excited I decided to message her. When guess who should message me?

The same young woman! Apparently she really liked my profile.

So now we’ve been messaging back and fourth, and I wonder where this could lead. Probably no where, I mean some messages on a dating site tells me nothing, really. I know so little about this girl. Maybe she’s really a guy. Maybe she’s really a jerk in person.
Yet just on the off chance it does go somewhere. I shouldn’t jynx it by telling her I get a little more excited when we trade messages than I’d like. Which is odd because most people aren’t exciting at all. Quite the opposite.

Actually, I’ve been surprised by how much you can tell about someone just from passing messages back and forth on a dating site. If I recall correctly, I’ve met five men who I started out messaging back and forth with on a dating site, and you can tell a lot about a person’s values, personality, and sense of humor by the topics they talk about and the words they choose.

I’d ask for her phone number if I were you. You can tell even more about a woman over the phone. :wink: (And I’m sure there will be people who disagree and say, "Don’t ask for her phone number, ask to meet her in person. My vote, personally, is ask for her phone number, and then ask her out when you call her – not text, call. But we all have our preferences.)

I concur with The wind of my soul.
The sooner you move this relationship offline and into real life, the better. If you wait too long you’ll build her up in your mind to an impossible ideal. Go meet the real person.

And good luck! :slight_smile:

Agreed. I had a fantastic messaging relationship with a guy and then a bunch of great phone calls. We had similar interests and senses of humor. He had a way with words that really struck a chord with me. And I could tell that he dug me too. I thought it was going places. When we eventually met in person, though, he was abominable. I can’t even describe it. It was like he wasn’t the same person. I even went on 3 dates with him, thinking maybe his nerves had gotten the best of him, hoping the guy I thought knew would show up. Instead, our 3rd date ended in a shouting match and my slamming his car door. He somehow managed to turn ME into an entirely different person too. (Nobody makes me angry like that.)

Like Wheelz says, be careful not to idealize her.

Call her. And if she still seems appealing, ask her if she’d feel comfortable meeting for coffee (or drinks or whatever makes sense) soon.

I don’t want to discourage you. I’ve had good experiences too.

And my best college friend met his wife on a dating site. Perfect perfection, those two.
Also my horrible cousin found her equally horrible husband on a different site. Peas in a rotten pod.

Oh I shall, I shall! Tomorrow when I have minutes on my phone, and in the meantime I shall have nervous anticipation! I have experienced that in years. Don’t know what to make of it.