Tonight’s Daily Show featured a papal campaign attack ad which was done almost entirely in Latin. That in itself is funny, but I’m kind of curious what they were saying. With my rough knowledge of Latin (I’m good enough to know that is what they were speaking) I think they were saying that the cardinal was from Germany, the same country as Martin Luther and would result in another Reformation but I’m not completely certain. Anyone with better knowledge of Latin who saw this and can help me out?
Well I just scrambled for the remote but I must have just missed that segment.
Guess I’ll catch it tomorrow. 
I don’t speak Latin (so my transcript will be probably horrible), but here’s a transcript of the segment in question (©2005 Comedy Partners) just for the heck of it and since it’s on my TiVo: (Luckily, the captioneer at the time must have had a script on hand, but some words are spelled as they sound by myself.)
Stephen Colbert:…the two top contenders are Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, the Vatican’s chief theologian, and Francis Cardinal Arinze of Nigeria. Jon, the Conclave is Monday and the gloves are off between these two men. Already, the 527s- or, as they’re known in the Vatican, the DXXVIIs- have begun airing attack ads. This one ran last night…
(fake attack ad in Latin)
Cardinal Ratzinger dicet amat magna mater ecclessia, sed qui veritase est? Eram prognatus en Germania, ut eram…Martin Luther! Validus ecclesius est alius Reformation superstes pere “a sausage-eating bastard?” (Source: Papal Encyclical XXVI)
Igo Cardinal Arinze, et igo probatas es nutias.
Paid for by Celerus Pecunia ab Cardinali Vaticanus per veritas
Colbert: Ouch! Cinch your cassack- it’s gonna be a bumpy Conclave! Johannes?
I’ll give it a go:
Cardinal Ratzinger says that he loves the mother church, but what’s the truth? His lover was born in Germany, his lover being … Martin Luther! Is the powerful church witnessing another Reformation by way of “a sausage-eating bastard?”
(Had to guess what “pere” might actually have been. Used “per”.)
I’m Cardianl Arinze, and I approve this message.
Thanks! That is even funnier than the tiny bit I could follow.
No, there’s no “lover” in there. The Latin was badly pronounced and the grammar in the Tivo transcription is off, as well. “Igo” is spelled “ego” (I), for example.
Cardinal Ratzinger says that he loves the great mother church, but what is the truth? He was born in Germany and so was . . . Martin Luther! Can the mighty church survive another Reformation with “a sausage-eating bastard”?
Thanks, Gobear. Yours looks exactly right and is funny too. I should have been able to figure it out from the context. (I wish I’d seen it, but I don’t really watch the show anymore.)
Speaking of the Daily Show, did they really win a Peabody award? If so, specifically for what?
Their coverage of the 2004 election.
Bill O’Reilly is gonna’ be livid.
They also won four years ago for their coverage of the 2000 election.
TWO Peabodys, huh?
…you sure it wasn’t just the one Polk? 
Is he ever not?
Watching the Latin ad again, when the picture of Cardinal Arinze shows, with the “I approve this message,” I noticed that there’s a credit, “Cerelus Pecunia ab Cardinalis”–Swift Money from Cardinals.
He already is. He seemed quite suprised that Jon Stewart made Time’s 100 most influencial list, and said he was shocked by his book sales because “I didn’t think his audience could read”.
I don’t know why I watch him, but I suspect it’s because there’s nothing else on TV between 5 and 6pm.
This was after that study a few months back that showed that the Daily Show’s audience was more educated than his own? Man, talk about people that can’t read…
THis was Monday, Apirl 11th when he said that.
As for that study, it’s the “secular media”'s fault.
“Cerelus…Cardinali Vaticanus per veritas”-Swift Vatican Cardinals for Truth
Thanks, I should have written it down.